视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be careful with grammar and word choice, and make answers more concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundant phrases (e.g., "the other time"), and correct grammar errors ("a more deeper reflection" → "a deeper reflection"). Use linking words to show contrast or reason (e.g., "because", "so"). Aim for 3–4 well-structured sentences: state preference, give a reason, and a short specific example.

示例: I prefer taking selfies and recording vlogs rather than landscape photos because videos capture people and activities more vividly. For example, on a recent trip to Ghana, my vlog recorded conversations and sounds that made the memory feel more personal. Watching those clips later helps me relive the experience.

建议: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and balanced supporting details. Avoid vague collective phrases like "we can all agree" and fix awkward phrasing ("training a big party" is unclear). Use linking words to contrast (e.g., "however", "on the other hand") and give one specific example of an urban advantage. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: I prefer rural views for their tranquillity and natural beauty because they offer quiet, cleaner air and scenic landscapes. However, urban areas have practical advantages; for example, I would choose a city venue for a large party because it has better transport links and facilities. So it depends on whether I want peace or convenience.

建议: Start with a direct answer and then give concise, specific supporting details. Avoid repetitive phrases ("I've seen videos, I've seen pictures"). Correct small errors ("it's not so beautiful places" → "some places are less attractive"). Use linking words (e.g., "however", "for example") to make the response cohesive and limit to 3–4 sentences.

示例: I prefer the views in my own country because I know many beautiful local spots. For example, the mountains in Jigawa are impressive, and the lakes in the east are very peaceful. Although I haven't travelled abroad, I believe every country has both beautiful and less attractive places.

× No, I don't like taking pictures of different views.

✓ No, I don't like taking pictures of different views.

This sentence is grammatically correct; it uses the gerund 'taking' properly after the verb 'like'. No change needed.

× I prefer taking selfies or recording vlogs.

✓ I prefer taking selfies or recording vlogs.

This sentence correctly uses gerunds 'taking' and 'recording' after the verb 'prefer'. No change needed.

× For example, I had a trip with my friends to Ghana the other time and a vlog was a more deeper reflection.

✓ For example, I took a trip to Ghana with my friends recently, and a vlog was a deeper reflection.

Problems: 'had a trip' is less natural than 'took a trip' (verb choice), 'the other time' is awkward; 'recently' fits better. 'a more deeper' is incorrect because 'more' should not be used with the comparative 'deeper' (double comparative). Correction fixes verb choice, word order, and removes double comparative. Suggestion: use 'took a trip' and either 'more deep' (nonstandard) or better 'deeper' alone.

× You know, watching the video, looking back on the trip, it was a much more personal experience for me.

✓ You know, watching the video and looking back on the trip was a much more personal experience for me.

Issue: sentence structure and tense alignment. The original has a comma splice and awkward subject reference for 'it'. Combine the gerund phrases 'watching' and 'looking' as the subject of 'was'. Also remove the unnecessary 'more' before 'personal' if comparing to taking photos; if explicit comparison exists, 'much more personal' is acceptable, but structure should be clear. Suggestion: make the gerund phrase the subject or clearly reference what 'it' refers to.

× I think we can all agree that rural areas are more serene, they have better views, there's more connection with nature, so it's cleaner, it's prettier with the flowers and the animals.

✓ I think we can all agree that rural areas are more serene; they have better views and a closer connection with nature, so they are cleaner and prettier with flowers and wildlife.

Problems: run-on sentence with commas; inconsistent pronouns ('there's more connection' is informal and uses 'there is'); 'it's cleaner' uses singular pronoun for plural 'areas'. Also 'the animals' is too specific; 'wildlife' is better. Correction fixes subject-pronoun agreement and article use. Suggestion: use parallel structure and correct plural agreement ('they are').

× But urban areas also have the advantages.

✓ But urban areas also have advantages.

'The advantages' is awkward without specifying which advantages; dropping 'the' makes the sentence natural. Suggestion: use 'advantages' or specify them.

× Like if I'm training a big party, for example, I won't want to do that in the rural area.

✓ For example, if I'm hosting a big party, I wouldn't want to do that in a rural area.

Problems: 'training a big party' is incorrect verb choice; 'hosting' fits. 'in the rural area' improperly uses 'the' and sounds specific; use 'in a rural area'. Also conditional mood fits better with 'wouldn't'. Suggestion: use correct verb and article, and conditional form for preferences.

× I want an urban area for that.

✓ I would prefer an urban area for that.

Improvement: 'I want an urban area' is understandable but 'I would prefer an urban area' is more natural when comparing preferences. Use 'an' correctly here; no article error but phrasing improved. Suggestion: use 'prefer' for comparisons and conditional 'would'.

× I don't have a lot of data to compare both because I've never been out of my country before.

✓ I don't have much to compare because I've never been out of my country.

Problems: 'a lot of data to compare both' is awkward; 'much to compare' is more natural. 'Before' is redundant with present perfect 'I've never been'; remove it. Suggestion: simplify to 'I don't have much to compare' and drop 'before'.

× But I've seen videos, I've seen pictures, and I think every country has its beautiful places and it's not so beautiful places.

✓ But I've seen videos and pictures, and I think every country has beautiful places and not-so-beautiful places.

Problems: 'it's not so beautiful places' mixes contraction 'it's' (it is) with plural noun 'places'—agreement error and incorrect article. Use parallel noun phrases 'beautiful places' and 'not-so-beautiful places'. Also combine 'videos' and 'pictures' cleanly. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and correct subject-verb agreement.

× I like the views in Jigawa, the mountains there.

✓ I like the views in Jigawa, especially the mountains there.

Original is understandable but needs a linking word to show emphasis; add 'especially' to connect the two parts. No major grammar error, just clarity improvement.

× I like the lakes in the east too.

✓ I also like the lakes in the east.

Reordering for natural emphasis: placing 'also' before the verb is more natural in English. No serious grammar error, just style preference.

× So the views in my country are great.

✓ So, overall, the views in my country are great.

Add 'overall' for smoother conclusion; sentence is grammatically fine but this improves flow. Suggestion: use transitional words for clearer conclusions.