视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., "I love to capture pictures" and "keen interest" together) and fix articles and verb forms ("those pictures," "I want to upload and share"). Use a linking word to connect reasons.

示例: Yes, I do. I enjoy taking photos whenever I travel because my phone is always with me and I like documenting interesting scenes. For example, I often photograph street markets and skyline views, then upload those pictures to social media to share experiences with my friends.

建议: Good structure and a clear reason with an example. To improve, add one more specific descriptive detail and use a linking word to strengthen cohesion (e.g., "for instance" or "moreover"). Also vary vocabulary (use "urban" synonyms like "cityscapes", "architecture").

示例: I prefer urban views because cityscapes offer striking architecture and vibrant streets. For instance, in Bathinda I enjoy photographing historical monuments and busy bazaars; moreover, the mixture of old buildings and modern infrastructure creates interesting contrasts in my photos.

建议: Organize the answer: give a clear topic sentence, then two concise, specific reasons. Remove filler sounds ("uh") and repetition ("area around"). Correct grammar and phrasing ("I have been on many trips," "it is cheaper"). Use a linking word like "firstly" and "secondly" properly.

示例: I prefer views in my own country for two main reasons. Firstly, I have travelled to many places at home, so I know where to find interesting photo spots. Secondly, staying local is cheaper and more convenient, which means I can take more trips and photographs throughout the year.

× I love to capture pictures while I'm traveling or going anywhere because my phone is always with me and I have a keen interest in taking photos of every view, whatever I see best around me.

✓ I love capturing pictures while I'm traveling or going anywhere because my phone is always with me and I have a keen interest in taking photos of every view I see around me.

Use 'love capturing' (verb + -ing) instead of 'love to capture' for natural continuous preference; remove unnecessary phrase 'whatever I see best around me' and replace with 'I see around me' to be clear and grammatical.

× And also I have I want to upload that pictures on social media and sharing with my friends.

✓ I also want to upload those pictures on social media and share them with my friends.

Use 'those' (plural demonstrative) rather than 'that' for plural 'pictures' and remove duplicated 'I have'; use base verb 'share' after conjunction and include object pronoun 'them' to refer to 'pictures'.

× I prefer views in cities because cities have a lot of infrastructure and modernization.

✓ I prefer views in cities because cities have a lot of infrastructure and are modernized.

Use 'are modernized' or 'are modern' rather than 'modernization' to match noun phrase; original used noun where adjective or verb phrase fits better.

× For example, in my city Bathinda, there are a lot of historical monuments and tourist attractions, which makes my city more interesting and lively.

✓ For example, in my city Bathinda, there are a lot of historical monuments and tourist attractions, which make my city more interesting and lively.

Subject 'a lot of historical monuments and tourist attractions' is plural, so relative clause should use 'make' (plural) not 'makes' (singular) to agree with subject.

× Definitely, I prefer my own country and there are a couple of reasons for that.

✓ Definitely, I prefer my own country, and there are a couple of reasons for this.

Use 'this' to refer back to the preference; 'for that' is acceptable but 'for this' is clearer in context. Also add comma before conjunction for clarity.

× Firstly, I know most of the areas around my country, uh, because I have visited UH-2 lot of trips, so I know the area around and it would be cheap for me if I travel inside my own country.

✓ Firstly, I know most areas in my country because I have visited on a lot of trips, so I know the area well and it would be cheaper for me to travel within my own country.

Correct 'visited UH-2 lot of trips' to 'visited on a lot of trips'; remove filler 'uh' and fix repetition 'know the area around'; use comparative 'cheaper' and infinitive 'to travel within' for proper sentence structure and clearer meaning.