视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation sounds (umm), correct grammar (use active voice and singular/plural forms), and keep it concise. You can briefly explain why with one supporting detail using a linking word.

示例: No, I don't really enjoy taking pictures of scenery. However, I don't mind having my photo taken when I'm somewhere beautiful because it helps me remember the moment.

建议: Give a clear preference sentence, use correct tense, remove repetition, and add a specific reason with a linking word. Keep to two or three sentences and avoid filler words.

示例: I prefer taking photos in rural areas because open spaces make me feel calm. For example, I enjoy walking along quiet country lanes and photographing fields and trees.

建议: Make a clear, grammatically correct statement about preference, explain why with specific details, and avoid unclear phrases like 'in my career' or repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas and express emotions clearly.

示例: I prefer views in my own country because the landscapes and cultural sites in Korea feel familiar and meaningful to me. For instance, traditional villages and mountain temples remind me of family traditions and make me feel nostalgic.

× No, I don't enjoy taking pictures but I don't mind umm, taking my photo taken of a scenic views.

✓ No, I don't enjoy taking pictures, but I don't mind having my photo taken of scenic views.

The original sentence uses a noun phrase 'taking my photo taken' which is ungrammatical; the correct causative/perfect participle is 'having my photo taken.' Also 'a scenic views' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'views'; change to 'scenic views' without 'a'. Use a comma before 'but' to join independent clauses.

× I prefer taking photos in little in a rural area when I was When I am a little space I feel comfortable and calm, for example, umm walking.

✓ I prefer taking photos in rural areas because when I have a little space I feel comfortable and calm; for example, walking.

The original mixes tenses ('was' and 'am') and has incorrect word order and articles ('in little in a rural area'). Use present tense 'prefer' and 'have' to match the general preference. Use plural 'rural areas' or 'in a rural area' consistently; here 'in rural areas' fits with 'taking photos'. Remove filler sounds and add proper connectors; use a semicolon or conjunction to join clauses. 'For example, walking' is a concise way to give an example.

× I prefer our country views in my career because Korea is a wonderful place which is a tradition for me and they helps me longing helps me feel longing.

✓ I prefer views of my country because Korea is a wonderful place with many traditions for me, and it makes me feel nostalgic.

Original uses 'our country views in my career' which is unclear and incorrect pronoun/use of nouns. 'Our' vs 'my' inconsistent with 'in my career'; 'views of my country' is clearer. 'Which is a tradition for me' is incorrect because a place cannot be 'a tradition'; use 'with many traditions.' 'They helps me longing helps me feel longing' has subject-verb disagreement and wrong word choice; use singular 'it makes me feel nostalgic' or 'it makes me long for home.' This corrects pronoun reference and verb agreement and uses appropriate vocabulary.