视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (like, so), and use varied vocabulary. Add one specific example and a linking phrase to make it coherent.

示例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views, especially seascapes and natural scenes. For example, last month I photographed a rocky coastline at sunrise, capturing the light on the waves, which was very calming. In addition, I often take close-up shots of leaves to study textures and colors.

建议: Clarify sentence structure and remove hesitations. Use a clear comparative structure and one or two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because / therefore).

示例: I prefer rural areas to urban areas because cities are often crowded and noisy. For example, rural places like forests or coastal villages offer peaceful landscapes and cleaner air, so I find them much more relaxing and better for taking photos.

建议: Improve grammar and coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence, explain why with specific details (mention particular seasonal scenes), and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, because / moreover).

示例: I prefer views in my own country because Japan’s four seasons offer diverse scenery throughout the year. For instance, cherry blossoms in spring, lush green mountains in summer, colorful maple leaves in autumn, and snowy landscapes in winter provide very different and beautiful photo opportunities, which I find very relaxing.

× Absolutely, my hobby is taking a picture especially in ocean view or like nature.

✓ Absolutely, my hobby is taking pictures, especially of ocean views or nature.

Use the gerund plural 'taking pictures' to express a habitual activity; use 'of' after 'especially' for the object, and pluralize countable nouns 'ocean views' and 'pictures' for general habits.

× I mean like forest or taking picture of leaves.

✓ I mean like forests or taking pictures of leaves.

Use plural 'forests' for general reference and plural 'pictures'; 'of' is correct before 'leaves' but the noun forms need to be plural to indicate general activities.

× Like it can calm me down and makes me too relaxed so.

✓ It can calm me down and make me feel very relaxed.

'Calm' and 'make' are verbs joined by 'and' referring to the same subject 'it'; use base form 'make' not 'makes' after 'can'. Also 'make me feel very relaxed' is a clearer, natural expression.

× I prefer rural areas to urban areas because in urban area, although it is very convenient but it is too crowded for me.

✓ I prefer rural areas to urban areas because in urban areas, although they are very convenient, they are too crowded for me.

Use plural 'urban areas' to match 'rural areas'; avoid combining 'although' and 'but' together. Match subject-verb agreement: plural subject 'urban areas' takes plural verb 'are'.

× Uh and contrary rural areas have very beautiful views such as ocean or forest, so it can relax me.

✓ By contrast, rural areas have very beautiful views such as the ocean or forests, so they relax me.

Replace informal 'Uh and contrary' with 'By contrast'. Use 'the ocean' or plural 'forests' for natural features. Match pronoun 'they' to plural 'rural areas' and use present simple 'relax' to state a general truth.

× Yeah, I prefer my country to other countries.

✓ Yes, I prefer my country to other countries.

Change informal 'Yeah' to 'Yes' for a more formal test response; the sentence is otherwise grammatically correct, but the register suggestion improves formality.

× So in Japan we have Four Seasons, spring, summer and autumn and winter.

✓ In Japan we have four seasons: spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Use lowercase for 'four seasons' and a colon to introduce the list. 'Four' is a standard quantifier; capitalization was incorrect.

× So every season I have a different scenery and all of the scenery is my can relax me.

✓ Each season I have different scenery, and all of these scenes can relax me.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun, so use 'different scenery' or 'different scenes'. The original 'is my can relax me' is ungrammatical; correct to 'can relax me'. Use 'these scenes' to refer back to multiple views.