视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid sentence fragments and fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues (e.g. “Whenever I travel, I take…”).

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially broad mountain landscapes. For example, when I travel, I usually photograph sunrise over the peaks because the light and colours change quickly, so I can relive the moment later.

建议: Improve grammar and word choice, and be specific with reasons. Use linking words (e.g., “because,” “while,” “whereas”) and correct plural and article errors (e.g., “views in rural areas,” “lost” → “lush,” “coarse” → “concrete”). Limit to two to three sentences.

示例: I prefer views in rural areas because they have lush greenery and wide expanses of trees. Whereas urban areas are mostly concrete buildings, which I find less appealing and less relaxing.

建议: Avoid repetition and fix grammar and vocabulary (e.g., “my own country,” remove duplicate words, correct plurals and capitalization). Give one or two specific examples and use linking words (e.g., “for example,” “also”).

示例: I prefer views in my own country because it offers diverse landscapes, such as scenic mountains and beautiful valleys. For example, there are natural hot springs and dreamy mountain ranges that are hard to find elsewhere.

× Whenever I travel. Uh, I take various kinds of photos so that I can capture that moment and enjoy it later.

✓ Whenever I travel, I take various kinds of photos so that I can capture the moment and enjoy it later.

The original had a sentence fragment 'Whenever I travel.' which is incomplete because it lacks a main clause; this is a sentence structure error and relates to verb usage in continuous context. Connecting the dependent clause to the main clause with a comma creates a complete sentence. Also 'that moment' is more natural as 'the moment' here. Suggestion: combine dependent clauses with their main clause and ensure articles are correct.

× I prefer view on rural areas over urban areas.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas to urban areas.

Use 'views' (plural) to match 'areas' and the correct preposition is 'in' for locations. When comparing preferences, use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A over B'. Suggestion: say 'I prefer views in rural areas to those in urban areas' for clarity.

× Areas have the lost greenery and the big ranges of trees whereas the urban areas only has the course concrete buildings which I don't feel very appealing.

✓ Rural areas have the lush greenery and large expanses of trees, whereas urban areas only have coarse concrete buildings, which I don't find very appealing.

Subject-verb agreement and pluralization: 'areas... has' is incorrect; use 'areas... have'. 'lost' was likely intended as 'lush'. 'ranges of trees' is unnatural; 'expanses of trees' or 'large stands of trees' works. 'course' should be 'coarse'. Also 'I don't feel very appealing' is incorrect because 'appealing' should describe the buildings; use 'I don't find [them] very appealing' or 'I don't find it very appealing.' Suggestion: check plural forms and ensure verbs agree with subjects; choose appropriate adjectives.

× I prefer views in my own countries because there are various scenic scenic mount, scenic landscapes and beautiful valleys.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because there are various scenic mountains, beautiful landscapes, and lovely valleys.

Use singular 'country' when referring to one's own nation. 'mount' is incorrect; use 'mountains' (plural) or 'a mountain' depending on meaning. Also avoid repeated words ('scenic scenic'); arrange nouns in natural plurality and parallel structure. Suggestion: maintain consistent singular/plural forms and parallel lists: 'scenic mountains, beautiful landscapes, and valleys.'

× In my country, uh, there are natural Hot Springs and the mountains that looks like dream.

✓ In my country, there are natural hot springs and mountains that look like a dream.

Subject-verb agreement: 'mountains' is plural, so use 'look' (not 'looks'). 'Hot Springs' should be lowercased as 'hot springs' unless proper noun. 'look like dream' is missing article and natural phrasing; use 'look like a dream' or 'look dreamy.' Suggestion: match verb number to the subject and include necessary articles for idiomatic expressions.