视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you like taking pictures, then give one or two specific, linked reasons and an example. Use correct tense and smoother linking words (e.g., "because", "so", "however"). Avoid unnecessary or repetitive phrases and keep to max 4–5 sentences.

示例: I used to take many photos, but since 2020 I have slowed down because I’ve become more reflective and prefer to experience moments first-hand. However, if I encounter a particularly scenic view—such as a sunset over the mountains—I will still take a picture to remember it. Overall, I take photos occasionally rather than all the time.

建议: Clarify your preference: you seem to like both, so state that clearly and then compare with specific details using linking words like "while" or "whereas". Correct conditional and tense errors (use "if I talk" or "when I talk"). Keep sentences concise and focused.

示例: I enjoy views in both rural and urban areas because they offer different attractions. For example, in rural areas I appreciate open fields and lakes where I can relax, whereas in cities I enjoy historical buildings and interesting architecture that reflect culture and history.

建议: Be concise and grammatical: state your preference clearly (you like both), then give a specific reason and a short example. Fix grammar errors ("abroad", "I have found", "I would involve myself"). Avoid unrelated phrases like "have seen news" which are unclear.

示例: I enjoy views both at home and abroad because each place offers unique scenery. However, I haven’t traveled much recently due to a busy study schedule. If I had more free time, I would visit coastal areas or historical cities abroad to experience different landscapes and cultures.

× I generally changed my preference since 2020 to take pictures around me.

✓ I have generally changed my preference since 2020 and take fewer pictures around me.

The original uses simple past 'changed' with 'since 2020', which requires present perfect. Also wording 'to take pictures around me' is awkward; use 'take fewer pictures around me' to convey reduced activity. Use of present perfect ('have changed') shows a change that started in the past and continues now.

× However, I would like to say I become more spiritual that's why I am more lean towards not taking pictures nowadays.

✓ However, I would like to say I have become more spiritual, so I am more inclined not to take pictures nowadays.

'Become' should be in present perfect ('have become') because the change started in the past and affects the present. 'Lean towards' is incorrect collocation here; use 'inclined' + infinitive. Add a comma before 'so' and replace 'that's why' with 'so' for clearer sentence structure.

× But still if I like any scenic view I would go and take picture.

✓ But still, if I like any scenic view, I will go and take a picture.

Use future simple 'will' rather than conditional 'would' for a real possibility. Also 'take picture' needs the article 'a'. Commas improve readability.

× I prefer city views in both rural as well as urban areas as they both have their own charismatic charms.

✓ I prefer city views in both rural and urban areas because they each have their own charms.

'Both rural as well as urban' is redundant; use 'both...and'. 'They both' is acceptable but 'each' is clearer. 'Charismatic charms' is awkward; 'charms' suffices. Simplify conjunction use.

× If I'll talk about the rural areas, I would enjoy watching scenic views of the open fields and the lakes as compared to the urban areas where I love seeing historical buildings and the architecture.

✓ If I talk about rural areas, I enjoy watching scenic views of the open fields and lakes, while in urban areas I love seeing historical buildings and architecture.

In conditional 'if' clauses, use present simple ('If I talk') not 'If I'll talk'. Also use consistent tense: present simple 'enjoy' for habitual preference. Remove unnecessary articles 'the' before plural nouns like 'lakes' and 'architecture'.

× I am not biased so I enjoy watching views in my country as well as in abroad.

✓ I am not biased, so I enjoy watching views in my country as well as abroad.

'in abroad' is incorrect; use 'abroad' without a preposition. Add a comma before 'so' for clarity and natural flow.

× Due to hectic schedule and my study timings however, I am finding very less time to go out and have seen news.

✓ Due to my hectic schedule and study timings, however, I am finding very little time to go out and watch the news.

Use 'my hectic schedule' and 'very little time' (not 'very less'). 'Have seen news' is incorrect; 'watch the news' is the correct collocation for following news broadcasts. Maintain present continuous 'am finding' for current situation.

× But for sure if I'll get time I'll do involve myself in visiting to the different places I can go and visit.

✓ But for sure, if I get time, I will involve myself in visiting different places I can go to.

In 'if' clauses, use present simple ('if I get') not 'if I'll get'. 'I'll do involve myself' is incorrect; use 'I will involve myself'. Remove redundant 'visit' and correct preposition order: 'places I can go to' or 'places I can visit'.