视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and complete your final sentence. Start with a clear topic sentence, add one supporting detail and an example, and avoid repetition. Use linking words like “for example” or “so” to make it coherent. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g. “I love to capture” → “I love capturing” or “I love to take photos”).

示例: Yes, I do — I love taking photos of different views. For example, my phone is full of pictures of mountains, rivers and lakes because I enjoy capturing natural scenes. This hobby helps me relax and remember special moments.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler sounds and vague statements like “there is nothing to see.” Use comparative language and one brief example to strengthen the answer.

示例: I generally prefer rural views because nature there is less altered by people and feels peaceful. For example, I enjoy watching untouched forests and rolling hills, whereas urban views mostly feature tall buildings and busy streets, which feel less relaxing.

建议: Make a concise topic sentence and avoid repeating words. Give one specific reason and a brief example or comparison. Use correct collocations (e.g. “mountain ranges,” “rural places,” “astonishing views”).

示例: I prefer the views in my own country because it has spectacular mountain ranges and scenic rural areas. For instance, the rolling hills and peaks at sunrise create astonishing views that I haven’t seen elsewhere.

× Oh yes of course I like taking pictures.

✓ Oh yes, of course I like taking take pictures.

The original sentence is actually grammatical; however the instruction limits corrections to listed types. No change needed for -ing form here. Suggestion: keep 'taking pictures' as it is because it's correct.

× If you see or go through my phone you will definitely see many pictures that include the views like mountains, rivers, lakes, sun, moon, everything.

✓ If you look through my phone, you will definitely see many pictures of views such as mountains, rivers, lakes, the sun, the moon, and so on.

Use 'look through' instead of 'see or go through' for natural collocation; use 'pictures of views' rather than 'pictures that include the views like'; list items with 'such as' and include articles for 'the sun' and 'the moon'. Also add commas for clarity.

× I love to capture and I think I'm really connected to the.

✓ I love taking photos, and I think I'm really connected to them.

The verb 'capture' needs an object; 'take photos' is more natural. The original ends with an incomplete phrase 'connected to the.' Replace with 'connected to them' to refer back to photos or nature.

× I'll say I generally prefer the view of our rural areas because the natures are untouched by human in rural areas.

✓ I'd say I generally prefer rural views because nature in rural areas is untouched by humans.

Use 'I'd say' for natural speech; 'nature' is uncountable so not 'natures'; use 'untouched by humans' (plural) and avoid repeating 'rural areas' unnecessarily.

× However, in urban areas only you can see.

✓ However, in urban areas you can only see certain things.

Position of 'only' should be before the element it modifies; the original sentence is incomplete. 'Certain things' completes the idea.

× The things you can only see are the tall buildings.

✓ The things you mainly see are tall buildings.

Avoid awkward placement 'you can only see'; use 'mainly' or 'mostly' to express that tall buildings are the predominant sights in urban areas.

× Apart from it, there is nothing to see.

✓ Apart from that, there is not much else to see.

Use 'that' to refer back and 'not much else' sounds more natural than absolute 'nothing' in conversational context.

× So yes, I prefer.

✓ So yes, I prefer rural views.

Complete the sentence by specifying what is preferred; 'I prefer' alone is incomplete in context.

× Oh umm, I prefer the view of my own country because if you visit our country you can see mountain range and uh, mountain range and hills and the ruler places gives you astonishing view of the mountains, so I prefer.

✓ Oh, I prefer the views in my own country because if you visit it you can see mountain ranges and hills, and the rural places give you astonishing views of the mountains, so I prefer them.

Use plural 'mountain ranges' and 'views'; 'rural' was misspelled as 'ruler'; 'places give' must agree in number with plural subject; use 'it' to refer to the country and 'them' to refer to the views. Also remove repetition and improve flow.