视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce fillers and hesitations, give a clear topic sentence, and add one specific reason or example. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences) and use linking words for coherence. For instance, replace fillers like “uh” and “umm” with short pauses; say why photos are memorable and whom you share them with.

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me preserve memorable moments. For example, I photograph sunsets during family trips and then share the best shots on Instagram or with my relatives so they can see what I experienced.

建议: Remove repetition and fillers, state a clear preference, and support it with specific reasons or a brief example. Use linking words (for example, because, such as) to structure the response and avoid vague phrases like “that kind of places.”

示例: I prefer rural areas because I love being close to nature. For example, I enjoy photographing coastal scenes and rivers, where the landscapes and water reflections create peaceful, dramatic images.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence and then explain with one or two specific reasons. Avoid trailing off at the end; finish your thought. Use linking words like “sometimes” and “other times” to contrast choices, and mention a concrete example of what you enjoy in each case.

示例: It depends on the time of year: sometimes I prefer staying in my country to enjoy familiar scenery and local festivals. Other times I travel abroad to experience different cultures and photograph new architecture and street life.

× I really like taking pictures, umm, to make like some memorable, uh, moments and uh, take a picture of them and then share in the Instagram or with my relatives.

✓ I really like taking pictures to create memorable moments, take pictures of them, and then share them on Instagram or with my relatives.

Problems: incorrect use of infinitive 'to make like some memorable' (awkward, 'create' + noun is natural), repetition and inconsistent verb forms, and incorrect preposition 'in the Instagram'. Suggestion: Use gerund/infinitive consistently: 'like taking pictures to create...' Use 'share them on Instagram' and avoid filler words like 'like' and unnecessary repetitions. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× and then share in the Instagram or with my relatives.

✓ and then share them on Instagram or with my relatives.

Use 'on' with platform names (on Instagram), and include the object 'them' after 'share'. Remove definite article 'the' before 'Instagram'. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× I prefer, uh, rural areas because I adore, uh, nature, umm, especially, uh, like with beautiful landscapes, umm, with water, like some rivers or ocean or sea, like either, uh, that places, that kind of places.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I adore nature, especially places with beautiful landscapes and bodies of water, such as rivers, the ocean, or the sea.

Problems: disfluent repetition, incorrect phrase order 'like with beautiful landscapes', and incorrect article usage 'ocean or sea' without 'the'. Suggestion: Streamline sentence, use 'places with' and 'such as' to list examples. Use 'the ocean' or 'the sea' when referring generally. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× like some rivers or ocean or sea, like either, uh, that places, that kind of places.

✓ such as rivers or the ocean or the sea; places like that.

Missing articles before 'ocean' and 'sea' and awkward phrasing 'like either, that places'. Suggestion: use 'the ocean'/'the sea' and rephrase to 'places like that' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 22

× It is depend on the time of the year.

✓ It depends on the time of year.

Present tense: subject 'It' with verb requires third person singular 'depends', not 'is depend'. Also 'the time of the year' is more naturally 'the time of year'. Suggestion: Use correct verb form 'depends' and omit unnecessary articles. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Like sometimes I like to stay in my country, enjoy, umm, everything that I see around me.

✓ Sometimes I like to stay in my country and enjoy everything I see around me.

Problem: missing connector between clauses and unnecessary filler. Suggestion: join with 'and' and remove filler 'umm'. Ensure verb forms parallel: 'like to stay' and 'enjoy'. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× And sometimes I like to change the atmosphere, uh, to visit different country to see, uh, like different people, culture and.

✓ Sometimes I like to change the atmosphere by visiting a different country to see different people and experience different cultures.

Problems: incorrect collocation 'change the atmosphere', missing article 'a different country', and incomplete list ending with 'and'. Suggestion: use 'by visiting' to show purpose, include articles, and use plural 'cultures' or complete the list. Remove filler words. Grammar problem type ID: 26