视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise; correct grammar and word choice, organize into a clear topic sentence plus 1–2 supporting details, and avoid unclear expressions. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "so") and accurate vocabulary (e.g., "scenery," "stressed" or "bored"). Keep to under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views, especially when I travel. For example, I like to sit by the window to capture landscapes, mountains, and rivers because the scenery makes me feel relaxed and calm. I also enjoy sharing these photos with friends and family so they can see the places I visit.

建议: Use correct tense and clearer comparisons; begin with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give specific reasons with linking words like "because" or "as a result." Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use precise vocabulary such as "fewer buildings," "open spaces," and "peaceful atmosphere."

示例: I prefer views in rural areas because they offer open spaces, fields, and fewer buildings. For instance, rural scenes with grass and trees feel more peaceful and photogenic than busy urban streets, so photos taken there look calmer and more pleasant.

建议: Correct word choice and clarity: start with a clear topic sentence ("I prefer views in other countries"), then give specific reasons using linking words ("because, for example, thus"). Avoid incorrect words like "abuse" or "thermometer" and use "abroad" and "memories". Limit to 2–3 supporting sentences with concrete examples.

示例: I prefer views in other countries because they are different from what I see at home and show local culture and traditions. For example, photographing a colorful market or historic architecture abroad creates vivid memories I can store on my phone and share with friends and family.

× Absolutely yes.

✓ Absolutely.

Using 'yes' after 'absolutely' is redundant because 'absolutely' already affirms. Use a single adverbial response like 'Absolutely.' or 'Yes.' to be concise.

× I really love taking picture of different scene especially when I'm traveling.

✓ I really love taking pictures of different scenes, especially when I'm traveling.

Plural nouns are required after 'pictures' and 'scenes' because 'different' implies more than one (see plural issue as well). Use the -ing form 'taking' is correct but the objects need plural forms and a comma before the adverbial phrase improves clarity.

× I want to sit down near the window so I can see the landscape, mountains, rivers outside.

✓ I want to sit down near the window so I can see the landscape, mountains, and rivers outside.

Missing coordinating conjunction 'and' before the final item in a list is a punctuation/conjunction issue; adding 'and' makes the list grammatically correct and clearer. Subject-verb agreement is fine; correction focuses on list coordination.

× It makes me feel relaxed and calm.

✓ It makes me feel relaxed and calm.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed; both adjectives properly describe the subject's feeling.

× It also helps me to not be boiled when traveling.

✓ It also helps me not to get stressed when traveling.

'Be boiled' is an incorrect and literal translation; use 'get stressed' or 'not feel stressed' to express emotional discomfort. Also, split infinitive 'to not be' is awkward—'not to get' or 'not to feel' is preferred.

× Also take your pictures.

✓ Also, I take pictures there.

Original fragment lacks clear subject and tense. Context implies the student takes pictures, so provide subject 'I' and present tense 'take' for consistency.

× I preferred views in rural areas.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas.

Question asks about current preference, so use present simple 'prefer' not past 'preferred.' Using past tense incorrectly changes the meaning.

× It is because there's a lot of landscape, you could see them, there's a lot of grass, trees and fewer houses or buildings.

✓ It's because there are a lot of landscapes; you can see a lot of grass and trees and fewer houses or buildings.

'There's' (there is) is singular; with plural nouns use 'there are.' Use 'can' instead of 'could' for present ability. 'Landscape' should be plural or rephrased as 'landscapes' or 'scenery.' Also combine clauses with appropriate punctuation for clarity.

× So it is better to have a picture there because you will see a more relaxing scenery than that or one areas or one areas is a busy place.

✓ So it's better to take a picture there because you'll see more relaxing scenery than in a busy area.

'A more relaxing scenery' is uncountable—use 'more relaxing scenery' or 'a more relaxing scene.' 'One areas' is ungrammatical; use 'a busy area.' Use contraction and 'take a picture' for natural phrasing.

× I prefer abuse in other countries, especially abroad.

✓ I prefer views in other countries, especially abroad.

'Abuse' is incorrect word choice; likely intended 'abroad' or 'views abroad.' Use 'prefer' present tense and correct noun 'views.'

× It is because it's not the usual view for me and I learn the diversity, culture and tradition through taking pictures.

✓ It's because the views are not the usual ones for me, and I learn about the diversity, culture, and traditions by taking pictures.

Clarify noun agreement ('views' plural), add 'about' after 'learn' for natural collocation, pluralize 'traditions,' and use 'by taking pictures' to indicate method.

× It will give me a lot of vivid memories when I have thermometer memories in my phone.

✓ It gives me vivid memories, which I keep on my phone.

'Thermometer memories' is incorrect word choice (likely a mis-speech). Use 'vivid memories' and express storing them 'on my phone.' Use present simple for habitual result.

× Also, I could share it to my loved ones show that.

✓ Also, I can share them with my loved ones to show them.

Use 'share with' not 'share to.' Match plural 'them' to 'memories/photos.' Use 'show them' to indicate demonstrating the pictures. Use 'can' for present ability instead of 'could' unless conditional.