视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be careful with grammar and word choice, keep sentences concise and natural, and add one linking phrase to clarify reasons. Specifically: use the correct verb form (“photograph” instead of “photography”), split long sentences into two, and add a linking word like “because” or “so” to connect ideas. Aim for clear topic sentence + one supporting detail, max 5 sentences.

示例: Yes, I do. When I travel, I often photograph landscapes such as mountains, beaches and city skylines because I like to share the scenery with my family. I also sometimes post my best shots on social media to show where I've been.

建议: Work on clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence stating preference, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Remove fragments and correct awkward phrases (e.g. “which helps me when I enjoy working” is unclear). Use plural/singular correctly and complete sentences.

示例: I grew up in the city, but I prefer views in rural areas because the countryside is much more peaceful and the air feels fresher. For example, I enjoy working outdoors among the trees while listening to birds, which helps me concentrate and relax.

建议: Mostly clear but fix subject-verb agreement and choose more precise vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example using linking words such as “however” or “for example.” Avoid vague phrases like “quiet chills” — choose clearer descriptions.

示例: I enjoy views both at home and abroad, but it depends on which landscape helps me relax. For example, I prefer rainy mountain scenery because the fresh air and gentle drizzle help me unwind and recharge after a busy week.

× When I travel, I often photography different views of and landscapes, for example mountains, beaches or city skylines because I like to share the scenery with my family.

✓ When I travel, I often photograph different views and landscapes, for example mountains, beaches, or city skylines, because I like to share the scenery with my family.

The student used the noun 'photography' where the base verb 'photograph' is required. This is a verb form error; use 'photograph' (verb) with the adverb 'often'. Also remove the extra 'of' and add commas for clarity. Suggestion: use the base verb for actions (I photograph) and check prepositions and punctuation.

× Sometimes I also post my best shots on social media to show where I've been.

✓ Sometimes I also post my best shots on social media to show where I have been.

This sentence is mostly correct but contains the contraction "I've" which is acceptable in speech; rewrite to 'I have' for clarity and formal register. No grammatical change to tense is necessary. Suggestion: choose full form in formal contexts.

× I grew up in the city but I prefer views in rural areas because the countryside is much more peaceful and the air feels fresher, which helps me when the for example, I enjoy working.

✓ I grew up in the city, but I prefer views in rural areas because the countryside is much more peaceful and the air feels fresher, which helps me when, for example, I am working.

This sentence has word order and extra words problems. 'when the for example, I enjoy working' is ungrammatical. Reorder to 'when, for example, I am working' to place the adverbial phrase correctly and use the present continuous 'am working' to express ongoing action. Suggestion: place 'for example' between commas and use appropriate verb forms for time clauses.

× Among the trees, listening to bird.

✓ I enjoy being among the trees, listening to birds.

This fragment lacks a subject and plural noun. Add 'I enjoy being' to provide a subject and verb, change 'bird' to plural 'birds' to match natural meaning, and keep the present participle 'listening' to describe simultaneous action. Suggestion: ensure every sentence has a subject and verb and match singular/plural nouns to context.

× I enjoy views both in my own country and abroad, but it depends on which landscape help me relax.

✓ I enjoy views both in my own country and abroad, but it depends on which landscape helps me relax.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'landscape' as singular requires 'helps'. If the meaning is plural, use 'landscapes help'. Choose singular or plural consistently. Suggestion: check that verbs agree with their subjects.

× For example, I prefer mountains in the rain because the fresh air and the quiet chills help me recharge after a busy week.

✓ For example, I prefer mountains in the rain because the fresh air and the quiet chill help me recharge after a busy week.

'Chills' is the wrong noun here; 'chill' (singular, meaning a feeling of coolness or calm) fits better and pairs with 'fresh air' as a singular concept. Alternatively, use 'quietness' or 'the quiet atmosphere'. Also 'mountains in the rain' is acceptable. Suggestion: choose precise nouns and ensure number (singular/plural) matches intended meaning.