视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'scene' or 'view' instead of 'sight', 'peaks' or 'hilltops' instead of 'queen of the hills') and verb forms ('I only take photos when...').

示例: I don’t usually take photos of views because I prefer to enjoy the scene with my own eyes. For example, when I see a clear blue sky or a line of trees, I like to soak it in rather than take a picture. However, I sometimes take photos to share with my family.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence stating preference and then provide specific reasons with linking words. Correct vocabulary and place names, avoid repetition and hesitations. For example, say 'rural areas' and give concrete imagery or comparisons to urban views.

示例: I prefer rural views because they offer peaceful natural scenery and cleaner air. For instance, I like wide fields, distant hilltops, and unbroken blue skies, whereas urban views often include traffic, tall buildings, and constant noise.

建议: Begin with a clear answer (preference), then explain with specific reasons and examples. Avoid unclear phrases and repetitions; use linking words (for example, however, because). Correct grammar (e.g., 'I currently live', 'Vietnam is relatively small').

示例: I would like to see views in other countries because they offer different landscapes and cultures. For example, I enjoy the coastal scenery of Vietnam, but I also want to visit mountains in Nepal or historic cityscapes in Europe to experience new types of views.

× Not actually because I want to enjoy the real views in front of my my eyes, because I want to see the real sight, like the trees, the queen of the hills or the blue of the sky.

✓ Not really, because I want to enjoy the real views in front of my eyes; I want to see the actual sights, like the trees, the green hills, or the blue sky.

The speaker repeated 'my' (redundant pronoun) and used 'real sight' which is awkward; 'sight' should be plural 'sights' and 'queen of the hills' seems to be an incorrect lexical choice—likely 'green hills'. Use 'not really' instead of 'not actually' for spoken preference. Combine clauses for clarity. Suggestions: remove duplicate words, match singular/plural (sights), choose correct nouns (hills, sky), and use smoother spoken phrase 'not really'.

× Not just in the photograph.

✓ Not just in photographs.

The noun should be plural 'photographs' to refer generally to photos. 'In the photograph' is singular and sounds specific; the speaker means photos in general. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements.

× I just I only capture when I have to send to my mom.

✓ I only take pictures when I have to send them to my mom.

Redundant words 'I just I' should be removed; 'capture' is acceptable but 'take pictures' is more natural. The verb needs an object 'them' to refer to pictures, and 'have to send to my mom' requires the object after 'send'. Suggestion: remove repetition, use natural verb phrase, include pronoun for object.

× Absolutely. I really love the views in rural areas because I enjoy the nature, the real nature.

✓ Absolutely. I really love the views in rural areas because I enjoy nature, real nature.

'The nature' is incorrect; 'nature' is usually uncountable and used without 'the' when speaking generally. Repeating 'the real nature' is redundant; 'real nature' is sufficient. Suggestion: omit the definite article before uncountable nouns used generally.

× You know that I love the queen of the valet or I love the blue of the sky without any house and buildings because, umm, the views in Auburn is very good to very beautiful, but it's, uh, it, it reminds me of very noisy and a fast-paced lifestyle.

✓ You know I love the quiet valleys, or I love the blue sky without any houses or buildings because, um, the views in urban areas are beautiful, but they remind me of a very noisy and fast-paced lifestyle.

Many errors: 'queen of the valet' is likely a mispronunciation of 'quiet valley' or 'green valley'; 'blue of the sky' should be 'blue sky'; 'house and buildings' should be 'houses or buildings'; 'Auburn' likely 'urban'; subject-verb agreement: 'views in urban areas are'; 'it reminds me of very noisy' needs 'they remind me of a very noisy and fast-paced lifestyle'. Suggestion: choose correct vocabulary, ensure plural forms and subject-verb agreement, and remove stuttering repetition.

× All the countries absolutely because I'm living currently live in Ho Chi Minh City and I I want to say that I also had a chance to visit other cities and regions but the view just like in normal cause Vietnam is quite small.

✓ All countries, absolutely, because I currently live in Ho Chi Minh City, and I want to say that I have also had a chance to visit other cities and regions, but the views are similar because Vietnam is quite small.

Problems: redundant 'living currently live'; tense consistency—use present perfect 'have had' for past experiences connected to present; 'the view just like in normal' is unclear—corrected to 'the views are similar'; subject-verb agreement 'views are'. Suggestion: remove repetition, use present perfect for life experiences, and make the comparative meaning clear.

× But I want to expand my my my site to other countries and views very beautiful and different.

✓ But I want to expand my sights to other countries and see views that are very beautiful and different.

Repeated 'my' is redundant; 'site' is incorrect word—should be 'sight' or better 'sights' meaning what one has seen; sentence structure missing verbs: add 'see' and a relative clause 'that are'. Suggestion: remove repeated words, use correct noun 'sights', include a verb and relative clause for clarity.