视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 답변은 긍정적으로 시작했지만 문장이 불명확하고 반복이 많습니다. 먼저 주제문으로 간결하게 답을 제시하고, 그 다음에 이유나 구체적 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(예: because, so, for example)를 사용해 논리를 명확히 하고, 문법적 오류(어순, 시제, 관사 등)를 바로잡으세요. 예: “Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because it helps me remember places I’ve visited. For example, I often photograph mountains and cityscapes during my travels.”

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because it helps me remember special moments. For example, when I visit a park I like to photograph the trees and flowers to look back on later.

建议: 의사표현은 되었지만 단어 선택과 발음 오타(‘Lular’ → ‘rural’, ‘lever’?)로 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 간결한 주제문(‘I prefer rural areas.’)으로 시작하고, 이유를 구체적으로 제시하세요(예: peaceful atmosphere, fresh air, scenery). 연결어(‘because’, ‘for example’)를 사용하고 불필요한 반복을 피하세요.

示例: I prefer rural areas because I enjoy peaceful natural scenery and fresh air. For example, I like photographing mountains, rivers, and trees when I visit the countryside.

建议: 아이디어는 좋지만 문장이 어색하고 논리 전개가 혼란스럽습니다. 먼저 명확한 주제문으로 시작하세요(‘I prefer views in other countries.’). 그 후 이유를 1~2개로 구체화하고 예시를 들면 좋습니다. 불필요한 단어(‘more Country’)와 반복을 줄이고 문법(관사, 어순)을 교정하세요.

示例: I prefer views in other countries because I want to experience different cultures and landscapes. For instance, I would love to see historical cities in Europe and tropical beaches in Southeast Asia.

× Oh yes, actually my favorite thing in my free time is taking a picture.

✓ Oh yes, actually my favorite thing to do in my free time is taking pictures.

The student used 'taking a picture' which is awkward and mismatched with 'favorite thing'. Use the infinitive structure 'favorite thing to do' and plural 'pictures' for general habit. Suggestion: Say 'my favorite thing to do in my free time is taking pictures.'

× And taking a picture is also my habit too, because I want to.

✓ Taking pictures is also a habit of mine because I enjoy it.

Redundant words 'also' and 'too' create awkwardness; 'my habit' is unnatural in English. 'Because I want to' is vague; use 'because I enjoy it.' Suggestion: Use 'Taking pictures is a habit of mine because I enjoy it.'

× Remember the view of beautiful.

✓ I remember beautiful views.

The original is ungrammatical: 'Remember the view of beautiful' has wrong word order and form. Use subject-verb 'I remember' and plural 'views' for general memory. Suggestion: Say 'I remember beautiful views.'

× Oh, I think I I prefer Lular area.

✓ Oh, I think I prefer rural areas.

Spelling error 'Lular' should be 'rural'. Also duplicate 'I I' is a repetition. Use plural 'rural areas' for general preference. Suggestion: Say 'I think I prefer rural areas.'

× I like the natural thing like tree, mountain and lever like that thing.

✓ I like natural things like trees, mountains, and rivers.

Use plural nouns for general items: 'trees, mountains.' 'Lever' is incorrect word; likely 'river'. Avoid 'like that thing' which is vague. Suggestion: Say 'I like natural things like trees, mountains, and rivers.'

× So I prefer Lular more.

✓ So I prefer rural areas more.

Again misspelling 'Lular' should be 'rural'. Use 'rural areas' and 'prefer... more' is acceptable but 'prefer rural areas' is sufficient. Suggestion: Say 'So I prefer rural areas.'

× I prefer the other country because in my country Korea is more.

✓ I prefer other countries because there are many people in my country, Korea.

Original is confusing: 'the other country' and 'Korea is more' are unclear. Likely intended meaning: prefers other countries because Korea is more crowded. Use 'other countries' plural and explain 'there are many people in my country.' Suggestion: Say 'I prefer other countries because my country, Korea, is very crowded.'

× Country, so I want to travel the whole world and I want to see the beautiful view around the world.

✓ So I want to travel the world and see beautiful views around the globe.

Fragment 'Country,' is leftover. 'Whole world' is acceptable but 'around the world' repeated; condense to 'travel the world and see beautiful views around the globe.' Use plural 'views.' Suggestion: Say 'So I want to travel the world and see beautiful views around the globe.'