唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is heartfelt and shows your passion, but it can be more concise and natural. Avoid repeating similar ideas and try to use linking words to connect your points smoothly. For example, instead of saying "I don't only like singing, I love singing. I love to sing," you can say "I love singing because it helps me express my feelings and relax, especially in crowded places."

示例: I love singing because it helps me express my feelings and relax, especially when I am in crowded places. It makes me feel warm and comfortable.

建议: Your answer provides relevant information but lacks clarity and coherence. Try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, and avoid short, disconnected sentences. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

示例: Yes, I learned how to sing in a music class about a year ago. It was a wonderful experience because I learned many new techniques and enjoyed every moment of the class.

建议: Your answer is sincere and clear, but it can be improved by making it more concise and using linking words to connect your ideas. Also, try to avoid redundancy such as "for my mom, for my parents."

示例: I want to sing for the world, but especially for my parents because they mean everything to me. I would love to create a beautiful song dedicated to them.

建议: Your answer conveys your opinion well, but it can be more natural and coherent. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid vague phrases like "everybody feels like home." Instead, explain how singing creates happiness with specific reasons.

示例: Absolutely, singing can bring happiness to many people. In our busy lives, singing allows us to relax and feel connected with others, creating a warm and joyful atmosphere.

× I don't only like singing, I love singing.

✓ I don't just like singing, I love singing.

The phrase 'don't only like' is awkward and incorrect in this context. The correct quantifier to express exclusivity here is 'just'. So, 'I don't just like singing' is the proper usage.

× It helps me to express my feelings to other people.

✓ It helps me to express my feelings to other people.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.

× It helps me to relax and be comfortable around the crowded places.

✓ It helps me to relax and be comfortable in crowded places.

The preposition 'around' is incorrect here. We use 'in' to indicate being inside or within a place. Also, 'the crowded places' is too general; 'crowded places' without 'the' is more natural.

× I feel the warmth.

✓ I feel warmth.

The phrase 'the warmth' is vague here and unnecessary. 'I feel warmth' is more natural and grammatically correct in this context.

× I have got my music Class A year ago.

✓ I took my music Class A a year ago.

The phrase 'have got' is incorrect for expressing a past event with a specific time. The simple past tense 'took' is appropriate here. Also, 'a year ago' requires simple past tense.

× Wholesome moment.

✓ It was a wholesome moment.

This is a sentence fragment lacking a verb. Adding 'It was' completes the sentence properly.

× because they are the one for whom I am living

✓ because they are the ones for whom I am living

The subject 'they' is plural, so the predicate should be plural as well. 'One' should be changed to 'ones' to agree in number.

× because they are the one for whom I am living

✓ because they are the ones for whom I am living

The pronoun 'whom' is correctly used here as the object of the preposition 'for'. No correction needed for pronoun usage beyond number agreement.

× It can bring happiness to many people.

✓ It can bring happiness to many people.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× We live in the world where most of them are very busy in their life.

✓ We live in a world where most people are very busy with their lives.

The phrase 'most of them' is unclear and incorrect here. 'Most people' is appropriate. Also, 'in their life' should be 'with their lives' to express busyness properly.

× But if we get chance to sing or if someone is singing, then everybody feels like home.

✓ But if we get a chance to sing or if someone is singing, then everybody feels at home.

The phrase 'get chance' needs the article 'a'. Also, the expression is 'feel at home', not 'feel like home'.