唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like repeating 'voice' and try to use more natural expressions such as 'too bold' could be replaced with 'too loud' or 'harsh'. Also, try to keep your answer within 2-3 sentences for effectiveness.

示例: No, I don't like singing because I think my voice is too loud and not very pleasant to listen to.

建议: Your answer is a bit long and unclear. Try to respond directly with a topic sentence and then add supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and incomplete sentences. Also, clarify your current feelings about singing.

示例: Yes, I learned to sing about six years ago when I was a child because I wanted to become a singer. However, I don't practice singing much now.

建议: Your answer is heartfelt but could be more concise and natural. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, try to use simpler expressions like 'special gift' instead of 'precious gift from God' for naturalness.

示例: I want to sing a song for my mother's birthday because she is a special gift to me, and I believe it will make her feel happy and peaceful.

建议: Your answer addresses the question but could be clearer and more coherent. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast ideas and avoid repetition. Also, try to use more natural phrases such as 'lift their mood' instead of 'uplift her or his mood'.

示例: I think singing can bring happiness to some people because it can lift their mood. However, others might find it annoying and prefer not to sing.

× No, I don't like singing because I don't like my voice as it is too bold and it is not melodious voice.

✓ No, I don't like singing because I don't like my voice as it is too loud and not melodious.

The adjective 'bold' is incorrectly used to describe the voice; 'loud' is more appropriate. Also, 'it is not melodious voice' is incorrect because 'voice' is repeated unnecessarily and the structure is awkward. The corrected sentence removes the redundant 'voice' and uses 'not melodious' as an adjective phrase.

× Umm, if I can vividly remember, it was the time about six years back when I was a younger child.

✓ Umm, if I can vividly remember, it was about six years ago when I was a younger child.

The phrase 'about six years back' is less standard than 'about six years ago' when referring to a past time. Using 'ago' is the correct way to express time elapsed from the present in past tense contexts.

× Well, I want to sing a song for my mother's birthday as I think my mother is the precious gift from God to me and she will feel really peaceful, uh, if I will sing for her.

✓ Well, I want to sing a song for my mother's birthday because I think my mother is a precious gift from God to me and she will feel really peaceful if I sing for her.

The conjunction 'as' is better replaced with 'because' to express reason clearly. Also, 'the precious gift' should be 'a precious gift' because it is a general statement, not a unique known entity. Additionally, 'if I will sing' is incorrect; the correct form is 'if I sing' because in conditional sentences, the present tense is used after 'if' to refer to future events.

× No, not for all, but to some it can bring happiness as I think if someone thinks it can uplift her or his mood in a different way.

✓ No, not for everyone, but for some it can bring happiness because I think if someone believes it can uplift their mood in a different way.

The phrase 'not for all' is better expressed as 'not for everyone'. The preposition 'to some' should be 'for some'. Also, 'her or his' is awkward; using the singular 'their' is acceptable and more natural in modern English. 'Thinks' is better replaced with 'believes' for clarity.

× But some for some it is a irritating thing and they don't like to do this.

✓ But for some, it is an irritating thing and they don't like to do it.

The phrase 'some for some' is redundant and incorrect; it should be 'for some'. The article 'a' before 'irritating' is incorrect because 'irritating' starts with a vowel sound, so 'an' is correct. Also, 'do this' is better replaced with 'do it' to refer back to singing more naturally.