唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer has some good ideas but contains several language errors and unclear phrases, such as 'seeing' instead of 'singing' and 'seeing a candles'. To improve, focus on using correct vocabulary and clearer sentence structures. Also, try to provide a direct topic sentence followed by specific supporting details, using linking words to connect your ideas logically.

示例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me relax and express my emotions. Moreover, singing can be a social activity that strengthens our connections with others, making it a meaningful way to spend free time.

建议: Your response is understandable but has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing, such as 'singing is kind of natural of humans' and 'you can do things as you born'. To improve, use correct grammar and clearer expressions. Start with a direct answer, then explain your opinion with supporting details and linking words.

示例: No, I have never formally learned how to sing. However, I believe singing is a natural ability for humans, something we can do instinctively from birth without formal training.

建议: Your answer is quite unclear and contains many grammatical errors and confusing phrases. To improve, try to give a clear and direct response, specifying who you would like to sing for and why. Use linking words to organise your ideas and avoid redundancy.

示例: I would like to sing for people affected by war and poverty, to offer them comfort and hope. Additionally, I would sing for workers who build our communities, to appreciate their hard work and dedication.

建议: Your answer shows good ideas but is affected by language errors and unclear expressions like 'seeing the self' and 'strengthen our exciting'. To improve, use correct vocabulary and grammar, and structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details connected with linking words.

示例: Of course, singing is enjoyable and can bring happiness to people. Furthermore, it allows us to express our emotions, share love, and strengthen our connections with others.

× Yes, I think seeing is a great way to relax and to spend the spare time.

✓ Yes, I think singing is a great way to relax and to spend spare time.

The word 'seeing' is incorrect here; the correct verb form is 'singing' to match the context of the question. Also, 'the spare time' should be 'spare time' as it is an uncountable noun and does not require the definite article.

× It also relates our feelings, seeing a candles, a social method for us to build up our connections with other people.

✓ It also relates to our feelings, singing songs, a social method for us to build up our connections with other people.

The verb 'relates' requires the preposition 'to' when indicating connection. 'Seeing a candles' is incorrect; it should be 'singing songs' to fit the context. Also, 'a candles' is incorrect because 'candles' is plural and should not have the article 'a'.

× Unfortunately I never learned to sing a song before I but I think singing is kind of natural of humans.

✓ Unfortunately, I have never learned to sing a song before, but I think singing is kind of natural for humans.

The sentence is missing punctuation and has awkward phrasing. 'Never learned' is better expressed as 'have never learned' to indicate experience up to now. 'Natural of humans' should be 'natural for humans' to use the correct preposition.

× You don't need to do it, you can do things as you born.

✓ You don't need to do it; you can do it as you are born.

The phrase 'as you born' is incorrect; it should be 'as you are born' to form the correct present tense passive structure. Also, 'do things' is vague; 'do it' refers better to singing.

× There's a lot of people that like to sing for, for the people under the threatening of the wars, for the people poor to support their life and for people to build up our buildings, to work hard to make our our my life.

✓ There are a lot of people to sing for: for the people under the threat of wars, for poor people to support their lives, and for people who build up our buildings, working hard to make their lives better.

'There's' is singular and should be 'There are' for plural 'a lot of people'. 'Threatening of the wars' is incorrect; it should be 'threat of wars'. 'People poor' should be 'poor people'. 'Support their life' should be 'support their lives' to agree in number. The sentence is also restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× to work hard to make our our my life.

✓ to work hard to make our lives better.

The phrase 'our our my life' is confusing and incorrect. It should be 'our lives' to agree in number and possessive pronoun usage.

× Of course, seeing the self is a fun thing to do for people, but also singing the song can be a mean to experience our feelings and convey our love our strengthen our exciting to others.

✓ Of course, singing itself is a fun thing to do for people, but also singing songs can be a means to experience our feelings, convey our love, and strengthen our excitement to others.

'Seeing the self' is incorrect; it should be 'singing itself'. 'A mean' should be 'a means'. The sentence also needs commas and conjunctions to separate ideas properly. 'Strengthen our exciting' is incorrect; it should be 'strengthen our excitement'.