唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Tapai ko uttar natural cha tara kehi thulo sentence haru cha jun lai chhoto ra spashta banau. Tapai le apno opinion ra anubhav ramro sanga vyakt garnu bhako cha, tara thap specific details ra linking words prayog garnu parcha jasto cha.

示例: I don't like singing because I am not confident about my voice. For example, when I tried singing in college, I felt uncomfortable. However, I enjoy listening to music and admire talented singers.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma grammar ra clarity ma kehi samasya cha. Sentence haru ramro sanga jodne linking words prayog garnu parcha ra repetition hataunu parcha. English ma sentence haru spashta ra sanga jodne banau.

示例: Yes, I tried learning to sing when I was around 10 or 12 years old. My elder sister taught me singing and dancing. However, I stopped because my friends did not like my voice, which made me lose confidence.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma thap clarity ra coherence chahinchha. Linking words prayog garera sentence haru ramro sanga jodne ra thap specific details dinu parcha. English ma sentence haru natural ra prabhavshali banau.

示例: If I were to sing, I would sing for myself when I am alone. For instance, I often hum songs to feel relaxed and happy when no one is around.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma repetition ra grammar ko samasya cha. Tapai le bistarit ra specific kura haru bhannu bhayeko cha, tara linking words ra sentence structure ma sudhar garnu parcha.

示例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because it helps release inner thoughts and pain. In this way, singing acts like medicine for the mind and soul.

× Yes, once I had tried singing in when I was 10 or 12.

✓ Yes, once I tried singing when I was 10 or 12.

The past perfect tense 'had tried' is unnecessary here because the sentence refers to a simple past event without another past event preceding it. Use simple past 'tried' to indicate a completed action in the past.

× My elder sister taught me to altogether taught me to sing and dance.

✓ My elder sister taught me altogether to sing and dance.

The original sentence has redundant and misplaced words causing confusion. 'Altogether' should be placed before the infinitive phrase to modify it properly, and 'taught me' should not be repeated.

× But I I I didn't want it to do because already my friends didn't like my voice.

✓ But I didn't want to do it because my friends already didn't like my voice.

The sentence has repeated words and incorrect word order. 'I I I' is a repetition error, and 'want it to do' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'want to do it'. Also, 'already' should be placed before 'didn't like' for clarity.

× If I were to sing, I will sing for myself when there is no one and it's for me.

✓ If I were to sing, I would sing for myself when there is no one else and it's just for me.

In conditional sentences with 'If I were to', the main clause should use 'would' instead of 'will' to express hypothetical situations.

× Just like when I am listening to say I can make some humming sound for myself to feel myself good.

✓ Just like when I am listening, I can make some humming sounds for myself to feel good.

The phrase 'to feel myself good' is incorrect; 'feel good' is the correct expression. Also, 'some humming sound' should be plural 'some humming sounds' to indicate multiple sounds.

× Yes, I yes, I believe singing a song can be very useful because it this brings happiness.

✓ Yes, I believe singing a song can be very useful because it brings happiness.

The sentence has repeated words 'I yes, I' and redundant 'it this'. Removing the repetitions clarifies the sentence.

× It is a way of releasing out of the of your inner thoughts and your inner pain outside.

✓ It is a way of releasing your inner thoughts and inner pain outside.

The phrase 'releasing out of the of' is incorrect and redundant. 'Releasing your inner thoughts and inner pain outside' is the correct form.

× So it's very good useful.

✓ So it's very useful.

The phrase 'very good useful' is incorrect because 'good' and 'useful' are both adjectives; only one adjective is needed here. 'Very useful' is correct.