巧克力— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer shows enthusiasm but needs to be clearer and more concise. Avoid redundancy like "I love I like" and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and provide specific reasons why you like Dairy Milk chocolate.

示例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it is sweet and creamy. My favourite is Dairy Milk, which is popular in India and made mostly from milk. I enjoy it occasionally because it tastes rich but I try not to eat too much.

建议: Your answer is unclear and lacks coherence. Try to directly answer the question with a clear frequency and reason. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases. Be specific about when you eat chocolate.

示例: I don't eat chocolate very often because I know it can have some negative effects on health. However, I usually enjoy it twice a month, especially during special occasions like my birthday or my friends' birthdays.

建议: Your answer is somewhat confusing and repetitive. Focus on giving a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use correct tense and linking words to improve clarity. Avoid unrelated or unclear phrases like "occasional vegetable."

示例: No, I did not eat chocolate often as a child because my parents were concerned about its negative effects. They usually did not allow me to eat it, but sometimes I had chocolate on special occasions.

建议: Your answer lacks clarity and coherence. Try to directly answer the question with clear reasons why chocolate is popular globally. Use linking words and specific examples to support your opinion.

示例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because many people enjoy its sweet taste. Additionally, it is often shared during celebrations, which makes it a symbol of happiness and friendship.

建议: Your answer is unclear and contains many incomplete sentences. Focus on giving a clear topic sentence and specific details about your favourite flavour. Avoid confusing phrases and use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is coconut, especially the one made by Dairy Milk. It is affordable and has a creamy filling inside small balls, which makes it taste delicious and different from other chocolates.

建议: Your answer is difficult to understand and incomplete. Try to clearly express your opinion with reasons why chocolate is a good gift. Use linking words and avoid vague or unrelated phrases.

示例: Yes, I think chocolate is a good gift because it shows love and appreciation. Many people enjoy receiving chocolate, and it can help strengthen relationships when shared.

× I love I like eating chocolate because it's a so sweet and my favorite chocolate is the Dairy Milk.

✓ I love eating chocolate because it's so sweet and my favorite chocolate is Dairy Milk.

The phrase 'a so sweet' is incorrect because 'so' is an adverb modifying the adjective 'sweet' and does not require the article 'a'. Also, 'I love I like' is redundant; only one verb is needed.

× It is so popular in India and it's almost based on the milk and dairy products.

✓ It is so popular in India and it's mostly made from milk and dairy products.

The phrase 'based on the milk and dairy products' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'made from' when referring to ingredients.

× So that's why I love like to eat chocolate, but not too much.

✓ So that's why I like to eat chocolate, but not too much.

The phrase 'I love like to eat' is incorrect; only one verb should be used to express preference.

× Some occasionally I like to catch up.

✓ Occasionally, I like to catch up.

The adverb 'occasionally' should be placed before the verb or at the beginning of the sentence for clarity.

× I don't like the chocolate too much because I know about that some negative effects on them if and on the body.

✓ I don't like chocolate too much because I know there are some negative effects on the body.

The phrase 'some negative effects on them if and on the body' is unclear and incorrect; 'there are some negative effects on the body' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× But sometime I like to eat the chocolate like in a bit twice because on the some batch locations.

✓ But sometimes I like to eat chocolate a bit, maybe twice, because of some batch locations.

The word 'sometime' should be 'sometimes' to indicate frequency; 'in a bit twice' is unclear and corrected to 'a bit, maybe twice'; 'on the some batch locations' is unclear and corrected to 'because of some batch locations'.

× I also like my friends birthday on my birthday.

✓ I also like my friend's birthday and my birthday.

The phrase 'like my friends birthday on my birthday' is unclear; possessive form 'friend's' is needed and 'and' connects the two birthdays.

× No, I don't like I did not like food but chocolate when I was, well when I was child because my parents already gave up and we tend to eat any chocolate because they know about the negative effects of the chocolate so that's why they don't allow to meet the chocolate.

✓ No, I did not like chocolate when I was a child because my parents had already given up and we tended not to eat any chocolate because they knew about the negative effects of chocolate, so that's why they didn't allow me to eat chocolate.

The sentence has multiple tense errors: 'don't like' should be past tense 'did not like'; 'when I was child' needs article 'a'; 'already gave up' should be past perfect 'had already given up'; 'we tend to eat' should be past tense 'we tended not to eat'; 'they know' should be past 'they knew'; 'don't allow to meet' is incorrect, corrected to 'didn't allow me to eat'.

× But sometime I'll actually eat the chocolate on some occasional vegetable or something.

✓ But sometimes I'll actually eat chocolate on some occasional occasions or something.

The phrase 'some occasional vegetable' is incorrect and unclear; 'some occasional occasions' is more appropriate though still awkward; 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'.

× I don't have anything but more regarding the chocolate, but uh, according to the chocolate candy or sweet, which people like, most of people like eating food.

✓ I don't have much to say about chocolate, but according to chocolate candy or sweets, most people like eating them.

The phrase 'I don't have anything but more regarding the chocolate' is awkward; 'much to say' is better. 'Most of people' should be 'most people'. 'Like eating food' is vague; 'like eating them' refers to sweets.

× So that's why the only is more popular in the world.

✓ So that's why it is more popular in the world.

The phrase 'the only is more popular' is incorrect; 'it is more popular' correctly refers to chocolate.

× And also it's a better thing to sometime like add in the idea when we're when we're gonna share some.

✓ And also it's better sometimes to add the idea when we're going to share some.

The phrase 'to sometime like add in the idea' is awkward; 'sometimes to add the idea' is clearer. 'Gonna' is informal; 'going to' is preferred.

× My favorite flavour of chocolate if you have coconut chocolate flavour actually made by the Dairy Milk.

✓ My favorite flavour of chocolate is coconut chocolate flavour actually made by Dairy Milk.

The phrase 'if you have' is incorrect here; 'is' correctly links subject and complement. 'The Dairy Milk' should be 'Dairy Milk'.

× It's it's almost so it's affordable for me and what anyway, And it's it's a little bit lengthy as compared to other two like 3.

✓ It's almost affordable for me anyway, and it's a little bit larger compared to the other two, like three.

The phrase 'it's almost so it's affordable' is redundant; 'almost affordable' suffices. 'Lengthy' is incorrect for size; 'larger' is appropriate. 'Other two like 3' is unclear; clarified as 'other two, like three'.

× It's a little bit and also we have a cream inside that balls.

✓ It's a little bit bigger and also has cream inside those balls.

The phrase 'It's a little bit' is incomplete; 'bigger' clarifies. 'We have a cream inside that balls' is incorrect; 'has cream inside those balls' is correct.

× It's like in the shape of broth.

✓ It's shaped like a broth ball.

The phrase 'in the shape of broth' is unclear; 'shaped like a broth ball' clarifies the meaning.

× Yeah, according to me, it's a best way to work back then some loving love to by the regarding to other because we see in there's so many adds to like if we give a chocolate, it will be initiative bonding and also.

✓ Yes, according to me, it's the best way to show love to others because we see in many ads that if we give chocolate, it initiates bonding.

The phrase 'a best way' should be 'the best way' (article error). 'Work back then some loving love to by the regarding to other' is unclear and corrected to 'show love to others'. 'Adds' should be 'ads'. 'It will be initiative bonding' corrected to 'it initiates bonding' for correct verb usage.