零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Cevabınızda zaman ifadesi ve neden-sonuç ilişkisi var ancak cümle yapısı biraz karışık ve doğal değil. Daha akıcı ve doğal bir İngilizce kullanımı için cümlenizi basit ve doğrudan yapmalısınız.

示例: I usually don't eat snacks now because I have gained a lot of weight in the last two months.

建议: Cümlenizde bazı kelime hataları ve dilbilgisi sorunları var. 'Conservatives' yerine 'preservatives' kullanılmalı ve cümle yapısı daha doğal olmalı. Ayrıca bağlaçlar daha etkili kullanılabilir.

示例: I think snacks contain many unhealthy chemicals like preservatives, and eating them over a long period can harm the human body.

建议: Cümleniz biraz karışık ve doğal değil. 'Fast chips' ifadesi yanlış, 'potato chips' daha doğru olur. Ayrıca zaman ifadesi daha net olmalı ve cümleler daha akıcı olmalı.

示例: Yes, I often ate my favorite snacks like potato chips and Snickers chocolate about once every two days when I was young.

建议: Cümlenizde 'sneaker bars' ifadesi yanlış, doğrusu 'Snickers bars' olmalı. Ayrıca, cevap daha doğal ve akıcı olabilir, önce doğrudan cevap verip sonra detay ekleyebilirsiniz.

示例: I like to eat potato chips and Snickers bars, which I mentioned earlier.

× Since I gained lots of weight in last two months, I stopped eating snacks now.

✓ Since I have gained lots of weight in the last two months, I have stopped eating snacks now.

The sentence mixes past simple tense with the adverb 'now', which indicates present relevance. The present perfect tense ('have gained', 'have stopped') is appropriate to express actions that started in the past and continue to the present. Also, 'the last two months' requires the definite article 'the'.

× They have lots of unhealthy chemicals such as conservatives and I believe in long term period using them causes harm to human body.

✓ They have lots of unhealthy chemicals such as preservatives, and I believe that using them over a long period causes harm to the human body.

The word 'conservatives' is incorrect; the correct term is 'preservatives'. The phrase 'in long term period' is incorrect; it should be 'over a long period'. Also, 'I believe in long term period using them causes harm' is awkward; adding 'that' clarifies the sentence. 'Human body' needs the definite article 'the'.

× Yes I did my favorite fast chips and Snickers as chocolate and I was eating them like once in 2 days.

✓ Yes, I used to eat my favorite fast food chips and Snickers chocolate, and I ate them about once every two days.

The phrase 'I did my favorite fast chips' is incorrect; 'used to eat' is appropriate for past habitual actions. 'Snickers as chocolate' is awkward; 'Snickers chocolate' is better. 'I was eating them like once in 2 days' is incorrect; 'I ate them about once every two days' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× As I mentioned in previous question, I used to like to eat potato chips and sneaker bars.

✓ As I mentioned in the previous question, I used to like to eat potato chips and Snickers bars.

The phrase 'in previous question' requires the definite article 'the'. 'Sneaker bars' is a misspelling; the correct brand name is 'Snickers bars'.