零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer more clear and concise. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and 'uh'. Start with a clear topic sentence and then add a reason using linking words such as 'because' or 'when'. For example, you can say, 'I usually eat snacks when I watch TV series because it makes the experience more enjoyable.'

示例: I usually eat snacks when I watch TV series because it makes the experience more enjoyable and relaxing.

建议: Your answer should be more structured and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'however' or 'although' to connect ideas. Also, try to be specific about why eating snacks continuously is unhealthy. For example, 'I don't think eating snacks continuously is healthy because it can lead to weight gain; however, having snacks occasionally can make us happy.'

示例: I don't think eating snacks continuously is healthy because it can cause weight gain; however, having snacks occasionally can make us happy.

建议: Try to complete your sentences and avoid trailing off. Use linking words like 'because' to explain reasons clearly. For example, 'Yes, I often ate snacks like biscuits and cakes when I was young because my family and relatives frequently bought them for me.'

示例: Yes, I often ate snacks like biscuits and cakes when I was young because my family and relatives frequently bought them for me.

建议: Avoid filler words and be more specific with your vocabulary. Instead of 'leaves', you might mean 'lays' (a brand of potato chips). Use linking words like 'also' to connect ideas smoothly. For example, 'I especially love different types and flavors of cakes because they are sweet and tasty. I also enjoy eating Lay's potato chips because they have a great flavor.'

示例: I especially love different types and flavors of cakes because they are sweet and tasty. I also enjoy eating Lay's potato chips because they have a great flavor.

× I usually eat snacks when I'm watching a, a TV series or shows, umm, umm, when uh, I see uh, those series, uh, snacks, uh, helps them to be become more entertaining and uh, eat uh, snacks almost.

✓ I usually eat snacks when I'm watching a TV series or shows because snacks help make them more entertaining and I almost always eat snacks.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'helps them to be become' which is grammatically incorrect. The verb 'help' should be followed by the base form of the verb without 'to be become'. Also, 'eat snacks almost' is incomplete and unclear; it is corrected to 'I almost always eat snacks' to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× No, I do not think it is healthy for me to eat snack continuously.

✓ No, I do not think it is healthy for me to eat snacks continuously.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to eating multiple instances or types of snacks continuously, not a single snack.

× Uh, but uh, we can eat snacks on, on, uh, and eating snacks always is not very healthy, uh, option, but uh, it will make us happy.

✓ But we can eat snacks sometimes, and eating snacks all the time is not a very healthy option, but it will make us happy.

The preposition 'on, on' is incorrect and unclear here. It is replaced with 'sometimes' to indicate occasional eating. Also, 'eating snacks always' is awkward; 'eating snacks all the time' is more natural. The article 'a' is added before 'very healthy option' for correctness.

× Yes, I often like to eat snacks like biscuits and cakes uh, when I was young, uh, because most of the time, uh, relatives and my family, he bought snacks uh, and gave them to me.

✓ Yes, I often liked to eat snacks like biscuits and cakes when I was young because most of the time, my relatives and family bought snacks and gave them to me.

The verb 'like' should be in past tense 'liked' to match the past time frame 'when I was young'. Also, 'he bought' is incorrect because 'relatives and my family' is plural; it should be 'bought' without 'he'.

× So uh, I used.

✓ So, I used to eat them.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a verb and object. Adding 'to eat them' completes the sentence and clarifies the meaning.

× I especially love cakes, uh, different types of and flavors of cakes, uh, because cakes are very sweet and tasty.

✓ I especially love cakes of different types and flavors because cakes are very sweet and tasty.

The phrase 'different types of and flavors of cakes' is awkward. It is corrected to 'cakes of different types and flavors' for proper plural usage and clearer meaning.

× I also like to have leaves and other potato chips because it is also very tasty.

✓ I also like to have lays and other potato chips because they are also very tasty.

The word 'leaves' is incorrect; it should be 'lays' (a brand of potato chips) or 'chips'. Also, 'it is' should be 'they are' to agree with the plural subject 'lays and other potato chips'.