零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and redundant phrases such as 'I prefer like to eat a some biscuits'. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words for coherence.

示例: I usually eat snacks on Saturday evenings when I feel a bit hungry because I need energy for other activities. Therefore, I prefer to eat biscuits or chips as a quick source of energy.

建议: Improve clarity by using correct vocabulary and grammar, and organise your answer with linking words. Avoid vague phrases like 'palm awhile' and be specific about why snacks are unhealthy.

示例: According to science, snacks are usually unhealthy because they contain a lot of palm oil and calories. However, eating them occasionally, such as during social meetings, is acceptable since we do not want to eat heavy meals at those times.

建议: Focus on correct grammar and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

示例: No, I did not often eat snacks when I was young because I believe they are harmful to health. Instead, I preferred eating fruits since snacks contain many calories and can lead to fat accumulation in the body.

建议: Use clearer vocabulary and sentence structure. Provide specific reasons for your preferences and use linking words to connect ideas logically. Avoid unclear phrases like 'roasted China'.

示例: I mostly like to eat biscuits and chips. For example, I enjoy cream-filled biscuits because of their taste. I also like roasted chestnuts, which are healthier despite containing some calories.

× I usually eat a snack Saturday evening when I feel a little bit hungry because, uh, I want to do another activity so I need some energy.

✓ I usually eat a snack on Saturday evening when I feel a little bit hungry because, uh, I want to do another activity so I need some energy.

The sentence is missing the preposition 'on' before 'Saturday evening' which is necessary to indicate the time correctly. This is related to preposition usage but since the main issue is singular/plural with 'a snack' which is correct, the main correction is preposition addition.

× So I prefer like to eat a some biscuits or some chips.

✓ So I prefer to eat some biscuits or some chips.

The phrase 'a some biscuits' is incorrect because 'a' is used with singular countable nouns, while 'some' is used with plural or uncountable nouns. Here, 'biscuits' is plural, so 'some' alone is correct. Also, 'prefer like to eat' is redundant; 'prefer to eat' is correct.

× According to the science, snacks are not usually very healthy because there is a large amount of palm awhile and there is a lot of calorie.

✓ According to science, snacks are not usually very healthy because there is a large amount of palm oil and there are a lot of calories.

'The science' is incorrect; 'science' is an uncountable noun and does not need 'the'. 'Palm awhile' seems to be a mishearing or typo for 'palm oil'. Also, 'calorie' should be plural 'calories' because it refers to a countable quantity. 'There is' should be 'there are' for plural 'calories'.

× But occasionally these are not bad so we can consume as occasionally like for meeting someone or something.

✓ But occasionally these are not bad, so we can consume them occasionally, like when meeting someone or something.

The sentence has awkward phrasing and missing pronouns. 'Consume as occasionally' is incorrect; it should be 'consume them occasionally'. Also, 'like for meeting someone' should be 'like when meeting someone' for correct preposition usage.

× If I tell her nicely, I does not.

✓ If I tell her nicely, I do not.

The sentence is confusing and grammatically incorrect. 'I does not' is wrong; the correct form is 'I do not'. However, the sentence context is unclear; assuming present tense is intended here.

× I do not eat snacks till now because it is a very harmful for my health.

✓ I have not eaten snacks until now because they are very harmful to my health.

'Till now' suggests a time frame up to the present, so present perfect tense 'have not eaten' is appropriate. 'It is a very harmful' is incorrect; 'harmful' is an adjective and should not have 'a' before it. Also, 'snacks' is plural, so 'they are' is correct. 'Harmful for' should be 'harmful to'.

× I I prefer to eat fruits rather than these kinds of snacks becaused they contain many calories and they generally make a lot of fat in our body.

✓ I prefer to eat fruits rather than these kinds of snacks because they contain many calories and they generally cause a lot of fat to accumulate in our body.

'Becaused' is a typo; correct word is 'because'. Also, 'make a lot of fat in our body' is awkward; 'cause a lot of fat to accumulate in our body' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× Mostly I like to eat snacks like biscuits and chips.

✓ Mostly, I like to eat snacks like biscuits and chips.

A comma after 'Mostly' improves sentence clarity.

× I like a cream biscuits becauses it is a taste in eating and mostly the snacks I eat like a roasted China they are also best but it has some calories but it is a good for health little bit.

✓ I like cream biscuits because they taste good, and mostly the snacks I eat, like roasted chestnuts, are also good. They have some calories but are a little good for health.

The original sentence has multiple errors: 'a cream biscuits' is incorrect; 'cream biscuits' is plural and does not need 'a'. 'Becauses' is a typo for 'because'. 'It is a taste in eating' is awkward; 'they taste good' is correct. 'Roasted China' is unclear, likely 'roasted chestnuts'. 'They are also best' should be 'are also good'. 'It has some calories but it is a good for health little bit' is awkward; corrected to 'They have some calories but are a little good for health'.