写作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid vague phrases like "deep feelings that no one can understand" and reduce repetition. Also aim for varied vocabulary and correct small grammar issues (e.g., "makes me feel better" instead of "makes me feel so much").

示例: Yes, I write a lot. I keep a daily journal and sometimes short poems to process emotions when I feel lonely. For instance, when I'm upset I write a page about what happened and how I felt, which helps me calm down and understand my thoughts.

建议: Organize the answer: give a clear topic sentence, then use linking words to list types and reasons. Be specific about examples and correct awkward phrasing ("short daily entries about small moments" rather than "without events that happened"). Use varied vocabulary like "motivational reminders" or "creative practice."

示例: I write several types of pieces: short daily entries about small moments, motivational reminders, and occasional poems. For example, I jot down a brief note about a pleasant conversation to remember details, and I write motivational lines to reread when I need a confidence boost.

建议: Clarify the question and answer directly. Use a topic sentence saying whether the content will change, then explain how writing changes you personally with specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrases like "other emotional stuff" and grammar errors. Keep it to two or three sentences.

示例: I don't expect the words themselves to change much over time, but writing changes me personally. For example, keeping a journal has improved my self-confidence and helped me process difficult emotions, so I feel more resilient now.

建议: Good clear answer with reasons and an example. To improve, shorten slightly and vary vocabulary ("quicker" instead of repeating "fast"/"faster"). Remove filler words like "of course" and correct small phrasing ("saves me time").

示例: I prefer typing because it's quicker and more efficient, especially for messages or notes I might edit. For instance, autocorrect and easy editing save time and reduce mistakes when I draft something on my laptop.

建议: Answer directly with clear time expression and correct pronouns. Use a precise frequency (e.g., "almost every day" or "several times a week") and explain the benefit with correct phrasing ("relive memories" and "see how I've changed").

示例: I've kept a diary for about five or six years and I write in it almost every day. When I read older entries I can relive important memories and see how I've changed over time.

建议: Be more precise and grammatically correct. State one or two methods clearly and give a concrete example of how you use them. Avoid awkward phrases like "sharing them data" and use linking words for coherence.

示例: I also save memories on social media and in private chat channels. For example, I keep a private chat where I post photos and short notes about important events so I can look back later and feel organized.

× Whenever I feel misunderstood or lonely, I often write daily poetry or diary entries, which makes me feel so much.

✓ Whenever I feel misunderstood or lonely, I often write daily poetry or diary entries, which make me feel much better.

The relative clause 'which make' refers to the plural noun 'poetry or diary entries', so the verb should be plural ('make' not 'makes'). Also 'feel so much' is ungrammatical in this context; replace with 'feel much better' to clearly express improved feeling.

× I like to write many different things, especially short daily entries without events that happened because they helped me remember small details later.

✓ I like to write many different things, especially short daily entries about events that happened because they help me remember small details later.

The preposition 'without' is incorrect here; 'about' is appropriate for entries describing events. Also maintain tense agreement: use 'help' (present) to match the habitual meaning rather than 'helped' (past).

× No, I don't think that it would change, but it can immensely change myself by improving my confidence in the other emotional stuff.

✓ No, I don't think that it would change, but it can immensely change me by improving my confidence with other emotional issues.

Use the object pronoun 'me' rather than reflexive 'myself' because the subject and object are different. 'the other emotional stuff' is informal and unclear; 'other emotional issues' is more natural. 'confidence in' is less natural than 'confidence with' or 'confidence in dealing with' here.

× In my opinion, writing helps a lot to people in order to make them better.

✓ In my opinion, writing helps people a lot and makes them better.

The structure 'helps a lot to people' is incorrect; the correct pattern is 'helps people a lot'. Also 'in order to make them better' is wordy and awkward; 'and makes them better' is clearer and grammatically parallel.

× I prefer typing to handwriting because it's much faster and more efficient, especially when I need to send messages or write notes that I can change later.

✓ I prefer typing to handwriting because it's much faster and more efficient, especially when I need to send messages or write notes that I can change later.

No grammatical correction needed; sentence is acceptable. (Included to indicate checked; no change required.)

× For example, I can edit them quickly and use autocorrect, which saves my time and reduces mistakes of course.

✓ For example, I can edit them quickly and use autocorrect, which saves me time and, of course, reduces mistakes.

Use the object pronoun 'me' after 'saves' rather than 'my'. Insert commas for clarity and natural adverb placement: 'of course' is better set off by commas and placed before 'reduces mistakes' for smoother flow.

× I have been keeping theirs for about 5 or 6 years.

✓ I have been keeping them for about five or six years.

'Theirs' is a possessive pronoun meaning 'belonging to them' and is incorrect here. The intended direct object pronoun is 'them'. Also write numbers in words in formal writing: 'five or six years.'

× I like to write in them regularly because when I read past times I can relieve important memories and see how I change it.

✓ I like to write in them regularly because when I read past entries I can relive important memories and see how I have changed.

'Read past times' is unnatural; 'read past entries' or 'read past entries' is correct. 'Relieve' is the wrong verb; use 'relive' (to experience again). 'See how I change it' is incorrect tense and pronoun; use present perfect 'have changed' to show change over time and remove the extraneous object 'it.'

× I usually use a messaging channel like a private chat or saved posts folder on social media to record the important moments.

✓ I usually use a messaging channel, like a private chat or a saved posts folder on social media, to record important moments.

Add articles for clarity: 'a saved posts folder.' Remove 'the' before 'important moments' because the phrase is general; also add commas to set off the example phrase for readability.

× I created a channel to store key memories and updates and sharing them data helps me feel relieved and organized.

✓ I created a channel to store key memories and updates, and sharing that data helps me feel relieved and organized.

The gerund phrase 'sharing them data' is ungrammatical. Use 'sharing that data' (or 'sharing them' if referring to memories) and add a comma before the coordinating conjunction to join two independent clauses. 'That' clarifies 'data' as a singular concept.