写作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer wa eigo no shizen-sa ga tarinai desu. Fuyou na kotoba ya kurikaeshi ga ooi node, motto shizen de tadashii bunshou wo tsukatte kudasai. Kotae wa 5 bunshou ijou ni shinai you ni shite, chokusetsu shitsumon ni kotaete kudasai.

示例: No, I don't write a lot. I usually write short messages to my family and friends, especially for special occasions like birthdays or holidays.

建议: Kotae ga fumei de, imi ga wakari nikui desu. Motto meikaku ni shitsumon ni kotaete, riyuu ya jirei wo tsukete kudasai. Rinkingu wado wo tsukatte, kotae wo rikai shi yasuku shite kudasai.

示例: I like to write short messages to my family when they have important tasks or problems. For example, if someone is busy, I send a message to encourage them.

建议: Kotae ga fumei de, bunpou to eigo no shizen-sa ga tarinai desu. Motto meikaku ni shitsumon ni kotaete, rikai shi yasui bunshou wo tsukutte kudasai. Rinkingu wado wo tsukatte, kotae wo tsunagete kudasai.

示例: Yes, I sometimes change my messages because I make mistakes. For example, if I write something unclear, I correct it to make it clear for my family.

建议: Kotae wa sukoshi kurikaeshi ga ooi desu ga, imi wa wakariyasui desu. Motto shizen de tadashii eigo wo tsukatte, 5 bunshou ijou ni shinai you ni shite kudasai. Rinkingu wado wo tsukatte kotae wo tsunagete kudasai.

示例: I prefer typing because it is faster and more convenient. I usually use my phone to send messages to my family.

建议: Kotae ga fumei de, imi ga wakari nikui desu. Motto meikaku ni shitsumon ni kotaete, rikai shi yasui bunshou wo tsukutte kudasai. Fuyou na kurikaeshi ya eigo no shizen-sa ni chuumoku shite kudasai.

示例: I don't keep diaries often. I usually send messages and then delete them afterwards.

建议: Kotae ga fumei de, shitsumon ni chokusetsu kotaete imasen. Motto meikaku ni shitsumon ni kotaete, rikai shi yasui bunshou wo tsukutte kudasai. Rinkingu wado wo tsukatte kotae wo tsunagete kudasai.

示例: I don't use other methods to record my life. Instead, I enjoy spending time and relaxing with my family.

× Not, not really. I am.

✓ Not really.

The phrase 'I am' is unnecessary and incorrect here because the response is negative and does not require a subject pronoun. Simply saying 'Not really' is sufficient and grammatically correct.

× I write also, uh, a little for a message only in the in my family or and my friends.

✓ I also write a little messages only to my family and my friends.

The preposition 'for' is incorrectly used; 'to' is appropriate when indicating the recipient of messages. Also, 'in the in my family or and my friends' is awkward and incorrect; it should be 'to my family and my friends.'

× And I write the wishes for, uh, for special message if, uh, I need to message.

✓ And I write wishes for special occasions if I need to send a message.

The phrase 'write the wishes for special message' is incorrect. 'Wishes' are written 'for special occasions' or 'special messages.' Also, 'I need to message' is incomplete; it should be 'I need to send a message.'

× I like, right? Because, uh, I, uh, because uh, for example, they have a important uh, uh, missions, alright, 2 missions in in my family and for example, you have umm, important, uh, problem, like a problem.

✓ I like writing because, for example, there are important missions, like two missions in my family, and for example, you have an important problem.

The word 'right' is incorrect here; it should be 'writing.' Also, 'a important' should be 'an important' because 'important' starts with a vowel sound. The sentence structure is awkward and needs rephrasing for clarity.

× And I write a short message.

✓ And I write a short message.

This sentence is correct and does not require correction.

× Yes, I, I think, uh, I have a I have to change the things, umm, because uh, uh, like, like uh, I mistake to write the message and about, uh, for the things and I changed the for the, uh, clearly misses in my family.

✓ Yes, I think I have to change things because I made mistakes when writing messages about things, and I corrected the mistakes in my family.

The phrase 'I mistake to write' is incorrect; it should be 'I made mistakes when writing.' Also, 'I changed the for the, uh, clearly misses' is unclear and should be 'I corrected the mistakes.' Modal verb 'have to' is used correctly but the sentence needs restructuring for clarity.

× When we are, when we are, when we want to ride, I like, uh, typewriting and I use my phone because, uh, it, it's very, uh, fast years and, and convenient to use and, and to write diving in my phone to message in my family.

✓ When we want to write, I like typing and I use my phone because it is very fast and convenient to use for messaging my family.

The word 'ride' is incorrect; it should be 'write.' 'Typewriting' is better expressed as 'typing.' The phrase 'write diving in my phone' is incorrect and should be 'for messaging my family.' The sentence is restructured for clarity and correctness.

× I'm not really open to, to keep the Diaries, uh, because, uh, I only send the message and and after that and I, I delete.

✓ I'm not really into keeping diaries because I only send messages and then delete them.

The phrase 'open to, to keep the Diaries' is incorrect; 'into keeping diaries' is the correct expression. 'Send the message' should be plural 'send messages' to match context. The sentence is rephrased for naturalness.

× In the me and the other methods in my daily life is umm, umm, I, I want to, to doing to, uh, to doing or something, uh, with my, my family and I'm just, umm, enjoy and relax.

✓ For me, other methods in my daily life are doing things with my family, and I just enjoy and relax.

The phrase 'In the me and the other methods' is incorrect; it should be 'For me, other methods.' 'I want to, to doing to, uh, to doing' is incorrect and should be 'doing things.' The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.