写作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer clearer and more natural by avoiding unclear phrases and redundancy. Use simple, direct sentences and correct grammar to express your ideas effectively.

示例: No, I don't write much because I usually use my laptop to type instead of writing by hand.

建议: Your answer is relevant but could be improved by adding linking words and more specific details to explain why you like writing a diary.

示例: I like to write in my personal diary because it helps me keep track of my daily activities and manage my time better.

建议: Avoid hesitation and unclear phrases. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words to improve coherence.

示例: Yes, I believe the things I write will change because life is unpredictable, and sometimes plans don't go as expected.

建议: Make your answer more natural by correcting grammar and clarifying your points. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I prefer typing because it helps me work faster, and the computer automatically corrects my spelling mistakes.

建议: Improve your answer by using more precise vocabulary and linking words to explain the benefits of keeping a diary.

示例: I usually keep a diary regularly because it helps me stay organized and focused on my daily goals.

建议: Avoid hesitation and use clear, complete sentences. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide specific examples.

示例: I use different methods to record my life, such as taking photos of small daily activities and making DVDs for special events like birthdays.

× Most of the work I did by laptop by Ty on typing Inga.

✓ Most of the work I did was done on the laptop by typing.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and unclear phrasing. The past tense 'did' is correct, but the phrase 'by Ty on typing Inga' is incorrect and confusing. The correction clarifies that the work was done on the laptop by typing, using proper past tense and word order.

× Most of the work I did by laptop by Ty on typing Inga.

✓ Most of the work I did was done on the laptop by typing.

The preposition 'by' is incorrectly used before 'laptop' and 'Ty on typing Inga'. The correct preposition to indicate the device used is 'on' (on the laptop). Also, 'by typing' correctly indicates the method used.

× Actually I prefer typing because it helped me to me to do my work faster and also with connection because when I writing I sometimes mistake the spelling when typing then computer automatically.

✓ Actually, I prefer typing because it helps me to do my work faster and also with connection, because when I write, I sometimes make spelling mistakes, but the computer corrects them automatically.

The original sentence has redundant pronouns ('helped me to me'), incorrect verb tense ('helped' should be 'helps' to match present preference), and incorrect verb forms ('when I writing' should be 'when I write'). Also, the sentence structure is unclear and needs rephrasing for clarity.

× Actually I prefer typing because it helped me to me to do my work faster and also with connection because when I writing I sometimes mistake the spelling when typing then computer automatically.

✓ Actually, I prefer typing because it helps me to do my work faster and also with connection, because when I write, I sometimes make spelling mistakes, but the computer corrects them automatically.

The verb 'helped' is in past tense but the preference is current, so it should be 'helps'. Also, 'writing' should be 'write' to match the present tense context.

× I like to write my personal diary in which I write my every movement and record how I manage my time.

✓ I like to write in my personal diary, in which I record all my activities and how I manage my time.

The phrase 'my every movement' is awkward and unnatural. Replacing it with 'all my activities' is clearer. Also, 'write my every movement' is not a common expression; 'write in my diary' is more appropriate.

× I like to write my personal diary in which I write my every movement and record how I manage my time.

✓ I like to write in my personal diary, in which I record all my activities and how I manage my time.

The verb 'write' is usually followed by 'in' when referring to writing in a diary. The original sentence lacks the preposition 'in' before 'my personal diary'.

× I think, uh, yes. I think, uh, thing, uh, the things I write would change because, uh, life is uncertain. Uh, so whenever we think things not go on the right direction, which we think.

✓ I think, yes, the things I write would change because life is uncertain. So, whenever we think things are not going in the right direction, which we expect.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. The phrase 'things not go on the right direction' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'things are not going in the right direction'. Also, 'which we think' is vague and needs clarification or removal.

× So whenever we think things not go on the right direction, which we think.

✓ So whenever we think things are not going in the right direction, which we expect.

The preposition 'on' is incorrectly used; the correct preposition is 'in' when referring to direction. Also, the verb phrase needs 'are going' to be grammatically correct.

× I can use many methods to record my life, uh, like small activities of my life I can, uh, capture in the camera and uh, bigger movements like Mary's birthdays, I can prepare the DVDs.

✓ I can use many methods to record my life, like capturing small activities with a camera and preparing DVDs for bigger events like Mary's birthdays.

The original sentence has awkward pronoun and article usage ('capture in the camera' should be 'capturing with a camera'). Also, 'bigger movements' is incorrect; 'bigger events' is more appropriate. The sentence is restructured for clarity and correctness.