写作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma thulo bhag ma ramro prayas cha tara kehi shabda haru ko prayog ra vakya rachana ma sudhar garna parcha. Tapai le 'body is coming' bhanda 'birthday is coming' bhannu parcha. Arko kura, tapai le vakya haru lai chhoto ra spashta banau, jasto ki 'I write letters to my friends on their birthdays.'

示例: Yes, I write a lot. Every day, I write about my life and sometimes about my friends. When their birthday is coming, I write letters to wish them. I enjoy doing this because it makes me happy and my friends feel special.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma bhawana prakat garna ramro prayas cha tara vakya haru thulo ra thap spashta banau. 'Birthday card' ko sahi prayog garna parcha ra 'express my feelings' lai thap spashta banau. Linking words jasto ki 'because' ko prayog garera uttar lai ramro banau.

示例: I like to write birthday cards for my friends because I want to express how important they are to me. Writing these cards makes me happy and feel blessed. It is a special way to show my gratitude and love.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma vakya rachana ra shabda prayog ma thulo sudhar garna parcha. 'Right is writing' bhanda 'writing' bhannu parcha. Arko kura, uttar lai thulo ra spashta banau, jasto ki 'I don't think my writing will change because it is my way to express feelings.'

示例: No, I don't think the things I write will change because writing is my way to express my feelings and emotions, especially when no one understands or supports me. I also enjoy writing different types of stories and historical topics.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma ramro kura cha tara vakya haru lai chhoto ra spashta banau. 'My hand also get something exercise' bhanda 'It also helps improve my handwriting and gives my hand some exercise' bhannu parcha. Linking words jasto ki 'because' ko prayog garera uttar lai ramro banau.

示例: I prefer handwriting because when I write, even if my handwriting is not good at first, I improve with practice. Also, writing by hand helps exercise my hand muscles.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma grammar ra vakya rachana ma sudhar garna parcha. 'One day in week' bhanda 'Once a week' bhannu parcha. Arko kura, 'What gonna be in next day' bhanda 'what will happen the next day' bhannu parcha. Uttar lai chhoto ra spashta banau.

示例: I keep a diary once a week, usually on Friday because it is a good day for me. I write about what happened during the week, what I plan to do next, and how I feel. Whenever I have free time, I read my diary.

建议: Tapai ko uttar ma grammar ra shabda prayog ma sudhar garna parcha. 'No one listen me' bhanda 'no one listens to me' bhannu parcha. Arko kura, uttar lai chhoto ra spashta banau, jasto ki 'I only use diaries to record my life because they are like my best friend.'

示例: I don't use other methods to record my life. Diaries are my only way because they are like my best friend. When no one listens or understands me, I write in my diary, and it feels like home.

× I write something new and uh, every day I write something about my life and my friends too.

✓ I write something new and, uh, every day I write something about my life and my friends too.

The sentence is mostly correct but adding a comma after 'and' improves clarity and flow. No plural or singular issue here, so no correction needed for number.

× Uh, whenever they, their body is coming, I write something for them as a letter, as a body wish.

✓ Uh, whenever their birthday is coming, I write something for them as a letter, as a birthday wish.

The phrase 'their body is coming' is incorrect; it should be 'their birthday is coming'. The pronoun 'they' is unnecessary here and 'body wish' is a mispronunciation or misspelling of 'birthday wish'. Correcting these improves meaning and grammar.

× I like to do write about my friends, my friends birthday card, especially in their birthday.

✓ I like to write about my friends, especially their birthday cards on their birthdays.

The phrase 'do write' is incorrect; 'like to write' is correct. Also, 'in their birthday' should be 'on their birthdays' because we use 'on' with days and dates. 'My friends birthday card' should be plural possessive 'my friends' birthday cards' to match plural friends.

× I like to express my feeling, uh, how they, they are important to me and uh, I'm so, I'm so thankful for them.

✓ I like to express my feelings, uh, how they are important to me and, uh, I'm so thankful for them.

'Feeling' should be plural 'feelings' because it refers to multiple emotions. Also, removing the repeated 'they' improves sentence clarity.

× Uh, it's makes me happy and it's, it's makes me so, so blessed, blissful.

✓ Uh, it makes me happy and it makes me so, so blessed and blissful.

'It's makes' is incorrect; 'it makes' is correct. Also, 'blessed, blissful' should be connected with 'and' for proper coordination.

× No, I don't think that because right is writing is my different way to express my feeling and emotion when when nobody understood me and nobody tried to support me.

✓ No, I don't think that because writing is my different way to express my feelings and emotions when nobody understands me and nobody tries to support me.

'Right is writing' is incorrect; it should be 'writing'. Also, 'feeling and emotion' should be plural 'feelings and emotions'. The verbs 'understood' and 'tried' should be in present tense 'understands' and 'tries' to match the present context.

× I write different types of novels, history and.

✓ I write different types of novels and history.

The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly. Adding 'and history' completes the thought. 'History' here is uncountable and used correctly.

× I prefer for handwriting for me because when, when something I write and my handwriting is not good, I tried next time, next time, second, third time it's gonna be good and improvement and my hand also get something exercise and that's why.

✓ I prefer handwriting because when I write something and my handwriting is not good, I try next time, second time, third time; it gets better and improves, and my hand also gets some exercise, and that's why.

'Prefer for handwriting for me' is incorrect; 'prefer handwriting' is correct. 'I tried' should be 'I try' to maintain present tense. 'It's gonna be good and improvement' is incorrect; it should be 'it gets better and improves'. 'My hand also get something exercise' should be 'my hand also gets some exercise'.

× One day in week I keep Diaries, especially in Friday, because Friday is Friday is the good day for me always and I keep Diaries.

✓ One day a week I keep diaries, especially on Friday, because Friday is always a good day for me and I keep diaries.

'One day in week' should be 'one day a week'. 'Diaries' should not be capitalized. 'In Friday' should be 'on Friday' because we use 'on' with days. 'Friday is Friday is the good day' is repetitive and should be 'Friday is always a good day'.

× What gonna be in next day and what should do yesterday and what's going on my life.

✓ What is going to happen the next day, what I should have done yesterday, and what's going on in my life.

'What gonna be in next day' is incorrect; it should be 'what is going to happen the next day'. 'What should do yesterday' should be 'what I should have done yesterday' to express past obligation. 'What's going on my life' should be 'what's going on in my life' because 'in' is the correct preposition here.

× 1st I don't have a different types of methods I used to record my life because one and only thing is Diaries.

✓ First, I don't have different types of methods I use to record my life because the one and only thing is diaries.

'1st' should be spelled out as 'First'. 'I used to' implies past habit; 'I use' is present tense. 'A different types' is incorrect; it should be 'different types'. 'One and only thing is Diaries' should be 'the one and only thing is diaries' with 'diaries' lowercase.

× I love Diaries. Diaries is my best friend when no one listen me and no one try to understand me, I always write Diaries and Diaries is my home that's why.

✓ I love diaries. Diaries are my best friend when no one listens to me and no one tries to understand me. I always write in my diaries and diaries are my home; that's why.

'Diaries' should be lowercase. 'Diaries is' should be 'diaries are' because 'diaries' is plural. 'No one listen me' should be 'no one listens to me'. 'No one try' should be 'no one tries'. 'Write Diaries' should be 'write in my diaries'. Added punctuation for clarity.