写作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp, ví dụ như 'like as a student' nên là 'as a student' hoặc 'like a student'. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp hơn và sử dụng câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng. Ngoài ra, hãy chú ý đến việc sử dụng thì và cấu trúc câu để câu trả lời tự nhiên hơn.

示例: Yes, I write a lot, especially as a student. I often take notes in class to help me remember lessons better.

建议: Bạn nên chú ý đến cách dùng danh từ số nhiều và số ít, ví dụ 'interesting events' thay vì 'something interesting events'. Câu trả lời khá đầy đủ nhưng hơi dài và lặp từ. Hãy sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn và tránh lặp từ.

示例: I prefer writing a diary because it allows me to record interesting events in my life. Later, I can look back and see how much I have changed over time.

建议: Câu trả lời có lỗi từ vựng và ngữ pháp, ví dụ 'would train' có thể là lỗi đánh máy của 'would change'. Ngoài ra, 'cannot be uttered' không phù hợp với ngữ cảnh, nên dùng 'cannot be changed'. Bạn nên sử dụng từ vựng chính xác và câu trả lời ngắn gọn, rõ ràng hơn.

示例: I don't think the things I write would change because they are based on past events, which are fixed and cannot be changed. For example, if I write about something that happened yesterday, the facts remain the same.

建议: Câu trả lời có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không chính xác, ví dụ 'him writing' nên là 'handwriting'. Câu trả lời thiếu sự rõ ràng và mạch lạc. Bạn nên sử dụng câu đơn giản, rõ ràng và tránh dùng từ không phù hợp. Hãy trình bày ý kiến của bạn một cách logic và có liên kết.

示例: I prefer handwriting because it helps me recall memories and express my emotions better. Writing by hand feels more personal than typing.

× Yes, I think that I write a lot like as a student.

✓ Yes, I think that I write a lot as a student.

The phrase 'like as' is incorrect; 'as' alone is sufficient to indicate the role or capacity in which the action is performed.

× The knowledge that my teacher taught and explains to us writing help me understand and retain the knowledge better.

✓ The knowledge that my teacher taught and explained to us in writing helps me understand and retain the knowledge better.

The sentence has tense inconsistency and missing prepositions. 'Explains' should be past tense 'explained' to match 'taught', and 'in writing' clarifies the method. Also, 'help' should be 'helps' to agree with singular subject 'knowledge'.

× I think that I prefer to write the diary because I can take note of something interesting events in my life and I can look back and go back to the memories in the future so I can see how much I have changed over time.

✓ I think that I prefer to write a diary because I can take note of some interesting events in my life and I can look back at the memories in the future so I can see how much I have changed over time.

'The diary' should be 'a diary' because it is not a specific diary. 'Something interesting events' is incorrect; 'some interesting events' is correct. Also, 'look back and go back to the memories' is redundant; 'look back at the memories' is better.

× I don't think the things I write would train because they're based on the past events which are fixed and cannot be uttered.

✓ I don't think the things I write would change because they're based on past events which are fixed and cannot be altered.

'Train' is incorrect here; the intended word is 'change'. Also, 'uttered' is incorrect in this context; 'altered' or 'changed' fits better.

× I'm saying that I'm crazy about him writing like it can recall from my memories and have more passion to write by hand.

✓ I'm saying that I'm crazy about handwriting because it helps me recall my memories and I have more passion to write by hand.

'Crazy about him writing like it can recall from my memories' is incorrect. 'Handwriting' is the correct noun. 'Recall from my memories' should be 'recall my memories'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× That I can have more emotion and write better than typing.

✓ I can express more emotion and write better than when typing.

The original sentence is a fragment and unclear. It needs a subject and verb to be complete. 'Express more emotion' is clearer than 'have more emotion'.