写作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は質問に直接答えていますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現が多く、意味が伝わりにくい部分があります。例えば、「lighting improves」は文脈に合わず、意味が不明瞭です。より自然で効果的な表現を使い、文を簡潔にまとめることが必要です。

示例: Yes, I write a lot, especially when I study English and Korean. I usually take notes on paper because it helps me concentrate better and improves my language skills. Writing by hand also helps me stay organized and focused.

建议: 回答が不明瞭で、最後の文「Writing also makes me my life」は意味が通じません。内容を明確にし、具体的な理由や効果を述べることで、より説得力のある回答になります。

示例: I like to write notes on paper because it makes me feel comfortable and calm. It also helps me concentrate better and improves my language skills. Writing is an important part of my daily life.

建议: 回答が文法的に不正確で、意味が不明瞭な部分が多いです。質問に対して直接的に答え、具体的な変化や理由を明確に述べる必要があります。文を完結にし、論理的に繋げることが重要です。

示例: Yes, I think the things I write will change over time. When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a pilot, but now I work in agriculture. Also, I used to enjoy playing games, but now I prefer reading books.

建议: 回答は質問に答えていますが、「Liking by hand」などの表現が不自然で、文が途中で終わっているため意味が伝わりにくいです。より自然な表現を使い、文を完結させることが必要です。

示例: I prefer handwriting because it helps me concentrate better and feel more relaxed. Writing by hand also helps me remember information more effectively, especially when I study English and Korean. On the other hand, typing feels less personal and sometimes distracting.

× Yes, I love a lot, especially when I study English and Korean.

✓ Yes, I love writing a lot, especially when I study English and Korean.

The verb 'love' should be followed by a gerund (-ing form) when expressing enjoyment of an activity. Here, 'writing' is the correct form to indicate the activity the student loves.

× I usually write notes on paper because it helps me concentrate better, lighting improves, improves my skills, and makes my learning more effectively by helping me stay organized and focused.

✓ I usually write notes on paper because it helps me concentrate better, improves my skills, and makes my learning more effective by helping me stay organized and focused.

The sentence had redundant and unclear phrases like 'lighting improves' and 'makes my learning more effectively'. The corrected sentence removes redundancy and uses the correct adverb 'more effective' instead of 'more effectively' to modify 'makes my learning'.

× I like to write on the paper and note because it makes me feel comfortable and calm and it helps me concentrate better and improves my language skills.

✓ I like to write on paper and take notes because it makes me feel comfortable and calm, helps me concentrate better, and improves my language skills.

The phrase 'write on the paper and note' is incorrect. 'Write on paper' is the correct expression without 'the', and 'take notes' is the proper collocation. Also, commas are added for clarity.

× Writing also makes me my life.

✓ Writing also enriches my life.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'Makes me my life' is not grammatically correct. The correction uses 'enriches my life' to convey a meaningful idea.

× I think the things I like would change goes My dream is air dream pilot but now I have worked in agriculture also.

✓ I think the things I like will change. My dream was to be an airline pilot, but now I work in agriculture.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains incorrect verb forms and word order. 'Would change goes' is incorrect; 'will change' fits better. 'Air dream pilot' is unclear; corrected to 'airline pilot'. The tense is adjusted for clarity.

× When I was younger I enjoyed playing brilliant game but now I prefer reading books and.

✓ When I was younger, I enjoyed playing video games, but now I prefer reading books.

The phrase 'playing brilliant game' is incorrect; 'playing video games' is the correct expression. The sentence was incomplete ending with 'and.' The correction completes the sentence properly.

× I prefer handwriting when I am writing because it helps me concentrate better and feel more relaxed.

✓ I prefer handwriting when I write because it helps me concentrate better and feel more relaxed.

The phrase 'when I am writing' is correct but 'when I write' is more natural and concise in this context.

× Liking by hand also allows me to remember information more effectively, especially when I study English and Korean.

✓ Writing by hand also allows me to remember information more effectively, especially when I study English and Korean.

'Liking by hand' is incorrect; the intended phrase is 'writing by hand.' This correction fixes the verb and clarifies the meaning.

× In contrast, typing feels less personal and sometimes.

✓ In contrast, typing feels less personal sometimes.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'and sometimes.' Removing 'and' completes the sentence properly.