花— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is heartfelt but could be more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'for example'. Avoid redundancy such as repeating 'emotions' and 'flowers' unnecessarily.

示例: Yes, I love flowers because they convey emotions that words often cannot. For example, I often give flowers to my close friends during special occasions to express my feelings.

建议: Try to improve grammar and sentence structure for clarity. Begin with a direct answer, then add specific supporting details using linking words like 'because' or 'for instance'. Avoid vague phrases and ensure subject-verb agreement.

示例: Yes, my mother loves flowers and she taught me to appreciate them. For instance, she always received many flowers on her birthdays, which made her very happy.

建议: Your answer is informative but could be more fluent and natural. Use linking words like 'also' and 'for example' to connect ideas. Avoid awkward phrasing such as 'some St. gardens' and use more precise vocabulary.

示例: Yes, there are many flowers where I live. We have numerous flower shops and beautiful street gardens. Also, most people have their own flower gardens at home, which adds to the colorful environment.

建议: Focus on clearer sentence structure and avoid unnecessary phrases like 'as he mentioned'. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'for example' to explain your reasons. Also, correct grammar errors and use precise vocabulary.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of flowers because I receive many unique bouquets. For example, some flowers are imported and quite expensive, so I like to keep their pictures as memories.

建议: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and improve sentence clarity. Start with a direct answer, then explain with specific examples using linking words like 'because' or 'for instance'. Also, correct grammar mistakes and avoid vague statements.

示例: Yes, sending flowers is a common tradition in my country. For instance, people often give flowers as gifts on birthdays, and many women especially appreciate receiving them.

× Well actually I adore flowers because of their the emotions that they bring.

✓ Well actually I adore flowers because of the emotions that they bring.

The definite article 'the' is incorrectly used before 'emotions' after 'their'. The possessive pronoun 'their' already specifies the emotions, so 'the' is unnecessary and incorrect here.

× I would say that no gift can bring the emotions such as flowers.

✓ I would say that no gift can bring emotions such as flowers.

The definite article 'the' before 'emotions' is unnecessary because 'emotions' is used in a general sense here, not referring to specific emotions.

× Also I would mention that on the almost all events or business I try to give flowers to my close ones.

✓ Also I would mention that on almost all events or business occasions I try to give flowers to my close ones.

The phrase 'on the almost all events' is incorrect; 'the' should be removed before 'almost all events'. Also, 'business' alone is vague; 'business occasions' or 'business events' is clearer.

× Actually my mom, she's the person who teach me to loving flowers.

✓ Actually my mom, she's the person who taught me to love flowers.

The verb 'teach' should be in past tense 'taught' to match the past action. Also, 'to loving' is incorrect; the correct form is 'to love' (infinitive form).

× I would say as a childhood I remember that she received a really big amount of flowers on her birthdays and some others even some other events and she told me that flowers the only thing that can makes her happy.

✓ I would say as a child I remember that she received a really large number of flowers on her birthdays and some other events, and she told me that flowers are the only thing that can make her happy.

'As a childhood' is incorrect; 'as a child' is correct. 'Big amount' is better expressed as 'large number' for countable nouns like flowers. 'Some others even some other events' is redundant; simplified to 'some other events'. 'Flowers the only thing' lacks a verb; 'flowers are the only thing' is correct. 'Can makes' should be 'can make' because modal verbs are followed by base form of verbs.

× We have a really big amount of flower shops and we have flowers on the street gardens.

✓ We have a really large number of flower shops and we have flowers in the street gardens.

'Big amount' is better replaced with 'large number' when referring to countable nouns like 'flower shops'. Also, 'on the street gardens' should be 'in the street gardens' because flowers grow inside gardens.

× Almost every people who live in my country, they have garden that includes their own flowers.

✓ Almost every person who lives in my country has a garden that includes their own flowers.

'Every people' is incorrect; 'every person' is correct because 'people' is plural. Also, subject-verb agreement: 'person' is singular, so verb should be 'lives' and 'has'. 'Garden' needs an article 'a'.

× Even walking on the street we can see some St. gardens with roses or any other flowers.

✓ Even walking on the street, we can see some street gardens with roses or other flowers.

'St.' is an abbreviation for 'Saint' or 'Street' but is unclear here; 'street gardens' is clearer. Also, a comma is needed after the introductory phrase 'Even walking on the street'. 'Any other flowers' is better as 'other flowers' in this context.

× Yes, actually as he mentioned, I received a really large amount of flowers and there are some compositions that are unusual.

✓ Yes, actually as I mentioned, I received a really large number of flowers and there are some compositions that are unusual.

'As he mentioned' is incorrect because the speaker is the student, so it should be 'as I mentioned'. Also, 'large amount' is better as 'large number' for countable nouns like flowers.

× For example, with the flowers were not local and they cost a really big amount of money.

✓ For example, the flowers were not local and they cost a really large amount of money.

The sentence structure is incorrect; 'with the flowers were not local' should be 'the flowers were not local'. Also, 'big amount' is better as 'large amount' when referring to money.

× So I always take pictures and save like the memories of this flowers in the picture.

✓ So I always take pictures and save them as memories of these flowers in the pictures.

'Save like the memories' is incorrect; 'save them as memories' is correct. 'This flowers' should be 'these flowers' because 'flowers' is plural. 'In the picture' should be plural 'in the pictures' to match 'pictures'.

× Uh, giving flowers in my country is like a tradition. So a lot of people, they, uh, give flowers as a present on some birthday parties and flower is the only one present that every woman can love.

✓ Uh, giving flowers in my country is like a tradition. So a lot of people give flowers as presents on some birthday parties, and flowers are the only presents that every woman can love.

'Flower is the only one present' is incorrect; 'flowers are the only presents' is correct to match plural nouns. Also, 'present' should be plural 'presents' when referring to gifts in general.

× For example, in sometimes people give flowers even to the man's and it's not.

✓ For example, sometimes people give flowers even to men, and it's not uncommon.

'In sometimes' is incorrect; 'sometimes' alone is correct. 'The man's' is incorrect; 'men' is the plural form. The sentence ending 'and it's not' is incomplete; 'and it's not uncommon' completes the thought.