家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hometown, then add one or two specific details (location, key features). Avoid repetition and incorrect word order. Keep it to 1–2 sentences and use appropriate nouns (scenery, seafood) and adjectives.

示例: My hometown is Wenzhou, a coastal city in southeast China. It is known for its beautiful beaches, lush hills, and excellent seafood, which attract many visitors.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence stating what you like, then support with one or two specific, coherent reasons using linking words (for example, because, so, therefore). Correct tense and phrasing (I often go outdoors; being close to nature helps me relax). Keep sentences short and avoid filler words and repetition.

示例: What I like most about my hometown is its natural scenery. For example, I often spend weekends hiking by the sea or in nearby hills because being outdoors helps me relax and improve my mood.

建议: Answer the question directly with a clear time phrase (e.g., "I have lived there for..." or "I lived there until..."). If you moved for study, state both the total time you lived there and your current situation. Use correct verb forms and avoid unclear phrases like "since I was bored."

示例: I have lived in Wenzhou for almost 20 years. Recently I moved to Guangzhou for university, but my family and most of my life are still in Wenzhou.

建议: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and examples using linking words (for example, because, for instance). Avoid repetition and refine phrasing ("entrepreneurial", "open to new experiences"). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I think Wenzhou is a good place for young people because the local culture is very entrepreneurial. For instance, many young people start small businesses or experiment with new ideas, so there is a lot of motivation and support.

× Well, my hometown is Wenzhou, a very beautiful coastal city in Southeast China, and there are many beautiful natural scenery in the fantastic and delicious seafood.

✓ Well, my hometown is Wenzhou, a very beautiful coastal city in Southeast China, and there is a lot of beautiful natural scenery and fantastic, delicious seafood.

The noun 'scenery' is uncountable and should not use 'many'; use 'a lot of' or 'much'. Also the original sentence used an awkward structure 'in the fantastic and delicious seafood' which is incorrect; join related items with 'and' and place adjectives before nouns. Suggestion: treat 'scenery' as uncountable and list items clearly (e.g., 'a lot of scenery and delicious seafood').

× We are to be honest with the most thing I love about my about my hometown is the the nice natural scenery.

✓ To be honest, the thing I love most about my hometown is the nice natural scenery.

The original sentence mixes phrases and repeats words, causing a structure error. Start with 'To be honest' and use the correct superlative order 'the thing I love most' rather than 'the most thing'. Remove duplicate words. Suggestion: organize the sentence into a clear subject and predicate: 'To be honest, the thing I love most about my hometown is...'.

× You know on the weekend I often will go get outside and close to the nature to relax myself to changing my mood change changing my mood to another candle style and relax.

✓ You know, on weekends I often go outside and get close to nature to relax and change my mood.

Multiple issues: unnecessary modal 'will' with habitual action (use simple present), incorrect collocations 'get outside' is fine but 'close to the nature' should be 'close to nature', reflexive 'relax myself' is unnatural—use 'relax', and 'to changing my mood' mixes infinitive and gerund incorrectly; use 'to change my mood'. Also 'another candle style' is unclear and likely irrelevant, so removed. Suggestion: use simple present for habits and correct infinitive/gerund forms ('to relax', 'to change').

× Well, since I was bored, I've always lived even though and now I always can. I continue to go to College in Guangzhou. So I think I'm lived there almost for 20 years.

✓ Well, I've lived there for almost 20 years. I currently attend college in Guangzhou.

The original contains tense and coherence errors. 'Since I was bored' is irrelevant; use present perfect 'I've lived' to indicate duration up to now and state the time expression 'for almost 20 years'. 'I continue to go to College in Guangzhou' is awkward—use present simple or present continuous appropriately: 'I currently attend college in Guangzhou.' Remove redundant or ungrammatical fragments. Suggestion: use present perfect for actions continuing to present and keep sentences concise and relevant.

× Well, I think it's very good place for young people especially, you know, our wonderful people are very good at trying new things and develop a new business.

✓ Well, I think it's a very good place for young people. Especially, our young people are good at trying new things and developing new businesses.

Missing indefinite article before 'very good place' ('a very good place'). 'Our wonderful people' is vague; 'our young people' fits context. Parallel verb forms required: 'trying' and 'developing' (gerunds) to match. 'A new business' can be pluralized to 'new businesses' to match general statement. Suggestion: include necessary articles and keep verb forms parallel.

× So young people here are always to be motivated and encouraged to, to encourage to, to try any kind new things.

✓ So young people here are always motivated and encouraged to try all kinds of new things.

Remove redundant infinitives and fix quantifier and noun phrase: 'any kind new things' should be 'all kinds of new things'. Also 'are always to be motivated' is ungrammatical—use 'are always motivated'. Suggestion: simplify passive to 'are motivated and encouraged' and use correct plural quantifier 'all kinds of'.