家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural: give a direct topic sentence naming your hometown, then add one or two brief supporting details (e.g., who you live with or how long you have lived there). Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid repeating the same idea.

示例: I’m from Batanga City. I’ve lived there my whole life with my family — my mother and my grandfather — and it’s where I feel most at home.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence stating what you like, then give specific, well-linked details. Use correct prepositions and clearer vocabulary (e.g., ‘surrounded by nature’, ‘close to the sea’). Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like ‘for example’ or ‘also’.

示例: I love that Batanga is surrounded by nature. For example, it’s close to the sea and nearby mountains, so we often go hiking or to the beach, and the town also has good shops and transport links.

建议: Give a direct answer to the time question, then add one specific supporting detail if needed. Correct tense and phrasing (e.g., ‘I was born there’). Keep it short and natural.

示例: I’ve lived in Batanga for almost 23 years — I was born there. Because I’ve lived here so long, I know the city well and where to find what I need.

建议: Answer directly (yes/no) then give 2 clear reasons with examples. Use natural collocations (e.g., ‘safe for young people’, ‘active community’, ‘opportunities for recreation or work’). Avoid vague phrases like ‘gives a lot of vibe’ and finish sentences clearly.

示例: Yes, I think it’s a good place for young people because it’s relatively safe and there are active youth groups. For example, local community centers organise sports and job workshops that help young people gain skills and socialise.

× This is where I live, my mother live and actually this is where my grandfather live.

✓ This is where I live, my mother lives and actually this is where my grandfather lives.

The subjects 'my mother' and 'my grandfather' are singular, so the verb must take the third-person singular form 'lives'. Use 'lives' to agree with singular subjects. Grammar problem type ID:27

× What I like about my hometown is this is reached from all the nature like we are.

✓ What I like about my hometown is that it is close to many natural places, like we are.

The original uses incorrect prepositions and awkward phrasing: 'reached from all the nature like we are' is ungrammatical. Use 'close to' or 'near' with natural features, and introduce a clause with 'that' after 'is'. Also 'many natural places' or 'a lot of nature' is clearer. Grammar problem type ID:11

× Near from the seas, mountains and different kind of nature and also there is a lot of convenience here.

✓ It is near the sea, the mountains and different kinds of natural areas, and there are a lot of conveniences here.

Do not use 'near from'; use 'near' or 'near the'. Use plural 'kinds' to match 'different', and 'there are' for plural 'conveniences'. Also 'the sea' is more natural than 'the seas' unless referring to multiple seas. Grammar problem type ID:11

× I have lived here for almost 23 years and this is where I born and that's why I already knew all the things that our residences or our city can offer.

✓ I have lived here for almost 23 years and this is where I was born, so I already know all the things that our residents or our city can offer.

Use the passive past form 'was born' (past participle) not 'born' alone. 'Already knew' should be present perfect or present simple 'already know' because the knowledge still applies. 'Residences' is wrong for people; use 'residents'. Grammar problem type ID:9

× Actually yes this hometown is a good place for young people.

✓ Actually, yes, this hometown is a good place for young people.

Mainly punctuation/flow issues; grammar is acceptable. Adding commas improves clarity but no major verb change. Kept as present simple to match general statement. Grammar problem type ID:2

× This is because it gives a lot of vibe wherein safe for the community especially the young people and also there is a small group or community where it provides for the benefits and give.

✓ This is because it has a lot of positive atmosphere and is safe for the community, especially young people; there is also a small community group that provides benefits.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear: 'gives a lot of vibe wherein safe' is awkward. Replace with 'has a lot of positive atmosphere' and use 'is safe' for safety. 'Where it provides for the benefits and give' is incorrect; rephrase as 'a small community group that provides benefits.' Ensure subject-verb and clause structure are clear. Grammar problem type ID:26