家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar; give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details. Remove repetition and finish incomplete clauses. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

示例: My hometown is Nanning, a small city in southern China. It is surrounded by scenic mountains and large forests, so many tourists come here to go hiking and enjoy outdoor activities.

建议: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and consistent content. Fix incorrect words and unclear references (e.g. 'living learning', 'London'). Use one or two specific examples and linking words like "for example" or "because". Keep within 3–4 sentences.

示例: I like the peaceful environment in my hometown because it feels calm and clean. For example, there are many parks and green spaces where I often go for a walk after studying to relax.

建议: Start with a clear direct answer to the question, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid filler words and grammatical errors (e.g. 'playing some local parks'). Use linking words like "and" or "for example" correctly.

示例: I have lived in Nanning since I was born. For example, I made many childhood memories playing in the local parks with my friends.

建议: Give a clear opinion and support it with a specific reason or example. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g. 'find good jobs' not 'find some good job') and a linking word such as "because" or "however" when adding explanations. You may also briefly suggest what could improve it.

示例: I don't think it's a great place for young people because it is a small city with limited job opportunities. For example, many graduates move to larger cities to find work in technology or finance.

× My hometown is Nanning. It is a small city in southern China and Nanning is is known for the. The scenic mountains and large forests, that's why many tourists come here to go hiking and do some outdoor activities.

✓ My hometown is Nanning. It is a small city in southern China and Nanning is known for its scenic mountains and large forests; that's why many tourists come here to go hiking and do outdoor activities.

Errors: extra definite article 'the' before 'scenic mountains' is incorrect and makes the phrase ungrammatical; duplicated word 'is is' is a typing error. Also use 'its' to show possession (Nanning's scenic mountains). Suggestion: remove the extra 'the', delete duplicate 'is', replace 'the. The' with 'its' and join clauses properly with a semicolon or conjunction to improve flow.

× I really like living learning because of the peaceful environment.

✓ I really like living there because of the peaceful environment.

The phrase 'living learning' is incorrect — likely a word duplication or wrong word choice. Use 'living there' to refer to living in the hometown. Suggestion: keep a single gerund phrase 'living there' to express liking the experience.

× Compared with big city, the area in London is much cleaner and there are many parks and green spaces.

✓ Compared with big cities, the area in my hometown is much cleaner and there are many parks and green spaces.

Problems: 'big city' should be plural ('big cities') when making a general comparison; 'the area in London' is inconsistent with earlier context (student spoke about hometown Nanning), so replace with 'area in my hometown' to be coherent. Suggestion: use plural when comparing a category and keep referents consistent.

× I really like go for work after studying, I think it's a good way to help me relax.

✓ I really like going for a walk after studying; I think it's a good way to help me relax.

Error: 'like go' is incorrect; after 'like' use gerund 'going'. Also 'go for work' is odd here; likely meant 'go for a walk' or 'go out' to relax. Suggestion: use 'going for a walk' to express the relaxing activity and separate clauses with a semicolon or conjunction.

× I have lived there since I was born and I have many good memories there and, for example, playing some local parks with my friends. Yeah.

✓ I have lived there since I was born, and I have many good memories there; for example, playing in local parks with my friends.

Issues: sentence run-on with repeated 'and'; 'playing some local parks' is incorrect — use 'playing in local parks'. Suggestion: use commas or semicolons to separate ideas and use correct preposition 'in' after 'playing' when referring to parks.

× Actually, I think it's not a good place for young people. You know, it's just a small city and I think young people can't find some good job in my hometown.

✓ Actually, I don't think it's a good place for young people. You know, it's just a small city and I think young people can't find good jobs in my hometown.

Problems: 'I think it's not' is less natural than 'I don't think it's'; 'can't find some good job' is ungrammatical — use 'can't find good jobs' or 'a good job'. Suggestion: use natural negative inversion 'I don't think' and plural 'jobs' or 'a good job' to match the meaning.