家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. Try to start with a clear topic sentence stating the location or name of your hometown. Use specific details and correct grammar, and avoid vague phrases like 'natural'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas logically.

示例: My hometown is a small city famous for its traditional liquor. Additionally, there is a river nearby where many seagulls migrate every year, making it a beautiful place to visit.

建议: Your answer is unclear and contains incomplete sentences. Begin with a clear topic sentence and provide specific examples or reasons why you appreciate the people. Avoid confusing or incomplete statements and use linking words to improve coherence.

示例: What I love most about my hometown is the hospitable people. Whenever I visit, they warmly greet me and ask how I have changed over the years, which makes me feel very welcomed.

建议: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and unclear phrases like 'grew blue'. Start with a clear topic sentence stating the duration, then add specific supporting details about your connection to the place. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

示例: I have lived in my hometown for 18 years. It is where I was raised and grew up, and it holds many precious childhood memories for me.

建议: Your answer contains grammatical errors and unclear expressions like 'I'm not sleeping for young people'. Begin with a clear opinion, then explain with specific reasons. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

示例: To be honest, my hometown is not a good place for young people because it lacks opportunities and facilities for them to explore and enjoy their free time.

× My hometown is natural, which is famous for its liquor.

✓ My hometown is natural and is famous for its liquor.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'which' to connect two independent clauses. Using 'and' correctly links the two ideas. Also, 'natural' is an adjective that needs clearer context; here, it is acceptable but could be improved for clarity.

× Plus there's a river where so many seagulls will migrate there every years.

✓ Plus, there's a river where many seagulls migrate every year.

The phrase 'will migrate there every years' is incorrect. 'Will' is unnecessary for habitual actions, 'there' is redundant after 'where', and 'years' should be singular 'year' when preceded by 'every'.

× It's a necessary experience you would like to visit.

✓ It's a necessary experience you should have when you visit.

The original sentence is unclear and structurally incorrect. 'Experience' cannot be 'visited'; it should be 'had'. The correction clarifies the intended meaning.

× Every time I go home, they will say something like this. I have to say you many years I how how have changed I become.

✓ Every time I go home, they say something like this: 'I have to say, over the years, how much you have changed.'

The original sentence is fragmented and confusing. The correction restructures the sentence for clarity and grammatical correctness, including proper use of reported speech.

× I have lived there for 18 years and I was really loved there because it's where I was raised and grew blue.

✓ I have lived there for 18 years and I was really loved there because it's where I was raised and grew up.

The phrase 'grew blue' is incorrect; the correct phrasal verb is 'grew up' meaning to mature or spend childhood. The rest of the sentence is correct.

× It's it's a place that holds all my childhood memories.

✓ It's a place that holds all my childhood memories.

The repetition of 'It's' is a typographical error and should be corrected to a single 'It's'.

× And to be honest, to my hometown, I'm not sleeping for young people because.

✓ And to be honest, my hometown is not suitable for young people because...

The phrase 'I'm not sleeping for young people' is incorrect and unclear. It likely intends to say the town is not suitable or good for young people. The correction reflects this meaning.

× It don't have much opportunities or facilities for young people to explore and enjoy.

✓ It doesn't have many opportunities or facilities for young people to explore and enjoy.

'It' is singular, so the verb should be 'doesn't' not 'don't'. Also, 'much' is used with uncountable nouns; 'opportunities' is countable, so 'many' is correct.