家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to avoid repetition and minor grammatical errors. Also, use more precise adjectives and link your ideas smoothly. For example, instead of saying "it's a quite cold, crowded and loaded city," you could say "Dhaka is a bustling city known for its economic significance, though it can be quite crowded and experiences a cooler climate."

示例: My hometown is Dhaka, the capital city of our country, renowned as the economic hub. It is a bustling city that can be quite crowded, and the weather tends to be cooler compared to other regions.

建议: Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. Be direct and specific. Use linking words to connect your ideas. For example, you can say, "I like many things about my hometown, but especially the street food, which is very impressive and diverse."

示例: I like many things about my hometown, but especially the street food, which is very impressive and diverse. It offers a variety of delicious options that reflect our local culture.

建议: Improve sentence structure and grammar for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, "I lived there for 20 years before moving to another city for work. However, I still visit once a month because my entire family lives there."

示例: I lived in Dhaka for 20 years before moving to another city for work. However, I still visit once a month since my whole family continues to live there.

建议: Work on sentence fluency and avoid repetition. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, "Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because it offers many job opportunities and quality education, which help them build successful careers."

示例: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because it offers many job opportunities and quality education, which help them build successful careers.

× My hometown is Dhaka city which is the capital of our country and it it's known as the economical hub for the country.

✓ My hometown is Dhaka city, which is the capital of our country, and it is known as the economic hub of the country.

The definite article 'the' is correctly used before 'capital' and 'country' as they refer to specific entities. However, 'economical' is incorrect here; the correct adjective is 'economic' when referring to the economy. Also, 'it it's' is a typo and should be 'it is'. Adding commas improves sentence clarity.

× It's a quite cold, crowded and loaded city.

✓ It's quite a cold, crowded, and busy city.

The adverb 'quite' should precede the article 'a' when modifying an adjective. 'Loaded' is not appropriate to describe a city; 'busy' is a better adjective. Also, commas are needed to separate adjectives in a list.

× There are most of the things I liked about my hometowns.

✓ There are many things I like about my hometown.

The phrase 'There are most of the things' is ungrammatical. 'Many things' is the correct quantifier here. Also, 'liked' should be 'like' to match present tense, and 'hometowns' should be singular 'hometown' as the context refers to one place.

× Uh, if, specifically if, uh, I wanted to say, if I, uh, if I have to say, I will say, I will talk about the street foods because, uh, my hometown St. foods are quite impressed.

✓ Specifically, if I have to say, I will talk about the street foods because my hometown's street foods are quite impressive.

The original sentence is repetitive and unclear. 'St. foods' is unclear and should be 'street foods'. 'Are quite impressed' is incorrect; the foods cannot be impressed, so 'are quite impressive' is correct. Also, possessive form 'my hometown's' is needed.

× I lived there 20 years, then for my job purpose, I moved to another city.

✓ I lived there for 20 years, then for my job, I moved to another city.

The phrase 'for 20 years' requires the preposition 'for'. 'Job purpose' is unnatural; 'for my job' is better. The past tense 'lived' and 'moved' are correct here.

× Right now I visit my hometown once a month because my full family is still living there.

✓ Right now, I visit my hometown once a month because my whole family is still living there.

'Full family' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'whole family'. Adding a comma after 'Right now' improves readability.

× Yes, my hometown is good for young people be so because there are more job opportunities and things they can learn to to do well in their career and there are more good educational opportunities for the students.

✓ Yes, my hometown is good for young people because there are many job opportunities and things they can learn to do well in their careers, and there are good educational opportunities for students.

'Be so because' is incorrect; 'because' alone suffices. 'More job opportunities' should be 'many job opportunities' for countable nouns. The phrase 'to to do' has a repeated 'to'. 'Career' should be plural 'careers' to match 'young people'. 'More good educational opportunities' is awkward; 'good educational opportunities' is better. 'The students' should be 'students' without 'the'.