家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a clear and direct answer with correct sentence structure. Also, avoid repetition and provide specific details about your hometown.

示例: My hometown is Seoul, the capital city of South Korea. It is a bustling metropolis with many tall buildings and busy crossroads. The public transportation system, including buses and subways, is very convenient and constantly improving.

建议: Your answer is understandable but needs better grammar and vocabulary. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about the amenities you like.

示例: One of the best things about my hometown is the convenient amenities, especially the 24-hour convenience stores and efficient public transportation. For example, we have many options like subways and buses that make traveling easy.

建议: Your answer is confusing and grammatically incorrect. Try to answer directly with clear sentences and avoid unnecessary words. Explain your connection to the hometown clearly.

示例: I have lived in my hometown since I was born because my parents moved here for work. So, I grew up in this city and have lived here all my life.

建议: Your answer has grammar mistakes and unclear comparisons. Use correct grammar and provide clearer comparisons with specific reasons.

示例: Yes, I believe my hometown is a good place for young people because it offers many affordable houses and apartments. Compared to other parts of Seoul where housing is very expensive, my hometown is more budget-friendly.

× My hometown is the same now it's in Seoul.

✓ My hometown is the same; now it's in Seoul.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence lacking proper punctuation or conjunction. Adding a semicolon separates the two independent clauses correctly, improving clarity.

× My hometown is My hometown has many buildings and crossroads.

✓ My hometown has many buildings and crossroads.

The sentence repeats 'My hometown' unnecessarily, causing confusion. Removing the repetition corrects the sentence structure.

× Many track public transport to improve.

✓ Many tracks of public transport have improved.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'have improved' clarifies the intended meaning and corrects sentence structure.

× One of the most things of my hometown is very comfortable amenities, especially 24 convenience store and public transport.

✓ One of the best things about my hometown is its very comfortable amenities, especially 24-hour convenience stores and public transport.

'One of the most things' is incorrect; it should be 'one of the best things'. Also, '24 convenience store' should be '24-hour convenience stores' to be grammatically correct and plural where appropriate.

× We have many transports like subway and bus.

✓ We have many means of transport like the subway and buses.

'Transports' is not commonly used in plural form; 'means of transport' is more appropriate. Also, 'subway' and 'bus' should be pluralized or specified with articles.

× I have lived here when I before I was born, yeah, my parents have lived in this for working.

✓ I have lived here since before I was born; my parents have lived here for work.

The original sentence is confusing and ungrammatical. 'Since before I was born' correctly expresses the time frame, and 'for work' is the proper phrase instead of 'for working'.

× So. So naturally I was born here and I have grown this home now in my hometown.

✓ So, naturally, I was born here and have grown up in my hometown.

The sentence has unnecessary repetition and awkward phrasing. 'Grown up in my hometown' is the correct expression.

× Yes, I think our hometown has many cheap house and apartment to young people in Seoul.

✓ Yes, I think our hometown has many cheap houses and apartments for young people in Seoul.

'House' and 'apartment' should be pluralized to 'houses' and 'apartments' to agree with 'many'. Also, 'to young people' should be 'for young people'.

× Many houses is very expensive, but my hometown is better than that place.

✓ Many houses are very expensive, but my hometown is better than those places.

'Houses' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. Also, 'that place' should be 'those places' to refer to multiple locations.