家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Câu trả lời của bạn cần tự nhiên hơn và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp. Bạn nên dùng từ chính xác hơn như "landforms" thay vì "landform" và sửa lỗi từ "climb" thành từ phù hợp hơn như "calm" hoặc "clean". Ngoài ra, câu trả lời nên ngắn gọn, tránh dùng quá nhiều tính từ không cần thiết.

示例: I was born and raised in Dongfu, a village far from the city center. It is surrounded by peaceful landforms and many fruit orchards, which create a calm and tranquil atmosphere.

建议: Bạn nên tránh dùng cấu trúc sai ngữ pháp như "Even though... but" và câu trả lời cần rõ ràng, mạch lạc hơn. Ngoài ra, thông tin về thời tiết cần chính xác và cụ thể hơn, tránh mâu thuẫn như "tropical" nhưng "weather is really cold". Hãy dùng liên từ để kết nối ý tốt hơn.

示例: I like the weather in my hometown because it has only two seasons: sunny and rainy. Unlike other parts of Vietnam, the temperature is mild and not too hot throughout the year.

建议: Bạn cần chú ý ngữ pháp, ví dụ "I has been born" nên sửa thành "I was born". Câu trả lời nên rõ ràng và mạch lạc hơn, tránh lỗi lặp từ như "the the". Ngoài ra, nên dùng liên từ để kết nối các ý trong câu.

示例: I was born and raised in that village for about 10 years before my family moved to Guangdong city, where I live now. However, I still have a passion for the downtown area.

建议: Bạn nên tránh dùng từ ngữ không trang trọng như "Uh, I'm gonna say" trong bài thi IELTS. Câu trả lời cần hoàn chỉnh, tránh bỏ dở câu cuối. Hãy dùng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc và cung cấp thêm chi tiết cụ thể hơn về lý do.

示例: I would say no because my village is small and lacks job opportunities and leisure activities for young people. Therefore, it may not attract many youngsters, although it might be suitable for older residents.

× It's surrounded by peaceful landform and many fruit orchards, leaving the area climb and tranquil atmosphere.

✓ It's surrounded by peaceful landforms and many fruit orchards, leaving the area calm and tranquil atmosphere.

The noun 'landform' should be plural 'landforms' because it refers to multiple features. Also, 'climb' is incorrect here; the correct adjective is 'calm' to describe the atmosphere.

× Even though Vietnam is a tropical country, but in my village around the years we just have two seasons, sunny or rainy.

✓ Even though Vietnam is a tropical country, in my village throughout the year we just have two seasons, sunny or rainy.

Using both 'Even though' and 'but' together is redundant. Choose one conjunction. Also, 'around the years' is incorrect; 'throughout the year' is the correct phrase.

× So the weather is really cold. It's not really hot and not.

✓ So the weather is really mild. It's neither really hot nor cold.

The original sentence is awkward and incomplete. 'Not really hot and not' is incorrect. The corrected sentence clearly expresses the intended meaning using proper structure.

× I has been born and raised in that village for about 10 years, then my family moved to the city which now I'm living in is Guangdong city.

✓ I was born and raised in that village for about 10 years, then my family moved to the city where I am now living, Guangdong city.

'I has' is incorrect; the correct form is 'I was'. Also, the sentence structure is improved for clarity and correctness.

× But I always have the passions for the the downtown area.

✓ But I always have a passion for the downtown area.

'Passions' should be singular 'passion' when referring to a general liking. Also, 'the the' is a typo and should be corrected to 'the'.

× Uh, I'm gonna say no because we live in a small village, would not have enough flexibility and also low in job opportunities for the young people.

✓ Uh, I'm going to say no because we live in a small village, which does not have enough flexibility and also has low job opportunities for young people.

'Would not have' is incorrect here; the correct modal verb is 'does not have' to indicate present fact. Also, sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× We don't offer a lot of leisure activities too.

✓ We don't offer a lot of leisure activities either.

'Too' is less appropriate here; 'either' is used in negative sentences to add information.