家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by directly stating the location and avoiding redundancy. For example, say "My hometown is DAPA, which is in the southeastern part of Nepal, and I currently live there."

示例: My hometown is DAPA, located in the southeastern part of Nepal, and I currently live there.

建议: Make your answer more coherent and specific by using linking words and clear descriptions. For example, say "I like the special food in my hometown because it is very famous and tasty. Also, the scenery is beautiful, which makes the place enjoyable."

示例: I like the special food in my hometown because it is very famous and tasty. Also, the scenery is beautiful, which makes the place enjoyable.

建议: Focus on directly answering the question with clear and correct grammar. For example, say "I have lived in my hometown for 17 years since I was born in 2007."

示例: I have lived in my hometown for 17 years since I was born in 2007.

建议: Improve clarity and coherence by using linking words and correct expressions. For example, say "No, my hometown is not a good place for young people because it lacks good education and health facilities. Therefore, young people have to go to the capital city for better education and job opportunities."

示例: No, my hometown is not a good place for young people because it lacks good education and health facilities. Therefore, young people have to go to the capital city for better education and job opportunities.

× My hometown is located in DAPA where I'm currently living in southeastern place located in Nepal.

✓ My hometown is located in DAPA, where I am currently living in the southeastern part of Nepal.

The phrase 'in southeastern place located in Nepal' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'in the southeastern part of Nepal' to specify the location properly.

× If I say say what I like from my hometown, then it is a food speciality like which is very famous in there.

✓ If I say what I like about my hometown, it is a food speciality which is very famous there.

The sentence has redundancy ('say say') and incorrect prepositions ('from' instead of 'about'). Also, 'like which is very famous in there' is awkward; it should be 'which is very famous there'.

× I love to eat that which is very tasty and scenery of that place where you can see a beautiful.

✓ I love to eat that because it is very tasty, and the scenery of that place is beautiful to see.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks proper conjunctions. 'Scenery of that place where you can see a beautiful' is incomplete and needs to be rephrased for clarity.

× I wanna India when I was in 2007 and and up to it.

✓ I went to India in 2007 and stayed there until then.

'Wanna' is informal and incorrect here; the past tense verb 'went' should be used. Also, 'and and up to it' is unclear and needs correction to express the intended meaning.

× I'm leaving as my age is now 17 year old so it's already been 17 years living in here.

✓ I am living here now; I am 17 years old, so I have already been living here for 17 years.

'I'm leaving' is incorrect; it should be 'I am living'. Also, 'my age is now 17 year old' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'I am 17 years old'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× If I say no, it is not a good place for the young people because there is not a best facility, education like education or health facility.

✓ If I say no, it is not a good place for young people because there are not good facilities, such as education or health facilities.

'There is not a best facility' is incorrect; 'there are not good facilities' is appropriate. Also, 'education like education' is redundant and unclear; it should be 'such as education'.

× We need to go to the capital for the forgetting of advancement of education or job.

✓ We need to go to the capital for better educational or job opportunities.

'For the forgetting of advancement of education or job' is incorrect and unclear. The correct phrase is 'for better educational or job opportunities' to express the intended meaning.