家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is clear but could be more natural and concise. Instead of 'located in the southern of China,' say 'located in southern China.' Also, avoid unnecessary words like 'the' before 'southern.'

示例: My hometown is Nanning, the capital of Guangxi province, located in southern China.

建议: Your answer has good content but contains some redundancy and minor grammar issues. Avoid repeating phrases like 'when you when you.' Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly, for example, 'Moreover' or 'Additionally.'

示例: What attracts me most in my hometown are the delicious food and enthusiastic people. Moreover, you can experience a unique cultural atmosphere that makes the place very special.

建议: Your answer is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Instead, say 'I have lived there for 16 years; I was born and raised there.' Keep it simple and direct.

示例: I have lived there for 16 years since I was born and raised there.

建议: Your answer has several grammar and vocabulary errors and lacks clarity. First, 'pool area' is unclear; perhaps you meant 'small area.' Also, 'youngers' is incorrect; use 'young people' or 'youth.' Try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

示例: Not really. My hometown is a small area in Guangxi province, and there are limited opportunities for young people to develop their careers.

× My hometown is Nanny, the capital of Guangxi province, located in the southern of China.

✓ My hometown is Nanny, the capital of Guangxi province, located in the south of China.

The phrase 'in the southern of China' is incorrect because 'southern' is an adjective and should not be used with 'of' in this context. The correct form is 'in the south of China' where 'south' is a noun indicating the region.

× What attracts me most in my hometown is the delicious food and enthusiastic people there.

✓ What attracts me most about my hometown is the delicious food and enthusiastic people there.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used here. The correct preposition to express attraction towards a place is 'about'. So, 'attracts me most about my hometown' is the proper phrase.

× When you when you go there, you can feel the special culture atmosphere there.

✓ When you go there, you can feel the special cultural atmosphere there.

The phrase 'special culture atmosphere' is incorrect because 'culture' should be an adjective modifying 'atmosphere'. The correct adjective form is 'cultural'. Also, the repeated phrase 'when you' is redundant and should be removed.

× I have lived there for 16 years old, born and raised.

✓ I have lived there for 16 years; I was born and raised there.

The phrase 'for 16 years old' is incorrect because 'old' is used to describe age, not duration. The correct expression is 'for 16 years'. Also, 'born and raised' needs a subject and verb to form a complete sentence.

× Not really it's it's just a pool area in Guangzhou province there is not so much chance to development for the youngers.

✓ Not really, it's just a poor area in Guangzhou province; there are not many chances for development for young people.

The word 'pool' is a typo and should be 'poor'. 'So much chance' is incorrect; 'many chances' is appropriate for countable nouns. 'The youngers' is incorrect; 'young people' is the correct plural noun. Also, the sentence structure is improved by adding punctuation and correcting verb agreement.