工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is understandable but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "sales express" should be "sales expert" or "sales representative." Also, avoid unnecessary words like "And now." Try to make your answer more natural and concise.

示例: I am currently working as a sales representative at a fiber trading company, where I have been employed for five years.

建议: Your answer repeats information and has grammatical mistakes, such as "We I'm connected" and "kind person" instead of "kind people." Try to avoid repetition and use correct grammar. Also, add linking words to make your answer coherent.

示例: I work at a fiber trading company, where I have been for five years. I have a good relationship with both the staff and management because they are very kind and friendly.

建议: Your answer is too long and contains redundancy and grammatical errors. For example, "It's it's," "They have we have," and "colleague" should be plural. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about why it is a good place to work.

示例: Yes, it is a very good place to work because we have many kind colleagues. Moreover, the calm and cozy environment helps us work together to improve the company's success.

建议: Your answer is clear but has some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing, such as "the colleague that I communicate with them." Try to use plural forms correctly and avoid redundancy. Also, add linking words to improve coherence.

示例: Yes, I really like my workplace because of the friendly management and colleagues. Additionally, it is a great place to improve my knowledge and skills.

建议: Your answer is understandable but contains repetition and some grammatical errors, such as "as soon as I possible." Try to avoid repeating phrases and use correct grammar. Also, provide more details to enrich your answer.

示例: In the future, I plan to start my own business. Therefore, I will quit my current job as soon as possible to focus on running my own company.

× I'm a sales express in a fiber trading company, which I have worked here for five years.

✓ I'm a sales expert in a fiber trading company, where I have worked for five years.

The word 'express' is incorrect here; the correct noun is 'expert'. Also, 'which I have worked here for five years' is incorrect; 'where I have worked for five years' is the proper relative clause to indicate location and duration.

× We I'm connected with all the staff and management.

✓ I am connected with all the staff and management.

The sentence contains a structure error with 'We I'm'. It should be 'I am' to correctly express the subject and verb agreement.

× They are very lovely and kind person.

✓ They are very lovely and kind people.

The subject 'They' is plural, so the noun should be plural as well. 'Person' is singular; the correct plural form is 'people'.

× They have we have a lot of kind and lovely colleague that you can communicate with each other and in a very calm and cozy environment that's all together work to improve the benefits of company.

✓ We have a lot of kind and lovely colleagues that you can communicate with each other in a very calm and cozy environment, all working together to improve the benefits of the company.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'They have we have' is redundant; 'colleague' should be plural 'colleagues' to match 'a lot of'; 'that's all together work' is incorrect and should be 'all working together'; 'benefits of company' needs the definite article 'the' before 'company'.

× the colleague that I communicate with them.

✓ the colleagues that I communicate with.

Using both 'that' and 'them' is redundant. The correct form is 'the colleagues that I communicate with' without 'them'.

× I really like to have my own job, so I will quit my job as soon as I possible, as soon as possible, and I will run my own business and that's it.

✓ I really want to have my own job, so I will quit my job as soon as possible, and I will run my own business.

'I really like to have' is awkward; 'I really want to have' is more natural. The phrase 'as soon as I possible' is incorrect; it should be 'as soon as possible'. Also, 'and that's it' is unnecessary and informal in this context.