工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy by combining ideas smoothly and using correct prepositions. For example, say "I'm a Business Management student at Alkama University and I also work part-time in a warehouse."

示例: I'm a Business Management student at Alkama University, and I also work part-time in a warehouse.

建议: Your answer has some grammar and clarity issues. Try to use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific. For example, "I work part-time at Think Logistic, located in a quiet area of Mississauga. My responsibilities include picking and packing products accurately before they are shipped to various stores. I enjoy this job because it helps me improve my organizational skills."

示例: I work part-time at Think Logistic, located in a quiet area of Mississauga. My responsibilities include picking and packing products accurately before they are shipped to various stores. I enjoy this job because it helps me improve my organizational skills.

建议: Your answer is relevant but could be more fluent and natural. Use linking words like "because" and "also" to connect ideas smoothly. For example, "Yes, it's a good place to work because it's quiet, which helps me concentrate. Also, the environment is friendly and supportive, and I enjoy spending time with my colleagues."

示例: Yes, it's a good place to work because it's quiet, which helps me concentrate. Also, the environment is friendly and supportive, and I enjoy spending time with my colleagues.

建议: Your answer has some unclear parts and grammar mistakes. Try to be more concise and clear, and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "Yes, I love my workplace because it's close to my home, so I don't have to travel far. Also, the job is related to my field of study, Business Management, which makes it more interesting."

示例: Yes, I love my workplace because it's close to my home, so I don't have to travel far. Also, the job is related to my field of study, Business Management, which makes it more interesting.

建议: Your answer is understandable but has grammar and clarity issues. Try to give a clear topic sentence and support it with reasons. For example, "I haven't thought much about my future plans yet, but I would like to establish a business because I am gaining valuable knowledge from my Business Management studies."

示例: I haven't thought much about my future plans yet, but I would like to establish a business because I am gaining valuable knowledge from my Business Management studies.

× Actually I'm a student and working also.

✓ Actually, I'm a student and also working.

The phrase 'working also' is awkward; 'also working' is the correct word order when using 'also' with a verb in the present continuous form.

× I'm a student of Business Management course in Alkama University but at the same time I'm working in a warehouse.

✓ I'm a student of the Business Management course at Alkama University, but at the same time, I'm working in a warehouse.

Use 'of the' before 'Business Management course' to specify the course, and 'at' is the correct preposition for institutions like universities.

× I work part time at a Think logistic which is of a Rosen located.

✓ I work part-time at Think Logistic, which is located in a Rosen area.

Proper nouns like company names do not need an article 'a' before them. Also, 'part-time' should be hyphenated, and the sentence structure is corrected for clarity.

× It'll go in a quiet area of Mississauga.

✓ It is located in a quiet area of Mississauga.

The phrase 'It'll go' is incorrect; 'It is located' correctly describes the location. 'In' is the correct preposition for areas.

× Actually my responsibilities are pick and pack the products accurately and then sent to the sun it for the shipment to various stores.

✓ Actually, my responsibilities are picking and packing the products accurately and then sending them to the unit for shipment to various stores.

After 'responsibilities are', gerunds (verb + -ing) should be used. Also, 'sent' should be 'sending' to maintain parallel structure, and 'sun it' is corrected to 'unit'.

× I enjoy my job because it helps me to do a little organizacional.

✓ I enjoy my job because it helps me to do a little organizing.

'Organizacional' is incorrect; the correct word is 'organizing'. Also, 'to do a little organizing' is the correct phrase.

× I work part time at a Think logistic which is of a Rosen located.

✓ I work part-time at Think Logistic, which is located in a Rosen area.

Repeated correction for clarity: 'at' is correct for workplaces, and 'located in' is the proper phrase for location.

× Additionally, it is the environment of my work place is very friendly and supportive and I have spent a lot of time with my colleagues over there.

✓ Additionally, the environment of my workplace is very friendly and supportive, and I have spent a lot of time with my colleagues there.

Remove 'it is' to avoid redundancy, 'work place' should be one word 'workplace', and 'over there' can be simplified to 'there'.

× But from that it is the field of my interest because I have it is also business related job and I am studying also business management.

✓ But that is the field of my interest because it is also a business-related job, and I am also studying business management.

Correct pronoun use: 'it is' instead of 'I have it is', and proper placement of 'also'. Hyphenate 'business-related'.

× Play up. At this stage I haven't I think about my future plans, but I would like to. Establish a business because I have a great knowledge about business as I'm studying business managed.

✓ At this stage, I haven't thought much about my future plans, but I would like to establish a business because I have great knowledge about business as I'm studying business management.

Correct sentence structure by removing 'Play up', fixing verb tense to 'haven't thought', combining sentences properly, and correcting 'business managed' to 'business management'.