Study— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Your answer is clear and informative with good content, but it is slightly repetitive (“very proud” and “very happy” used twice) and a little long. Try to make a concise topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use one or two supporting details with a linking phrase. Also correct small timing phrasing (use “for ten years” instead of “since 10 years ago”).

Ví dụ: I work full-time in marketing. I graduated in Archaeology in 2015 but for the past ten years I have run the marketing for my own business, which I find very rewarding because it lets me combine creativity and strategy.

Gợi ý: Good content and a clear topic, but avoid filler words (uh) and tighten the structure. Use one linking phrase to connect the specialization to why it interested you and give a specific detail or example to make it more vivid.

Ví dụ: I studied archaeology at Cairo University, specializing in Egyptology. For example, I researched burial practices of the New Kingdom, which I found fascinating because it revealed how ancient people believed about the afterlife.

Gợi ý: The answer is direct and relevant but slightly wordy and repetitive. Use one strong reason and a specific example to support your opinion. Replace vague phrases like “pretty well known” with more precise language.

Ví dụ: Yes, Cairo University has a strong reputation across the country. For instance, many departments have leading scholars and the faculty I studied with published important research in Egyptology.

Gợi ý: You present a clear opinion but the answer is fragmented, has repetition ("interactive" repeated) and an unfinished ending. Use a clear topic sentence, one or two specific suggestions, and link them (e.g., “for example” or “such as”). Also correct small grammar issues (avoid sentence fragments).

Ví dụ: Yes. I would introduce more interactive elements in lectures, such as group workshops and diagram-based activities. For example, professors could run small projects where students analyze artifacts together, which would increase engagement and understanding.

Gợi ý: This answer is relevant and focused but slightly repetitive (“main focus” and “main studies” repeated). Make the structure more concise: a topic sentence, one linking phrase, and a specific example of a course or goal to show purpose.

Ví dụ: I am focusing on work-related courses, especially marketing and SEO. For example, I'm taking an advanced SEO course to increase my website traffic so I can grow my business's online sales.

× I actually have my own business which I run the marketing for, and I'm very proud of that.

✓ I actually have my own business for which I run the marketing, and I'm very proud of that.

The relative clause 'which I run the marketing for' ends with a preposition and has awkward word order. Recasting as 'for which I run the marketing' places the preposition before the relative pronoun and yields a more formal, grammatically correct structure. Also preserves present continuous meaning. Suggestion: Use 'for which' when the preposition refers to the relative pronoun to improve formality and clarity.

× I've been in that position since 10 years ago now and I'm very happy and I'm very proud of it.

✓ I've been in that position for ten years now, and I'm very happy and proud of it.

With 'have been' plus a duration, use 'for' not 'since' with a period of time. Also write numbers in words for readability in formal writing. Combining 'very happy and proud' is more concise. Suggestion: Use 'for ten years' to indicate duration and avoid redundant phrases.

× I studied at the Cairo University, I started, uh, archaeology and I specialized more in Egyptology, which the science behind learning all things related to the ancient Egyptian civilizations.

✓ I studied at Cairo University. I studied archaeology and specialized in Egyptology, which is the study of all things related to ancient Egyptian civilization.

Do not use 'the' before proper university names like 'Cairo University'. The original sentence has punctuation/run-on issues; split into two sentences. 'Which the science behind learning' is missing the verb 'is' and 'science behind learning' is awkward — use 'is the study of'. 'Civilizations' should be singular 'civilization' when referring to ancient Egypt as a single culture. Suggestion: Use 'Cairo University', include 'is' in relative clauses, and prefer 'study of' for academic fields.

× Yes, Cairo University is pretty well known and a lot of people actually students make it an aim for them to go and study there and take their degree from this university.

✓ Yes, Cairo University is pretty well known, and many students aim to go there to study and earn their degrees.

Avoid redundancy 'a lot of people actually students' — choose 'many students'. 'Make it an aim for them to' is wordy; use 'aim to'. 'Take their degree from this university' is better phrased as 'earn their degrees'. Suggestion: Use concise structures and correct collocations like 'aim to' and 'earn a degree'.

× Also it has a lot of talented and amazing professors.

✓ It also has many talented and excellent professors.

Use 'many' with countable plural nouns ('professors') rather than 'a lot of' for more formal style. 'Amazing' is informal; 'excellent' is a better adjective. Suggestion: Prefer 'many' and choose precise adjectives.

× Yes, I would like this place to have more interactive activities between students. Instead of the professor just telling about the subject.

✓ Yes, I would like this place to have more interactive activities among students and between students and professors, instead of the professor just lecturing about the subject.

The second fragment 'Instead of the professor just telling about the subject.' is a sentence fragment (no main clause). Combine ideas into one complete sentence and replace 'telling about' with 'lecturing about' for natural collocation. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments and use appropriate verbs like 'lecture'.

× It would be more fun to have more interactive diagrams or interactive activities between students and professors.

✓ It would be more engaging to have interactive diagrams and activities involving students and professors.

Repetition of 'more' and 'interactive' is redundant. 'Be more fun' is informal; 'be more engaging' fits academic context. Also 'between' implies two parties; 'involving' is clearer. Suggestion: Reduce redundancy and choose precise adjectives.

× That way students can engage more in the lecture and they can can be.

✓ That way students can engage more in the lecture and participate actively.

Original ends with 'they can can be' which is incomplete and contains a duplicated word 'can'. Provide a clear completion: 'participate actively'. Suggestion: Proofread to remove duplicated words and finish clauses with appropriate verbs.

× Currently, I'm just taking courses in my work field, especially in marketing and SEO.

✓ Currently, I'm taking courses in my field of work, especially in marketing and SEO.

'Work field' is awkward; 'field of work' or 'work field' can be improved to 'my field of work' or simply 'my field'. 'Just' is unnecessary. Suggestion: Use natural collocations like 'my field' or 'my field of work' and omit filler words.

× These are my main focus right now to improve my skills and improve my career as a marketer, and I want to actually drive my business to be in a good place.

✓ These are my main focuses right now to improve my skills and advance my career as a marketer, and I want to grow my business into a strong position.

'Focus' should agree in number with 'these' — use 'focuses' or rephrase to 'my main focus is'. 'Improve my career' is unnatural; use 'advance my career'. 'Drive my business to be in a good place' is awkward; 'grow my business into a strong position' is clearer. Suggestion: Ensure subject-number agreement and use natural collocations like 'advance a career' and 'grow a business'.