Work— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence (I work full-time) then add one or two specific supporting details (job type, why you enjoy it). Avoid repetition and overly emotional phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas.

Ví dụ: I work full-time as a marketing coordinator at a tech company. I enjoy it because I can use my creativity to design campaigns, and seeing positive customer feedback makes me feel useful and motivated.

Gợi ý: Provide a direct topic sentence then give specific supporting details and use linking words. Correct small grammar issues (a busy area). Mention one specific place or feature to be more concrete.

Ví dụ: I work in Tokyo, which is also my hometown. Although it's a very busy city, I find the constant activity energizing, and I often explore different neighborhoods like Shibuya and Asakusa in my free time.

Gợi ý: This answer is good but trim redundancy and use one linking phrase. Keep sentences concise (max 5). Add a specific example of a park or cafe to make it more vivid.

Ví dụ: Yes, it's a great place to work. Although Tokyo is busy, I find the city's energy calming because there are many quiet parks like Ueno Park and cozy cafes where I can relax after work.

Gợi ý: Clarify and correct contradictions and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I like working in Ginza), then give two specific positive reasons. Avoid saying both relaxed and uncomfortable—choose one and explain why. Use linking words (because, so).

Ví dụ: Yes, I enjoy working in Ginza because it's an international area where I often hear English and can practice my language skills. This makes me feel more confident and at ease when speaking with visitors.

Gợi ý: Give a clearer, realistic plan. Begin with a direct topic sentence about a specific goal, then explain steps or reasons. Replace vague phrases (license, choose anything) with concrete career aims or skills you want to use.

Ví dụ: In the future I hope to move into a management role where I can mentor junior staff. To prepare, I plan to take project management courses and volunteer for leadership tasks so I can make a meaningful contribution to the company and community.

× I'm working every day.

✓ I work every day.

The student uses present continuous 'I'm working' to describe a habitual action. Habitual actions require the simple present tense. Use 'I work every day' to indicate regular routine. Suggestion: Use simple present for routines (I work, I go, I eat).

× Working is my soul, Working is my point of my life.

✓ Working is my soul; working is the purpose of my life.

Phrases are awkward and unidiomatic. 'Point of my life' is incorrect; native speakers say 'the purpose of my life.' Also capitalize consistently and avoid repeating 'Working' with unnecessary capitalization. Suggestion: Use natural expressions like 'the purpose of my life' or 'my passion.'

× I can feel I'm very useful and helpful for society and the people.

✓ I feel that I am very useful and helpful to society and to people.

Use 'feel that I am' instead of 'can feel I'm' for clarity. Preposition 'to' is correct with 'helpful' or 'useful to', not 'for' in this context. 'the people' is unnecessary; use 'people' or 'others.' Suggestion: Use 'helpful to' and 'useful to' and avoid redundant articles.

× I'm working in Tokyo.

✓ I work in Tokyo.

Use simple present for habitual or current employment. 'I'm working' implies temporary or current action; 'I work' is standard when describing regular employment or place of work. Suggestion: Use 'I work in [city]' to state your workplace location.

× Tokyo is really busy area but it makes me more comfortable and relaxed.

✓ Tokyo is a really busy area, but it makes me feel more comfortable and relaxed.

Missing article 'a' before 'really busy area.' Also 'makes me more comfortable' needs 'feel' after 'makes me.' Suggestion: Include articles with countable nouns and use 'feel' after 'make' to express emotional effect.

× I can explore the urban city all the time.

✓ I can explore the city all the time.

'Urban city' is redundant; 'city' implies urban. The sentence is grammatical otherwise. Suggestion: Avoid redundant modifiers: use 'city' or 'urban area.'

× And this is my hometown too.

✓ This is also my hometown.

Awkward word order: 'And' at the start is unnecessary; 'also' fits better before 'my hometown.' Suggestion: Use 'This is also my hometown.' for concise phrasing.

× It's a very busy busting city, but I actually find the energy calming because there are always cafes and parks where I can relax and I enjoy exploring different neighborhoods in my free time.

✓ It's a very busy, bustling city, but I actually find the energy calming because there are always cafes and parks where I can relax, and I enjoy exploring different neighborhoods in my free time.

The student used 'busting' instead of 'bustling.' Also punctuation needed to separate clauses with a comma before 'and.' Suggestion: Use the adjective 'bustling' to describe a lively city and insert commas to separate clauses.

× It's also my hometown so I know it well and feel comfortable living there.

✓ It's also my hometown, so I know it well and feel comfortable living there.

Missing comma before 'so' when connecting independent clauses. Tense is fine. Suggestion: Use commas to join independent clauses with coordinating conjunctions.

× Yes, I really like there.

✓ Yes, I really like it there.

Incorrect word order and missing pronoun 'it' for 'like it there.' Suggestion: Use 'like it there' or 'I really like living there.'

× It's called Ginza.

✓ It is called Ginza.

Contraction is acceptable; correction optional. Sentence is grammatical. No major grammatical error per list; keep as 'It's called Ginza.' Suggestion: Both 'It's called Ginza' and 'It is called Ginza' are fine.

× Ginza City is filled with foreigners all the time.

✓ Ginza is often filled with foreigners.

'All the time' is exaggerated; 'often' is more natural. 'Ginza City' is redundant; 'Ginza' is sufficient. Suggestion: Use 'often' or 'frequently' for habitual frequency.

× I can hear English from everywhere and I can use my English to everywhere and everybody.

✓ I can hear English everywhere, and I can use my English with everyone.

Use 'everywhere' without 'from' and 'use ... with' rather than 'to' when referring to people. 'Everybody' changed to 'everyone' in natural phrasing. Suggestion: 'hear X everywhere' and 'use English with everyone.'

× So it it makes me feel more relaxed and uncomfortable.

✓ So it makes me feel more relaxed and comfortable.

Contradictory adjectives 'relaxed and uncomfortable' is likely a mistake. Also duplicated 'it.' Suggestion: Decide on intended meaning; probably 'relaxed and comfortable.'

× As long as I can feel I'm useful and helpful, I can do anything.

✓ As long as I feel that I am useful and helpful, I can do anything.

Use 'feel that I am' rather than 'can feel I'm' for clarity. Present simple 'feel' describes a general condition. Suggestion: Use 'feel that I am' for statements about feelings.

× But I have a lot of license I can use for society, so whenever I can contribute something, I will choose anything.

✓ But I have many qualifications/licenses that I can use to help society, so whenever I can contribute, I will choose to do so.

'A lot of license' is unidiomatic; likely 'many licenses' or 'qualifications.' 'Use for society' should be 'use to help society.' 'I will choose anything' is vague; 'I will choose to do so' clarifies intent. Suggestion: Use 'many qualifications/licenses' and 'use to help society' and avoid 'anything' without context.