Internet— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise and use correct tense and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence stating when you began, then add one brief, specific detail. Avoid redundancy and long subordinate clauses.

Exemplo: I started using the Internet about ten years ago. At that time, public internet cafes had just opened in my city, which made online access possible for the first time.

Sugestão: Give a direct frequency statement, then one or two concise reasons using linking words. Reduce fillers and make grammar accurate (e.g., 'every day' vs 'everyday').

Exemplo: I go online every day. This is because internet access in my country is reliable and affordable, so most people can connect easily.

Sugestão: Answer directly and give a clear specific example with correct word order and fewer hesitations. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast, and finish the thought completely.

Exemplo: No, I can't remember ever being completely banned from the internet. However, at my previous job in a bank there were restrictions: staff could only use the internet for limited hours and certain websites were blocked.

Sugestão: State your opinion clearly, then give a specific reason and one brief example of how it affects you. Remove fillers and use correct grammar and cohesive devices like 'because' and 'for example'.

Exemplo: Yes, I do think I spend too much time online because I have constant access at home. For example, I often browse social media for several hours in the evening instead of doing other activities.

Sugestão: Give a clear conditional sentence ('Without the internet, I would...'), then add a specific, complete supporting detail. Avoid trailing off and correct basic grammar (e.g., 'books are one of my favourite').

Exemplo: Without the internet, I would read more books because reading used to be my favorite pastime. For instance, I would reread novels and explore new authors I haven’t tried before.

× I started using the Internet 10 years ago when in my city there are some facilities from where we can find the Internet, so it's was the biggest achievement for us.

✓ I started using the Internet 10 years ago when in my city there were some facilities where we could get Internet access, so it was the biggest achievement for us.

The sentence uses 'there are' with a past time reference (10 years ago). Use past form 'there were' to match past tense. Also 'find the Internet' is unnatural; use 'get Internet access' or 'access the Internet'. Remove the extra contraction 'it's was' and use 'it was'. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent by using past tense verbs for events in the past and prefer 'get/access Internet' for clarity.

× I always uh, go online uh, because in my country Internet access is a very flexible and also the price is very, umm, affordable, so everyone can use everyday, uh, Internet and it's very important.

✓ I always go online because in my country Internet access is very flexible and the price is very affordable, so everyone can use the Internet every day and it is very important.

Redundant fillers removed. Use 'is' not 'is a very flexible' — 'Internet access is very flexible' is correct without 'a'. 'Everyday' is an adjective; use the two-word adverb 'every day'. Also replace contraction 'it's' with 'it is' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid filler words and use correct 'every day' adverb and adjective-noun agreement.

× Actually, I can't remember time when I was not allowed to use the Internet. Umm, to be honest, honest, uh, my uh, previous works there are some restriction because it was bank and in the bank everyone had the same kind of umm, limited hours, but.

✓ Actually, I can't remember a time when I was not allowed to use the Internet. To be honest, at my previous workplace there were some restrictions because it was a bank, and in the bank everyone had the same limited hours.

Missing article 'a' before 'time' and awkward phrase 'previous works'. Use 'previous workplace'. With past context, use 'there were some restrictions'. 'Restriction' should be plural. Remove trailing 'but' and fillers. Suggestion: use articles correctly ('a time'), correct noun forms ('workplace','restrictions'), and match verb tense to past events.

× Yes, actually I think that I spend too much time online uh because, as I mentioned, uh, the access to the Internet is a very umm uh easy, so uh, I have all day Internet and go on it.

✓ Yes, actually I think that I spend too much time online because, as I mentioned, access to the Internet is very easy, so I have Internet all day and use it a lot.

Remove fillers. 'Is a very easy' is incorrect; 'is very easy' is correct. 'Have all day Internet' is awkward; use 'have Internet all day'. 'Go on it' is informal and awkward; use 'use it'. Suggestion: simplify sentences, remove unnecessary articles before uncountable nouns, and use natural collocations like 'have Internet all day' and 'use it'.

× MMM actually without, uh, Internet, I uh, would, uh, read now the books because before the Internet book is one of the my favorite entertainment. So I when I, uh, headed.

✓ Actually, without the Internet I would read books now, because before the Internet, books were one of my favorite entertainments.

Sentence contains tense and word order issues. Use conditional 'would' for hypothetical present and place it before the verb: 'I would read books now'. 'Before the Internet' refers to past general time so use past 'books were'. Remove 'the' before 'my' and incorrect phrase 'when I headed'. Suggestion: use correct conditional structure and past tense for past habits, and avoid extraneous fillers and incomplete fragments.