Internet— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be concise, use correct tense, avoid repetition and minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Use past tense for past events. Replace vague phrases with precise ones.

Exemplo: I started using the internet when I was about seven. My mother gave me my first smartphone then, and I used it mainly to play games and watch videos.

Sugestão: Give a direct frequency (daily, several times a day) and then one or two specific reasons. Avoid filler phrases and correct word order. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' properly and keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

Exemplo: I go online several times a day, mostly on my phone. I use it to text friends, arrange meet-ups, and check social media — for example, I often message friends to plan trips to the mall or restaurants like McDonald's.

Sugestão: Answer directly with past tense and coherent sequence. Remove hesitations and repetition, and give a concise reason and clear duration. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' correctly and avoid informal fillers.

Exemplo: Yes. Once my parents punished me for misbehaving, so they took my phone and turned off the Wi‑Fi. I wasn't allowed to use the internet for seven days.

Sugestão: State your opinion clearly, then give specific examples and an indication of frequency or consequences. Avoid vague phrases like 'do something for a day' and keep sentences well-structured.

Exemplo: Yes, I think I spend too much time online, especially watching YouTube and playing Clash of Clans. I often message friends and lose track of time, which sometimes affects my homework.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence stating likely activities, then add one specific reason or example. Avoid repeating phrases and check grammar. Keep it natural and varied in vocabulary.

Exemplo: Without the internet, I would spend more time outdoors — walking in the park or meeting friends at the mall. I might also eat out at affordable places like McDonald's because it's convenient and filling.

× I start using the Internet when I was around six or seven, but more specifically around 7 years olds because my mother gave me my first phone.

✓ I started using the Internet when I was around six or seven, more specifically when I was about seven, because my mother gave me my first phone.

The sentence mixes present simple 'I start' with a past time reference 'when I was'. Use past tense 'started' to match the past time frame. Also '7 years olds' is incorrect; use 'when I was about seven' for age.

× It's called iPhone and Android.

✓ It was an iPhone, not Android.

Context refers to a single first phone received in the past, so use past tense 'was' and article 'an' before 'iPhone'. Also clarify that Android is a different type; original phrasing was ambiguous.

× So I discovered Internet when I was 7 and I started using it.

✓ So I discovered the Internet when I was seven and started using it.

Use past tense 'discovered' and include the definite article 'the Internet'. Keep consistent past tense for actions that occurred in the past.

× Hours go online since it's it's 2025 and it's modern technology times era so I just use my phone all the time to text with my friends or make plans with them for example like going to the mall or going out to eat at the restaurant.

✓ I go online for hours because it's 2025 and we live in a modern technological era, so I use my phone all the time to text my friends and make plans, for example to go to the mall or eat at a restaurant.

Original sentence has incorrect word order 'Hours go online' and tense issues. Rephrase to 'I go online for hours' and correct redundancy 'it's it's' and awkward 'modern technology times era' to 'modern technological era'. Also simplify 'text with my friends' to 'text my friends' and 'for example like' to 'for example'.

× Specifically my favorite restaurant is or McDonald's.

✓ Specifically, my favorite restaurant is McDonald's.

Remove extraneous 'or' and add a comma for clarity. Use proper noun 'McDonald's' as the restaurant name.

× Uh, yes, I remember as I will, I will, I couldn't use the Internet because how my behavior is very bad to to my parents, how, how I acting to them.

✓ Yes, I remember. I couldn't use the Internet because my behavior toward my parents was very bad; I was rude to them.

Original has awkward pronoun and tense usage 'as I will, I will' and 'how my behavior is very bad to to my parents' is incorrect. Use past tense 'was' and correct preposition 'toward' or 'to', and rephrase 'I was rude to them' for naturalness.

× So they took my phone, they turn off the Wi-Fi and stuff.

✓ So they took my phone and turned off the Wi-Fi and other services.

Sequence of past actions requires past tense 'turned' not 'turn'. Combine into one sentence with consistent past tense.

× So I couldn't use the Internet for like 7 days.

✓ So I couldn't use the Internet for about seven days.

Use 'about' instead of 'like' in formal speech and spell out 'seven' for consistency. Past tense 'couldn't' is correct.

× Yes I do spend so much time online especially watching YouTube or just playing my video games called Clash of Clans and I just keep messaging my friends to do something for a day.

✓ Yes, I do spend a lot of time online, especially watching YouTube or playing a game called Clash of Clans, and I keep messaging my friends to make plans for the day.

Replace informal 'so much' with 'a lot' or keep but adjust phrasing. Use 'playing a game called' for clarity. 'to do something for a day' is unclear; 'to make plans for the day' is more natural.

× I would just walk in the park or hang out with my friends in the mall or eat at the restaurant, specifically McDonald's since it's very affordable and makes you makes you full.

✓ I would just walk in the park, hang out with my friends at the mall, or eat at a restaurant, specifically McDonald's, since it's affordable and filling.

Use parallel verb forms 'walk', 'hang out', 'eat'. Change 'in the mall' to 'at the mall'. Remove repetition 'makes you makes you full' and replace with 'filling' or 'satisfying'. The conditional 'would' is appropriate here.