Study— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: ปรับประโยคให้กระชับและลำดับข้อมูลชัดเจน ใช้เวลาพูดน้อยกว่า 3 ประโยค หลีกเลี่ยงเสียงแทรก (เช่น uh) และใช้คำศัพท์ที่ตรงกับตำแหน่งงาน เช่น “policy and planning analyst” รวมทั้งแยกบทบาทหลักกับหน่วยงานให้ชัดเจน

Exemplo: I work as a policy and planning analyst at the Office of the National Security Council in Thailand. I lead the development section and serve as a government officer focusing on security policy.

Sugestão: จัดลำดับการศึกษาชัดเจน ใช้โครงสร้างประโยคที่ตรงคำถาม (สถานที่/สาขา) แก้คำผิดและคำที่ไม่เหมาะสม เช่น ใช้ “I graduated from” หรือ “I studied” แทน “I have a many degree” และระบุปีหรือความสัมพันธ์ถ้าจำเป็น

Exemplo: I completed my bachelor's degree in Political Science at Sukhothai Thammathirat Open University. I also studied law at Thammasat University, where I earned a second bachelor's degree.

Sugestão: พูดให้ชัดว่าคุณคิดอย่างไรและให้เหตุผลสั้นๆ ใช้ linking words เช่น “because” หรือ “so” แก้ไวยากรณ์ (was → were) และคำที่ฟังไม่ชัดหรือผิด เช่น “entrancing” → “entrance”, “acceptance for entering in Master” → “good for progressing to master’s programs”

Exemplo: Yes, it is a good place to study because admission is very competitive and the programs prepare students well for further studies, such as master's degrees.

Sugestão: ตอบตรงคำถามว่าต้องการการเปลี่ยนแปลงไหม แล้วให้ตัวอย่างการเปลี่ยนแปลงที่เฉพาะเจาะจง เช่น การพัฒนาทักษะปฏิบัติหรือการเชื่อมโยงกับตลาดงาน ใช้ประโยคสั้นๆ 2–3 ประโยคและหลีกเลี่ยงความคลุมเครือ

Exemplo: Overall, my education helped me reach a stable position, but I would like universities to offer more practical training and stronger links with employers to improve graduates' job readiness.

Sugestão: เริ่มด้วยประโยคตรงคำถาม (Yes/No หรือ I plan to…) อธิบายสาขาและเหตุผลอย่างชัดเจน ใช้คำศัพท์ถูกต้อง (e.g. pursue a master's degree, enhance) และหลีกเลี่ยงการซ้ำคำว่า upskill/reskill โดยรวมข้อเสนอแนะด้านเวลา/สถานที่สั้นๆ

Exemplo: I plan to pursue a master's degree in Conflict, Security and Development in the United Kingdom to enhance my analytical skills and qualify as a professional security analyst.

× Now I am a worker as a policy and plan analyst in the Office of National Security Councils in Thailand, to be uh, heads of development sections, and then I am a government officer.

✓ I am currently working as a policy and planning analyst at the Office of the National Security Council in Thailand; I am head of a development section and a government officer.

The original sentence has run-on structure, incorrect noun forms, and inconsistent articles. Use 'currently working' for present occupation, 'policy and planning analyst' for correct noun forms, 'Office of the National Security Council' for proper name and singular, and 'head of a development section' for correct role. Join clauses with a semicolon or separate sentences to avoid run-on sentences.

× I have a many degree in bachelor degree.

✓ I have a bachelor's degree.

Use the possessive form 'bachelor's degree' and do not combine 'a' with 'many'. The correct phrase is 'I have a bachelor's degree.'

× Firstly I graduated from UH Sukhothai Tamarind University in the area of Poli Political science and then I competing in Bachelor of Law from Tamasak University.

✓ First, I graduated from UH Sukhothai Thammathirat University with a degree in political science, and then I studied for a Bachelor of Laws at Thammasat University.

Correct university names and degree phrasing are needed. Use 'graduated from ... with a degree in ...' and 'studied for a Bachelor of Laws' or 'competed' is incorrect. Also fix spelling of universities. Maintain past tense 'graduated' and 'studied'.

× Of course, it is so very competitive for entrancing when you was a competing in high school and then is a very acceptance for entering in Master Dicky border domestic and.

✓ Of course, it is very competitive to gain admission when you are applying from high school, and it is also selective for entry into master's programs.

The sentence contains tense errors, wrong word choices, and unclear phrases. Use 'to gain admission' and present tense 'you are applying' for general statements. Replace unclear fragments like 'Master Dicky border domestic' with 'master's programs' or a specific program name.

× I admit that the education form my previous school and the university that make me to be a stable positions now and then it seem like that education's in Thailand that develop my state that and my.

✓ I believe the education I received at my previous school and university has helped me achieve a stable position now; it seems that education in Thailand has developed my abilities and opportunities.

Fix grammar: 'education I received' is needed, change 'make me to be' to 'has helped me achieve', use singular 'position', and clarify the second clause. Avoid dangling phrases and ensure parallel structure.

× How I am pursuing in master degree at the United Kingdom in the area of conflict, security and development to uphance my skill and upskill and reskill to be a professional analyst in security area.

✓ I plan to pursue a master's degree in the United Kingdom in conflict, security, and development to enhance my skills and become a professional security analyst.

Use 'plan to pursue' or 'I will pursue' for future study intentions. Correct 'master degree' to 'master's degree', 'in the United Kingdom' (no 'the' sometimes optional but standard), 'enhance' instead of 'uphance', and simplify 'upskill and reskill' to 'enhance my skills' for clarity. Use 'become a professional security analyst' for natural phrasing.