Study— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Сіздің жауабыңызда көп үзілістер мен қайталанулар бар, бұл сөйлеуіңізді табиғи емес және түсініксіз етеді. Келесіде жауапты қысқа әрі нақты етіп, артық сөздерді азайтыңыз. Мысалы, тақырыпты анықтап, қызығушылығыңызды нақты түсіндіріңіз.

Exemplo: I am currently a student at Chester United University, majoring in Information Security because I have a strong interest in understanding how to protect data and systems from cyber threats.

Sugestão: Жауабыңызда грамматикалық қателер және толық емес сөйлемдер бар. Сөйлемдерді толық және дұрыс құрастырыңыз, сонымен қатар қала мен университет туралы нақты ақпарат беріңіз.

Exemplo: I study at 90 University located in Astana city, which is the capital of Kazakhstan.

Sugestão: Жауабыңызда артық үзілістер мен қайталанулар бар, сонымен қатар грамматикалық қателер байқалады. Жауабыңызды қысқа әрі нақты етіп, нақты себептер мен сипаттамаларды қосыңыз.

Exemplo: Yes, I believe it is a good place to study because the university has excellent technical facilities and comfortable areas where students can relax.

Sugestão: Жауабыңызда қайталанулар және грамматикалық қателер көп. Өзгерістер туралы нақты және толық сөйлемдермен айтыңыз, мысалы, қандай өзгерістер қажет екенін түсіндіріңіз.

Exemplo: Yes, I would like the university to renovate the study cabins to make them more comfortable and modern for students.

Sugestão: Жауабыңызда көп үзілістер мен қайталанулар бар, бұл сөйлеуіңізді табиғи емес етеді. Жауабыңызды нақты және толық етіп, болашақ жоспарларыңызды анық айтыңыз.

Exemplo: In the future, I aspire to pursue a master's degree to broaden my horizons and deepen my knowledge in my field.

× I choose umm, these fields because umm, I, uh, I, I have a keen interest, uh, understand understanding how, celebrate, umm, how?

✓ I choose these fields because I have a keen interest in understanding how things work.

The original sentence has tense inconsistency and unclear phrasing. 'Choose' is present tense and correct here, but the phrase 'understand understanding how, celebrate, umm, how?' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The correction clarifies the meaning and uses proper present tense verbs and structure.

× I'm a study at the 90 University, uh, at the Astana city. It's uh.

✓ I study at 90 University in Astana city.

The original sentence has incorrect sentence structure and unnecessary articles. 'I'm a study' is incorrect; it should be 'I study'. Also, 'at the Astana city' is incorrect; 'in Astana city' is the correct preposition usage.

× our university have got more, umm, technical technicals and uh, other, uh, other, uh, relaxed area for students.

✓ Our university has more technical facilities and other relaxed areas for students.

The subject 'university' is singular, so the verb should be 'has' not 'have'. Also, 'technical technicals' is incorrect; 'technical facilities' is more appropriate. 'Area' should be plural 'areas' to match 'other'.

× Uh, so it's, it's a very comfort.

✓ So, it's very comfortable.

'Comfort' is a noun; the adjective form 'comfortable' should be used to describe the place. Also, 'a very comfort' is incorrect; 'very comfortable' is correct.

× I would like the place where I study to make some change, for example.

✓ I would like the place where I study to make some changes, for example.

'Change' in this context should be plural 'changes' because it refers to multiple modifications or improvements.

× I believe I we need my university need to changes our our our our cabins.

✓ I believe my university needs to change our cabins.

The original sentence has redundant pronouns 'I we' and repeated words 'our our our our'. Also, 'need to changes' is incorrect; it should be 'needs to change' to agree with singular subject 'university'.

× I, I aspire to, uh, pursue higher education for my, uh, master's degree and uh, uh, because uh, I, uh, want to, I want to, umm, broaden my horizons, uh, additionally, uh.

✓ I aspire to pursue higher education for my master's degree because I want to broaden my horizons.

The original sentence has unnecessary repetitions and filler words. The modal verb 'aspire to' is correctly used, but the sentence can be simplified for clarity and fluency.