Views— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Reduce hesitation and filler words, make your answer more concise and coherent, and add a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "so") correctly and avoid repetition. Aim for natural phrasing and correct prepositions (e.g., "on social media").

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I have been passionate about photography for several years and I often photograph natural sites with my friends because we like exploring scenic spots together. Also, I share many of these photos on social media to keep memories and get feedback.

Sugestão: Clarify and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give two specific reasons with correct vocabulary and fewer hesitations. Replace vague phrases with precise expressions (e.g., "clean air" instead of "purest oxygen").

Exemplo: I prefer views in rural areas. Firstly, the clean air and quiet atmosphere help me relax and refresh my mind. Secondly, the natural landscapes are more beautiful and peaceful than busy city scenes, so I feel happier when I visit the countryside.

Sugestão: Make your main idea clear and support it with concrete reasons. Avoid vague phrasing like "represent the privilege to enjoy my own identity." Instead explain why local scenery matters to you (familiarity, cultural connection, accessibility). Use linking words to connect ideas.

Exemplo: I prefer views in my own country because I feel a strong cultural connection to the landscapes and traditions here. Also, I know the best local spots and can easily visit them to take photos. Capturing familiar scenes helps me share my country's beauty with others.

× I was really passionate about, uh, cameras, uh, in between years, I used to take pictures of, uh, natural sites, Uh, I used to take pictures with my friends and I find it more, uh, convenient for because, uh, I share more pictures in the socials.

✓ I was really passionate about cameras in my younger years; I used to take pictures of natural sites with my friends, and I found it more convenient because I shared more pictures on social media.

The student mixes past and present tenses. 'Was really passionate' and 'used to take' require past tense throughout: change 'find' to 'found' and 'share' to 'shared'. Also 'in between years' is unclear and is corrected to 'in my younger years'. Use 'on social media' rather than 'in the socials'. Maintain consistent past tense for completed habitual actions.

× I prefer the views of rural areas because it, uh, it gives me much more pleasure and, uh, the, I get, uh, the purest oxy oxygen from there.

✓ I prefer views of rural areas because they give me much more pleasure, and I get the purest oxygen there.

The subject 'views' is plural, so use plural pronoun 'they' (pronoun agreement). Remove redundant filler words and repeated 'the'. 'Oxy oxygen' is a repetition so correct to 'oxygen'. 'From there' can be simplified to 'there'.

× And uh, I also, uh, recover my, it also refreshes my mind and I really come in love.

✓ It also refreshes my mind and I really fall in love with it.

'Recover my' is incomplete and awkward; likely intended 'it also refreshes my mind'. 'I really come in love' is incorrect collocation; correct idiom is 'fall in love with it'. Use present tense 'refreshes' to match general truth/preference.

× I prefer views in my own country because, uh, it's, it gives me the chances to represent the privilege to enjoy my own, uh, identity.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because it gives me the chance to experience and express my identity.

Multiple article and word choice issues: 'the chances' should be 'the chance' or 'a chance'—here 'the chance' or better 'the chance to' becomes 'the chance to experience and express my identity'. 'Represent the privilege to enjoy my own identity' is awkward; use 'experience and express' for clarity. Remove redundant 'my own' where not needed.

× And, uh, I try to take pictures of my own country because, uh, it represents my, the natural scene.

✓ I try to take pictures of my country because it represents the natural scenery.

'My own country' can be simplified to 'my country'. 'The natural scene' is incorrect collocation; use 'the natural scenery'. 'Represents my, the natural scene' has extraneous 'my,' and article misuse; correct to 'represents the natural scenery'.