Views— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues and finish the thought. Aim for 2–4 sentences, avoid repeating words (e.g., “keeps keeps”), and use precise vocabulary (e.g., “sunsets” not “the sunset between June to July”).

Exemplo: Yes, I love photographing different views because nature is always changing and it inspires me. For example, summer sunsets in June and July have vivid colors that calm me, so I often go out at that time to capture them.

Sugestão: Organize your answer: give a clear topic sentence then two concise reasons linked logically. Remove filler sounds (uh) and unclear phrases (“P and peas”). Correct sentence endings and avoid trailing off. Use linking words like “because” and “also,” and give specific sensory details (sounds, smells, visuals).

Exemplo: I prefer rural views because they are quieter and cleaner than cities. For instance, at my grandmother’s house I can breathe fresh air and hear birds singing, which helps me relax and think clearly.

Sugestão: Make your topic sentence direct and support it with specific reasons and a concise example. Avoid vague phrases like “I have seen so much of it.” Use past experiences briefly to illustrate your preference, and connect sentences with words like “because” or “for example.” Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Exemplo: I prefer views in my own country because I know the landscapes well and feel emotionally connected to them. For example, childhood visits to my grandmother’s village left me with lasting memories of rolling hills and dramatic sunsets that I still enjoy photographing.

× I really enjoy taking pictures of different views because I feel like nature always keeps keeps changing and it amazes me and makes me find my peace and make me feel alive.

✓ I really enjoy taking pictures of different views because nature keeps changing; it amazes me, brings me peace, and makes me feel alive.

The sentence contains a repeated word 'keeps keeps' and has awkward parallel structure 'it amazes me and makes me find my peace and make me feel alive.' This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Remove the duplicate word and use parallel verb forms: 'amazes me, brings me peace, and makes me feel alive.' Use a semicolon or shorter clauses to improve clarity. Next time, read aloud to catch repetitions and ensure verbs in a list share the same grammatical form.

× Such as the sunset between June to July is spectacular and that's why I take.

✓ For example, the sunsets from June to July are spectacular, and that's why I take pictures then.

Problems: 'Such as' is used incorrectly to start a sentence; 'between June to July' is incorrect preposition/phrase; 'the sunset ... is' conflicts with general monthly reference and 'I take' is incomplete. This falls under incorrect use of the definite article/prepositions (ID 17 and 11) and sentence structure (ID 26). Use 'For example' to introduce an example, 'from June to July' or 'in June and July', pluralize 'sunsets' if referring generally, and complete the verb phrase 'I take pictures then.' Suggestion: Choose appropriate introductory phrases and ensure prepositions match time ranges ('from...to' or 'between...and').

× I prefer uh views in rural areas because whenever I visit my grandma's home, I always see there is such fresh air and fresh water.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because whenever I visit my grandma's home, I always find such fresh air and clean water.

'I always see there is such fresh air' is an awkward construction and uses 'see there is' incorrectly; 'fresh water' can imply potable water but context likely means 'clean water.' This is an incorrect pronoun/structure issue (ID 12 and 26). Use verbs that match the experience: 'find' or 'notice' rather than 'see there is.' Suggestion: Use natural verbs for perception (notice/find) and ensure noun modifiers convey intended meaning ('clean water' if referring to lack of pollution).

× Also, there's no pollution. I can breathe in silence with P and peas and it makes me feel so calm and collected.

✓ Also, there is no pollution; I can breathe in silence among the trees and peas, and it makes me feel calm and collected.

Original contains 'P and peas' which appears to be a typo, and 'breathe in silence with' is awkward. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and article/word choice issue (ID 22). Replace unclear fragment with 'among the trees and peas' only if intended; if 'P' was a mistake, remove it. Use semicolons or commas for clarity and keep adjectives in correct order. Suggestion: Remove typos, choose precise nouns, and connect clauses with appropriate punctuation.

× And This is why I.

✓ And this is why I prefer rural views.

This fragment 'And This is why I.' is incomplete and lacks a main verb and object — a sentence without a verb/complete predicate (ID 23) and sentence structure error (ID 26). Provide the full idea: 'this is why I prefer rural views.' Suggestion: Always finish clauses by including the verb and object to express the intended meaning.

× I prefer views in my country because I have seen so much of it more than other countries.

✓ I prefer views in my country because I have seen much more of it than other countries.

The phrase 'so much of it more than other countries' is incorrect word order and comparison (ID 25 and 26). Use 'much more of it than in other countries' or 'I have seen much more of my country than other countries.' Also prefer 'than in other countries' to compare experiences. Suggestion: Place comparative words ('much more') before the element being compared and include 'in' when comparing locations.

× As my childhood time, I have always visited my grandma's home and it was always amazing to spend time there as the scenery was spectacular.

✓ When I was a child, I often visited my grandma's home, and it was always amazing to spend time there because the scenery was spectacular.

'As my childhood time' is incorrect; use 'when I was a child.' The original mixes present perfect 'I have always visited' with past simple 'it was always amazing' which is inconsistent. This is a past tense issue (ID 5) and sentence structure/article problem (ID 26/22). Use past tense 'visited' or 'often visited' to match 'was.' Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for habitual past actions ('often visited') and natural time expressions ('when I was a child').