Views— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more concise and correct some grammar and word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., ‘greeneries’ → ‘greenery’) and correct verb forms (e.g., ‘pursue my friend’ → ‘ask a friend’).

Exemplo: I don't take much interest in photography. Although I often visit places with lots of greenery, I prefer taking selfies or asking a friend to photograph me because I enjoy capturing memories of myself more than landscapes.

Sugestão: Structure the answer with a direct topic sentence, then add specific reasons and one linking word. Correct grammar (e.g., ‘from the childhood’ → ‘since childhood’, ‘more of a natural resources’ → ‘more natural scenery’) and avoid awkward phrasing like ‘planning to live in my own village’ — say ‘plan to move back to my village.’

Exemplo: I prefer rural views because I grew up surrounded by farmland and sunflower fields. For example, since childhood I've enjoyed open spaces and fresh air, so even though I live in the city now, I plan to move back to my village in the future.

Sugestão: Give a clear topic sentence comparing domestic and foreign views, then support it with concise, specific reasons and one linking word. Improve word choice and grammar (e.g., ‘natural resources’ → ‘natural beauty’, ‘in every provinces’ → ‘in every province’, ‘hang around’ → ‘explore’).

Exemplo: I prefer views in my own country because Nepal has tremendous natural beauty. For instance, each province offers different landscapes from hills to high mountains, so I want to travel more inside Nepal — especially to the western regions I haven't explored yet.

× I do travel to places with lots of greeneries around, but I love to take my own photos.

✓ I travel to places with lots of greenery around, but I love to take my own photos.

'Do travel' is unnecessary for simple present affirmative; use 'travel'. Also 'greeneries' is incorrect pluralization; the uncountable noun is 'greenery'. Use simple present for habitual actions: 'I travel'.

× Either it's selfie or I pursue my friend to take mine.

✓ Either I take a selfie or I ask my friend to take one for me.

The original has unnatural structure and wrong verb 'pursue' which means chase. Use parallel structure 'Either... or...' and correct verbs: 'take a selfie' and 'ask my friend to take one for me'.

× It's more fun for me than taking pictures of nature.

✓ It is more fun for me than taking pictures of nature.

Contraction 'It's' is acceptable, but ensure consistency with present tense; no grammatical change needed beyond keeping full form if preferred. This sentence is grammatical; kept for clarity.

× I was born in a rural area so from the childhood I have been loving those agricultural lands, sunflower fields and more of a natural resources than the crowded streets.

✓ I was born in a rural area, so since childhood I have loved agricultural land, sunflower fields and other natural resources more than crowded streets.

Errors: 'from the childhood' should be 'since childhood'; 'have been loving' is unnatural for stative verbs—use 'have loved' or 'love'; 'those agricultural lands' can be 'agricultural land' (uncountable) or 'agricultural lands'; 'more of a natural resources' is ungrammatical—use 'other natural resources' and place 'more than crowded streets' at end.

× Honestly, even though I reside in city, I am planning to live in my own village.

✓ Honestly, even though I live in the city, I am planning to live in my own village.

Use 'live in the city' rather than 'reside in city' and include article 'the'. 'Reside' is formal; 'live' is more natural in conversation. Present simple 'I live' describes current state; 'I am planning' is correct for future intention.

× Nepal is full of natural resources.

✓ Nepal is full of natural beauty and diverse landscapes.

'Natural resources' usually refers to materials like minerals, not scenery. For landscapes and scenery, use 'natural beauty' or 'diverse landscapes'.

× I mean in every provinces you will find different types of hills, mountains and other scenery just to hang around.

✓ I mean in every province you will find different kinds of hills, mountains and other scenery to explore.

Errors: 'every provinces' should be 'every province' (singular after 'every'); 'different types of' can be 'different kinds of'; 'just to hang around' is informal and odd; 'to explore' fits context.

× And obviously I would love to visit my own as I have not travelled enough.

✓ And obviously I would love to visit my own country more, as I have not traveled enough.

Clarify 'my own' to 'my own country' for clarity. 'Have not travelled' is correct present perfect; American spelling 'traveled' or British 'travelled'—either is acceptable. Added 'more' to show desire to increase visits.

× I would like to go more of a western part of Nepal.

✓ I would like to visit the western part of Nepal.

'Go more of a western part' is ungrammatical. Use 'visit the western part' or 'go to the western part'. Use definite article 'the' with 'western part'.