Chocolate— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid minor grammar mistakes, and reduce redundancy. Replace vague phrases with precise ones and use a linking word to connect reasons.

Exemplo: Yes, I love chocolate. I eat a small piece almost every day because it gives me a quick energy boost during long working hours. For example, when I'm tired in the afternoon, a square of dark chocolate helps me feel refreshed and more focused.

Sugestão: Begin directly with frequency, avoid repetition of previous wording, and combine related ideas with linking words. Be specific about times and habits.

Exemplo: I eat chocolate almost every day, usually around noon when I take a break. I often pair it with a cup of coffee because the combination helps me relax and recharge for the afternoon.

Sugestão: Use past tense consistently and add a brief linking phrase to explain consequence. Be concise and avoid awkward tense mixes.

Exemplo: Yes, I ate a lot of chocolate as a child, and consequently I developed tooth decay. I had to undergo dental treatment, which was time-consuming and uncomfortable.

Sugestão: Clarify the main reasons with accurate word choice and grammatical structure. Use linking words and specific comparisons (e.g., cheaper, convenient). Avoid filler words.

Exemplo: I think chocolate is popular because it's convenient to eat and relatively inexpensive. In addition, its wide variety of flavours appeals to many people, unlike some artisanal sweets such as macarons which are pricier and less practical for everyday consumption.

Sugestão: Keep sentences concise and avoid hesitations. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "dark chocolate" instead of "bitter chocolates") and a clear contrast phrase to show change over time.

Exemplo: Nowadays I prefer dark chocolate because I'm watching my calorie intake and find it less sweet. However, when I was a child I liked very sweet milk chocolate, so my taste has gradually shifted toward darker varieties.

Sugestão: Express your opinion clearly and use correct phrases (e.g., "good to give chocolate as a gift"). Remove fillers, improve grammar, and give a brief reason with an example. Avoid awkward idioms like "take their gift always open hand."

Exemplo: Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it's affordable and generally well-liked. For instance, a box of chocolates is an easy choice for a colleague or neighbour because most people accept it without feeling pressured.

× I'm a big fan of chocolate and I eat almost every day.

✓ I'm a big fan of chocolate and I eat it almost every day.

Missing object pronoun 'it' after 'eat' makes the sentence incomplete; add 'it' to clarify what is eaten. Maintain present simple tense for habitual action.

× It helps me feel refreshed and satisfied, especially long hours of work.

✓ It helps me feel refreshed and satisfied, especially during long hours of work.

Missing preposition 'during' is required before the noun phrase 'long hours of work' to show when it helps; this corrects the verb + noun phrase structure.

× I usually have a piece when I need quick energy boost.

✓ I usually have a piece when I need a quick energy boost.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'quick energy boost' is required for countable noun phrase; add 'a' to be grammatically correct.

× As I said, I eat it almost every day whenever I feel exhausted.

✓ As I said, I eat it almost every day whenever I feel exhausted.

This sentence is correct; no change needed. (Included for completeness.)

× It goes well with a cup of coffee and I eat it when I have a free time at noon.

✓ It goes well with a cup of coffee and I eat it when I have free time at noon.

The phrase 'a free time' is incorrect; 'free time' is an uncountable noun so no article is needed. Remove 'a' to correct the expression.

× Yes, I ate a lot of chocolate as a child and as a result I developed tooth decay.

✓ Yes, I ate a lot of chocolate as a child and as a result I developed tooth decay.

Sentence is grammatically correct in past tense; no change needed. (Included for completeness.)

× I have to have dental treatment, which was quite troublesome and took a long time.

✓ I had to have dental treatment, which was quite troublesome and took a long time.

Mixed tense: 'I have to have' (present) conflicts with past context 'was' and 'took'. Use past 'had to have' to match the past timeframe of the dentist treatment.

× They are much hasty than other pastries and the price of it is cheaper than the most of the umm sweets like macaron or something.

✓ They are much faster to make than other pastries, and their price is cheaper than most sweets like macarons.

Multiple issues: 'hasty' is misused; use 'faster to make' or 'quicker to make'. Pronoun and article errors: 'the price of it' should be 'their price'; 'the most of the' should be 'most'. 'Macaron' should be plural 'macarons' to match 'sweets'. The sentence was restructured for clarity and correct comparisons.

× As an adult, I need to manage my weight and calories.

✓ As an adult, I need to manage my weight and my calorie intake.

Phrase 'manage my weight and calories' is awkward; specify 'calorie intake' to clearly express what is managed. Keeps present tense for general truth.

× I refrain from eating sweeter chocolates.

✓ I refrain from eating very sweet chocolates.

'Sweeter' is comparative and needs a comparison reference; use 'very sweet' to describe the chocolates generally. Alternatively, provide a comparison like 'sweeter chocolates than before'.

× Therefore, I love, umm, bitter chocolates nowadays.

✓ Therefore, I love bitter chocolate nowadays.

Use uncountable form 'bitter chocolate' for general preference; 'chocolates' is plural and suggests individual items. Keep present simple for current preference.

× In my childhood, I really loved, uh, sweet chocolate, but now I come to realize the goodness of bitter chocolate.

✓ In my childhood, I really loved sweet chocolate, but now I have come to realize the goodness of bitter chocolate.

Contrast between past and present perfect: use present perfect 'have come to realize' to indicate a change that has occurred up to now. Removes filler words for clarity.

× Yes, it is uh, good to wait to use chocolate as a gift for someone because it's not such umm, expensive gift.

✓ Yes, it is good to use chocolate as a gift for someone because it's not such an expensive gift.

'Wait to use' is incorrect in this context; likely meant 'good to use'. Also add article 'an' before 'expensive gift'. Remove filler words and correct verb choice.

× So everybody can take their gift always open hand.

✓ So everybody can receive their gift with open hands.

'Take their gift always open hand' is ungrammatical. Use 'receive' or 'accept' and the idiom 'with open hands' to convey willingness. Also place adverb 'always' appropriately if needed.

× If it's gifts are expensive, they sometimes hesitate.

✓ If the gifts are expensive, they sometimes hesitate.

'It's gifts' is incorrect; 'it's' is a contraction for 'it is'. Replace with 'the gifts' to refer to gifts in general. This fixes pronoun/article misuse.