Chocolate— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Try to avoid repeating the same idea and use more varied vocabulary. Also, make your sentences more coherent by linking ideas smoothly. For example, instead of repeating 'tasty', you could say 'I enjoy eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and brings back fond memories of sharing it with my relatives.'

Exemplo: Yes, I enjoy eating chocolate because it tastes delicious and brings back fond memories of sharing it with my relatives during special occasions.

Sugestão: Focus on making your sentences complete and avoid unnecessary pauses or repetitions. Use linking words to connect your ideas clearly. For example, you could say, 'I usually eat chocolate two to three times a week, but I try to avoid eating it every day because it can harm my health.'

Exemplo: I usually eat chocolate two to three times a week, but I try to avoid eating it every day because it can harm my health.

Sugestão: Avoid repeating words and incomplete sentences. Try to express your ideas clearly and fully. For example, you could say, 'Yes, I used to eat a lot of chocolate when I was a kid, which unfortunately led to some health problems like obesity.'

Exemplo: Yes, I used to eat a lot of chocolate when I was a kid, which unfortunately led to some health problems like obesity.

Sugestão: Try to avoid filler phrases and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically. For example, you could say, 'Chocolate is popular worldwide because it satisfies people's sweet cravings. Additionally, the chocolate industry generates significant business and employment opportunities.'

Exemplo: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it satisfies people's sweet cravings. Additionally, the chocolate industry generates significant business and employment opportunities.

Sugestão: Avoid fragmented sentences and repetitions. Use clear and complete sentences with linking words. For example, you could say, 'Personally, I like many flavors, but my favourite is almond chocolate because it tastes delicious and reminds me of happy times with my relatives.'

Exemplo: Personally, I like many flavors, but my favourite is almond chocolate because it tastes delicious and reminds me of happy times with my relatives.

Sugestão: Avoid repeating words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. For example, you could say, 'Yes, I think giving chocolates as gifts is a wonderful idea because it shows appreciation and helps strengthen relationships.'

Exemplo: Yes, I think giving chocolates as gifts is a wonderful idea because it shows appreciation and helps strengthen relationships.

× Yes, I do like eating chocolate becauses it is tasty.

✓ Yes, I do like eating chocolate because it is tasty.

The word 'becauses' is incorrect; the correct conjunction is 'because' to show reason.

× And it's tasty.

✓ It is tasty.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal and unnecessary here; better to combine or start directly.

× Moreover, it helps me.

✓ Moreover, it helps me feel good.

The sentence is incomplete; 'helps me' needs an object or complement to be clear.

× It reminds me a lot of great memories when I had with my relatives while eating chocolate with them.

✓ It reminds me a lot of great memories I had with my relatives while eating chocolate with them.

The phrase 'when I had with my relatives' is incorrect; 'I had with my relatives' is the correct structure.

× I typically eat chocolate 2-3 times a week.

✓ I typically eat chocolate two to three times a week.

Numbers under ten are usually written in words in formal writing.

× But I try to avoid eating too much chocolate everyday becauses it.

✓ But I try to avoid eating too much chocolate every day because of it.

'Becauses' is incorrect; 'because' is correct. Also, 'everyday' (adjective) should be 'every day' (adverb). The sentence is incomplete and needs 'because of it' or similar.

× It detoriates my health and.

✓ It deteriorates my health and

The sentence is incomplete and 'detoriates' is misspelled; correct spelling is 'deteriorates'.

× And makes my health worse.

✓ and makes my health worse.

Starting with 'And' is informal; better to connect with previous sentence.

× Yes, I used to eat a lot of chocolate when when when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, I used to eat a lot of chocolate when I was a kid.

Repeated words 'when' are errors; remove duplicates.

× And this let me let me for this let me on to have a lot of.

✓ And this caused me to have a lot of

The original sentence is unclear and repetitive; corrected to a clear cause-effect structure.

× Health problems such as obesity and.

✓ health problems such as obesity.

Sentence fragment; remove 'and' or complete the list.

× Chocolate is widely popular around the world 'cause it attracts many people to enjoy the sweet cravings.

✓ Chocolate is widely popular around the world because it attracts many people who enjoy sweet cravings.

'Cause' is informal; 'because' is correct. Also, 'people to enjoy the sweet cravings' is incorrect; better 'people who enjoy sweet cravings'.

× Moreover, it makes a lot of a lot of money by.

✓ Moreover, it makes a lot of money by

Repeated phrase 'a lot of' and incomplete sentence; remove repetition and complete sentence.

× Opening a business is for producing chocolate.

✓ opening a business to produce chocolate.

Incorrect phrase 'is for producing'; correct form is 'to produce'.

× Personally, there are lots of flavors but.

✓ Personally, there are lots of flavors, but

Sentence incomplete; needs continuation or removal of 'but'.

× The one that I liked, that I liked the most, which is a specific to me.

✓ The one that I like the most, which is special to me.

Tense inconsistency: 'liked' should be 'like' for present preference; 'specific' is incorrect, 'special' is correct.

× Is the almond chocolate?

✓ is almond chocolate.

Question mark is incorrect; this is a statement.

× This really delicious and it reminds me a lot of great memories with my relatives while enjoy eating with them.

✓ This is really delicious and it reminds me a lot of great memories with my relatives while enjoying eating with them.

Missing verb 'is'; 'enjoy' should be 'enjoying' to match the gerund form.

× Oh yes, it is really a great idea to give, to move, to give, to provide gifts to other people chocolates.

✓ Oh yes, it is really a great idea to give chocolates as gifts to other people.

Redundant and confusing phrasing; simplified for clarity and correct word order.

× This allows them to show a great appreciation and love to others.

✓ This allows them to show great appreciation and love to others.

'A great appreciation' is less natural; 'great appreciation' is preferred.

× Also by giving them chocolates helps helps them bond each other.

✓ Also, giving them chocolates helps them bond with each other.

Redundant 'helps helps'; missing comma after 'Also'; 'bond each other' should be 'bond with each other'.