Hometown— Part 1 Relatório

Sugestão: Be more natural and precise. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then add one specific detail. Avoid repeating 'my hometown' and correct article use (e.g., 'the Moghjapa' may be unnecessary).

Exemplo: I come from Moghjapa, a small town in Purba. It’s known for its scenic river and traditional markets, which make it a pleasant place to grow up.

Sugestão: Give a clear main idea and two specific, well-linked details. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'reborns' is incorrect; perhaps 'atmosphere' or 'scenery') and avoid filler words like 'uh'.

Exemplo: I particularly like the green hills and the peaceful atmosphere in my hometown. For example, there are several viewpoints and walking paths where locals relax and visitors take photos.

Sugestão: Answer directly with a clear time phrase, then add one concise clarifying detail. Avoid confusing or fragmented sentences and make the timeline understandable.

Exemplo: I have lived in Moghjapa since 2018. Although my family’s original hometown is elsewhere, I consider Moghjapa my current home and I like both places.

Sugestão: Start with a direct opinion, then give specific reasons linked clearly. Use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., 'beneficial for mental health' rather than 'medical issues') and avoid hesitations and repetition.

Exemplo: Yes, I think it is a good place for young people because the peaceful environment can reduce stress and support mental health. For instance, many young people enjoy walking in the hills or joining community events that help them relax.

× My hometown is the Moghjapa which is located in Purba.

✓ My hometown is Moghjapa, which is located in Purba.

Use of the definite article 'the' before a proper place name is incorrect here. Remove 'the' before the name Moghjapa. Also add a comma before the nonrestrictive relative clause 'which is located in Purba.' Suggestion: say 'My hometown is Moghjapa, which is located in Purba.'

× My hometown is very beautiful.

✓ My hometown is very beautiful.

No grammatical article error here; sentence is correct. (Included for completeness; no change required.)

× Especially I love green hills and uh, peaceful reborns.

✓ I especially love the green hills and the peaceful surroundings.

The adverb 'especially' is better placed before the verb phrase or at the start of the clause for natural word order. 'Reborns' is not an appropriate noun; likely intended meaning is 'surroundings' or 'scenery.' Also add definite articles 'the' before plural nouns when referring to specific features. Suggest saying 'I especially love the green hills and the peaceful surroundings.'

× There are many types of uh visiting place are available, so I love my hometown.

✓ There are many types of visiting places available, so I love my hometown.

The original repeats the verb 'are' twice and mismatches noun number. Use plural 'places' to match 'many types of' and remove the extra 'are.' Correct structure: 'There are many types of visiting places available.'

× Since 2018, my original hometown is the present.

✓ Since 2018, my original hometown has been the same.

After 'since 2018' use present perfect to show a state continuing to the present: 'has been.' The original 'is the present' is ungrammatical. Provide a clearer phrasing: 'Since 2018, my original hometown has been the same.'

× Here is my resident hometown.

✓ This is my current hometown.

The phrase 'resident hometown' is awkward. Use 'current hometown' to express where the student presently lives. Also 'Here is' is unnatural in this context; 'This is' is better.

× So I but I love both side of my hometown.

✓ But I love both sides of my hometown.

The original uses both 'So' and 'but' together causing a conflict; choose one conjunction. Use plural 'sides' to match 'both.' Correct: 'But I love both sides of my hometown.'

× Yes, yes, it's a best question.

✓ Yes, it's a good question.

Use 'a' with singular countable nouns, but 'best' is a superlative and normally requires 'the best' or comparative context. Here 'good question' fits the meaning. So replace 'a best question' with 'a good question.'

× This is a good place for uh, young people because sometimes young people get a depression, anxiety, sometime these types of, uh, medical issues.

✓ This is a good place for young people because sometimes they experience depression, anxiety, or other medical issues.

Avoid repeating 'young people'; use pronoun 'they' for cohesion. Use uncountable 'depression, anxiety' without articles. Use 'sometimes' consistently and 'or other medical issues' for parallel structure. Also use 'experience' rather than 'get' for more natural collocation.

× Here is a beautiful peaceful area, then you can feel something good.

✓ It is a beautiful, peaceful area where you can feel relaxed.

'Then' is not the correct connector here. Use a relative clause 'where' to show place and purpose. 'Feel something good' is vague; 'feel relaxed' is clearer and idiomatic. Also add a comma between coordinate adjectives 'beautiful' and 'peaceful.'